Responsive vs. permissive parenting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this post is confirmation that all this bunk parenting pop psychology is doing is making parents fight and go crazy. The two worst things for your kid.

These two parents would be at odds without all the bunk parenting pop psychology. If this were the 1980s, the dad would be accusing the mom of "coddling" the baby and complaining more directly that he feels neglected by her focus on the child. And she'd be saying no, it's just that the baby needs her more right now so that's her focus.

It's 2025 so instead of saying coddling, he's saying "permissive parenting", and he's not complaining that he's not getting enough attention because he knows that's socially unacceptable (but he's thinking it). And she's coming back with "no I'm engaging in responsive parenting" because using a trendy parenting term she learned from Instagram makes her argument feel more valid than just telling him to stop being jealous of the baby and grow a pair.

It's the same argument parents have been having for decades.

[Anonymous]

I see both of your perspectives.

I understand that you want to engage with your baby as much as possible, talk to her, play, teach.

I also understand that your dh thinks it’s too much and you don’t have to attend to the 100% of the time.

You are both right! No need to put her in the other room to train her to be alone, but you can put her in a high chair and talk to her or sing to her while you’re cleaning the kitchen. You don’t have to be sitting and staring at her the whole time. You can strap her to your chest and talk to her while grocery shopping. You can leave her alone for a few minutes while you use the bathroom.