Teen girl social issues

[Anonymous]

Very typical for that age. They're ridiculously afraid of misteps. Let it be!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the most helpful social tips I was given was from my older cousin's then-boyfriend (now husband) who told me each morning while getting ready, come up with three different things to discuss with random people.

So like, today it would be:
1. Diddy guilt on two counts
2. The gov't built a huge holding pen in like two weeks, but why can't we built for homeless people?
3. My oven is broken and I'm trying to cook around it (then talk about things that can be cooked without an oven).

So for a kid it could be:
1. Diddy - same topic
2. What camps are you going to this summer?
3. Did you get any of the TJ's mini tote bags? What color? (then they can talk about which colors they want, who has, who'd be willing to switch, etc.).
4. Ginny & Georgia

This all seems bizarre to me and would seem to highlight one’s social awkwardness.

OP here. I get this is helpful to engage. But I think my daughter wants things to not be so "set up" or "contrived." She wants to be able to bring up topics naturally. So she wants to know why she has difficulty with this when other girls don't.

Point out to her that she has NO IDEA how much other girls are stressing about this, getting help from their moms, running through things to say in their heads, practicing in the mirror, etc. I got good at small talk by learning to chat with my hairdressers. They are experts at it.

[Anonymous]

Awkward age.
Don't overthink it.
You are obsessing OP. Just look at how much you wrote. Chillax and go spend some time with your kiddo and not obsess so much.

[Anonymous]

Sending you lots of empathy. Being empathetic with your child is helpful. As I told my DD, "Show me the person who wants to go back to middle school because it was so great. I have yet to find him or her." We have a good laugh about how hard and awkward the middle school years can be, especially when things happen at school to others she knows and we talk about why her peers may have responded as they did. Most of the time it is because they felt awkward or self-conscious. I found creating a few routines where we regularly bond, ie walk for boba, go to Target, watching a weekly show together and encouraging her to try a host of activities helped. The teen years are about trying out different groups and finding your people. Maybe she hasn't found her people yet. As long as she isn't afraid of trying new activities or having new experiences I would not be too worried.