Does your rising college student spend any time with you?

[Anonymous]

In part, the GF is in the way. But it's all good. You want them to have friends and a good relationship. This is all very healthy.

DD and we are planning trips all over the world next summer when DD graduates. DD does not have a bf/gf so we get to spend time with DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much travel! I also wondered if OP was paying for all of that. She could have easily had more time with him by limiting these trips.

Could you be any more selfish? lol

If the family can afford these trips, and the kid is working ft, I don't see why you want to take away the only summer before college they can have a good time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds very typical for an outgoing kid with a strong social life and decent disposable income. It sounds like you did a great job raising a healthy, interesting, responsible, social, well-adjusted kid.

Of course you feel like you’re already missing him just when you wanted to try to cram in a little more quality time together before he’s off to college, and that’s hard. Being normal and even a good thing doesn’t keep it from being painful for you as a parent, I’m sorry.

This! It’s so normal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google “soiling the nest.” A natural part of the process of him mentally preparing to go, is him doing this. Some act out, some withdraw.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying for Europe? Good lord. The privilege!

MYOB lol

I’m minding what was posted. My kid also has a full time job but doesn’t make nearly enough for all that travel. So yeah, I think it’s sad that he’s not hanging out with her at all and think that they are enabling it by bankrolling so many trips.

That was my reaction too plus college costs.

[Anonymous]

My DD likes spending time with me when I have my wallet and we're going to thrift stores.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My son works 30 hours per week and makes just under $20/hour. This is his 4th summer working and has saved $2-4K/summer, each of the past 3 years. His hourly rate has gradually increased over the summers.
The airline ticket to Europe was roughly $700, bought 2 months ago. He paid for it. He has a few other tickets in Europe on Ryan Air which were ~$70. He and friends are staying at hostels. They are roughly $40/night. Several night are completely free as they are staying with family friends. The camping trip was pretty much free outside of some camping permits. They biked. The trips to the beach are at friends' houses.

He's made roughly $2k already this summer and hasn't spent any of it--he's still living off the $4K he made last summer.
He doesn't have his own car and we will pay for college.

[Anonymous]

I can relate. Like another poster, I have to reserve time - 4th of July was a "family day" but then they had dinner and watched fireworks with friends. Yes, you can see your girlfriend, but only after dinner at home, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel you. I was in that situation just a few years back (one kid graduated last year and another next year) and the struggle doesn't end once they're in college. It's always a balance between giving them their freedom and reminding them they do have some responsivity to their family. I'm still working on it!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I can relate as well, and the transformation is a bit of a shock, but I am happy that our son is working and has a good group of friends. He will leaving the West Coast for the East Coast, we think his social activity and independence will help him adapt to being away from home.

[Anonymous]

It will make college drop-off a bit easier a month from now since he's away a lot already.

Fwiw, same boat Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying for Europe? Good lord. The privilege!

Good lord. The jealousy! Almost every graduating kid at our private has a summer planned just like this. You just run in different circles. Try to hide your provincialism a bit.

Yeah, I guess I am envious. You got me. Not provincial but definitely not in this circle.
I see the OP update that her kid is paying for it all. Obviously the backdrop of still one of privilege because the kid doesn’t have to pay anything for college. But I am sorry that I said anything. Apologies OP. Hope your kid has dinner with you soon!

[Anonymous]

My college bound kid actually wants to hang out. The rising 10th grader is a different story.