Activities for Always Bored 4th Grader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs hobbies. Reading, coloring, sports etc.

Um...that's why I'm here asking. She needs hobbies and she's uninterested in most of the ones my other kids are interested in unless those hobbies involve other people.

The rest of the family are introverts who easily found hobbies, hence my seeming inability to figure this out even though I have older kids. My older kids are avid readers, writers, and will (or would) play imaginative games on their own for hours. DC3 doesn't want to do any of that except reading some days. She'll paint, but gets bored of many other craft projects quickly.

Have you tried taking her to a craft store and letting her browse around?

[Anonymous]

I have one exactly like yours (11yoDD)- I don't think it's (all) my parenting, because my other kids are not constantly "bored," and DH is the exact same as this DD (and his parents basically neglected him as a child). We try to do something social or a family activity every weekend day. We have a pool, so in the summers we usually have people over to swim or go to people's houses to swim, but we also do bike rides to a some type of destination, host play dates, gather with our couple friends at a local pickleball spot (where the kids can play their own games), etc. But we can't really do a "hang out by ourselves at home" day - DD will just resolve her boredom by picking fights with her siblings. DH also gets grumpy.

It has helped a little bit because she is now at a point where she can babysit our 6 yo. She feels proud of herself and takes her role seriously so she will find things to do with him. This is probably not helpful this summer, but I wonder if going into 5th there would be any younger neighbor kids your dd could play with as a mother's helper for a few bucks an hour.

As far as the few things she will do solo, she has dabbled in just about everything, but will reliably cook, bake, do her nails, sometimes read graphic novels (she reads before bed but otherwise doesn't usually pick up a book during the day unless it is a magazine or graphic novel). She makes friendship bracelets and crochets, but usually only while she is also doing something else (riding the school bus or chatting with a friend - we have a landline). She also does Duolingo (that is an exception to our usual screen rules). She has a 500+ day streak at this point. When she was in elementary I also enforced piano practice daily.

Of a little different vein, we started going to church when she was a baby - she was "bored" even then lol and I didn't know what to do with her crying all the time- and she still prefers going to Sunday School over having to be home. Sometimes I just drop her at Sunday School and get a cup of coffee in the church lounge. At least that gives her some socializing and it is something to do on a weekend day if we don't have any plans.

On snow days, we will give the kids an hour of screen time per hour of chores / educational activities (like a math workbook, reading, etc.). I don't think that I would do that every weekend day, but if you just have a day here or there where you are at your wits' end, that can be helpful.

TV time in moderation is also OK. Second the rec for "Just add magic."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s amazing how quickly a kid figures out what to do when their only option is to do a chore it works beautifully. especially when whining about it means extra chores.

You have to teach her that boredom is not an emergency.

Yes, I give chores to bored children- dishes, laundry, cleaning toys, etc. I will say to purge clothes, books, toys.

They also have books to read, workbooks, instrument to practice.

[Anonymous]

My ADHD kid NEEDS to be with friends at all times. Luckily there are a few in the neighborhood and they run between each others houses but right now everyone is going away. I made a list with her of things she can do for fun - listen to music, crafts, bake something, jog or bike etc. I bought things to help make that happen - craft supplies, baking supplies. We also made a list of things she could do if she got bored of her own fun list - wipe down the bathrooms, clean her closet, under her bed etc. I don’t even mind extra screen time but she gets bored of that quickly. Another list of things she wants me to do with her - drive and listen to music, get bubble tea and things like that when I’m available. Having the lists of things we both agree to in advance is helpful.

[Anonymous]

this is a great list!

Anonymous wrote:Jigsaw Puzzles
Puzzle/Activity Books
Kitchen Chemistry (you might need to approve the activities first)
Crafts - crochet (I never really learned, but both my girls went deep into this and it kept them busy for years), friendship bracelets, latchhook, Origami, paper mache, etc.
Klutz books are more activity than books and the ones we tried were all great. I think my girls’ favorite when they were about that age was the Nail Art book (with non-toxic polish), but they cover a wide range of topics.
https://shop.scholastic.com/parent-ecommerce/klutz.html

Solitaire - She’s old enough that she can handle games in general, not just kid games. You can teach her the basics version, and if she likes it, get her a book that teaches variations

Does she have an outdoor space she can play unsupervised? That could open up a lot of choices.

I understand that the prevailing wisdom on DCUM is that screens are terrible, but personally, I think it’s just another format of media, and that content is much more important than the format with which it is delivered. There are also countless educational websites, apps, and shows. Also, it’s a lot more fun to play traditional board and card games with a virtual opponent than by yourself. (I speak from experience, as an only child in the pre-digital age, I can remember trying to play myself in checkers: “me vs. I”. It was every bit as pathetic as it sounds.)

If you’re open to screens, here are some more options for you:

Scratch is a programming language developed by MIT to teach kids how to code. It’s free and fun, and gives them a great introduction to programming.
https://scratch.mit.edu/parents

Hoagies has links to enrichment websites for all ages and subjects.
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/links.htm

If your child has any specific interests, I can probably suggest additional resources.

There are lots of logic puzzles available. SET and Rush Hour may have started as physical games, but SET has a daily puzzle and I think there are many app versions of Rush Hour.

My kids also enjoyed the computer games Zoombinis and The Incredible Machine, but that was back when they played computer games on a desktop PC. I think there are app versions of these now, but I have no doubt that there are countless games that can take advantage of current technology.

Here are some shows that your daughter might enjoy, many (but not all) are educational. While I would consider them appropriate for a fourth grader, different families may have different concerns, so I encourage you to check Common Sense Media and/or IMDB Parents Guide for any concerns you might have.

Just Add Magic
Flight 29 Down
Mythbusters
Chopped Junior
PBS KIDS - everything

My kids also enjoyed a lot of old classic reruns (Bewitched, Gilligan’s Island, The Monkees, etc.)

I would strongly urge you NOT to require her to read. Take her to the library/used book store and let her browse around while you pick out something for yourself. Maybe pick out an assortment of library books that will be available if she’s interested (and not just chapter books - puzzle books like I Spy/Where’s Waldo, novelty books like the Guinness Book of World Records or Ripley’s Believe-It-or-Not, joke books, (but only if you can tolerate riddles and Knock-Knocks), picture books, Kate Klise books like her Regarding the. . . series that is written in the form of letters, documents, etc., choose your own adventure books, humorous poetry like Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends, etc.) Read together with her (she’s not too old and it doesn’t have to be limited to bedtime), or read by yourself with an open invitation to her to join you.

[Anonymous]

I would let her have friends over a lot. Some people are just social creatures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jigsaw Puzzles
Puzzle/Activity Books
Kitchen Chemistry (you might need to approve the activities first)
Crafts - crochet (I never really learned, but both my girls went deep into this and it kept them busy for years), friendship bracelets, latchhook, Origami, paper mache, etc.
Klutz books are more activity than books and the ones we tried were all great. I think my girls’ favorite when they were about that age was the Nail Art book (with non-toxic polish), but they cover a wide range of topics.
https://shop.scholastic.com/parent-ecommerce/klutz.html

Solitaire - She’s old enough that she can handle games in general, not just kid games. You can teach her the basics version, and if she likes it, get her a book that teaches variations

Does she have an outdoor space she can play unsupervised? That could open up a lot of choices.

I understand that the prevailing wisdom on DCUM is that screens are terrible, but personally, I think it’s just another format of media, and that content is much more important than the format with which it is delivered. There are also countless educational websites, apps, and shows. Also, it’s a lot more fun to play traditional board and card games with a virtual opponent than by yourself. (I speak from experience, as an only child in the pre-digital age, I can remember trying to play myself in checkers: “me vs. I”. It was every bit as pathetic as it sounds.)

If you’re open to screens, here are some more options for you:

Scratch is a programming language developed by MIT to teach kids how to code. It’s free and fun, and gives them a great introduction to programming.
https://scratch.mit.edu/parents

Hoagies has links to enrichment websites for all ages and subjects.
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/links.htm

If your child has any specific interests, I can probably suggest additional resources.

There are lots of logic puzzles available. SET and Rush Hour may have started as physical games, but SET has a daily puzzle and I think there are many app versions of Rush Hour.

My kids also enjoyed the computer games Zoombinis and The Incredible Machine, but that was back when they played computer games on a desktop PC. I think there are app versions of these now, but I have no doubt that there are countless games that can take advantage of current technology.

Here are some shows that your daughter might enjoy, many (but not all) are educational. While I would consider them appropriate for a fourth grader, different families may have different concerns, so I encourage you to check Common Sense Media and/or IMDB Parents Guide for any concerns you might have.

Just Add Magic
Flight 29 Down
Mythbusters
Chopped Junior
PBS KIDS - everything

My kids also enjoyed a lot of old classic reruns (Bewitched, Gilligan’s Island, The Monkees, etc.)

I would strongly urge you NOT to require her to read. Take her to the library/used book store and let her browse around while you pick out something for yourself. Maybe pick out an assortment of library books that will be available if she’s interested (and not just chapter books - puzzle books like I Spy/Where’s Waldo, novelty books like the Guinness Book of World Records or Ripley’s Believe-It-or-Not, joke books, (but only if you can tolerate riddles and Knock-Knocks), picture books, Kate Klise books like her Regarding the. . . series that is written in the form of letters, documents, etc., choose your own adventure books, humorous poetry like Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends, etc.) Read together with her (she’s not too old and it doesn’t have to be limited to bedtime), or read by yourself with an open invitation to her to join you.

This is really helpful. Thank you so much. I can see several things on here she'd like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only boring people are bored. When my riding 4th grader complains, she gets chores to do. She has quickly figured out that she can read a book, play legos, draw etc. Can your kid have some specific things to do? Like cook a meal a day, sort laundry etc?

This!!

[Anonymous]

I had to figure out my own boredom as a kid. How to fill the time? My time wasn't filled with over-scheduling. I'm now an artist. I filled that time with personal creativity. Spent a lot of time in my head. Honed it later. Boredom is the gateway to developing the creative mind. Don't discount it.

[Anonymous]

If you’re concerned about screens (and me too), a good rule is “non-algorithmic options.” No mindless scrolling on YouTube, for example. But my rising 4th grader enjoys messing around with graphic design software and chess programs. I’m fine with those - that’s how I started making websites as a kid. (I also don’t help. Half the fun is figuring it out when you get stuck!)

[Anonymous]

Chores

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re enabling her a bit too much - she needs to be bored and figure it out.

+1
It’s an important life skill to be able to figure out how to entertain yourself. Help her learn how to do this.

Sit down with her and brainstorm all the things she can do by herself and either make a numbered list or put them on index cards. Designate a time when she is responsible for entertaining herself - 2 hrs mid-morning for example. She can either just decide to do something, or randomly choose (pull an index card/roll dice). If she bugs you or another family member during that timeframe, she gets assigned a chore. Reward her after the timeframe when she’s successful by doing something with her - either just family time (lunch) or special time together on a craft etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why your other child is in activities and this one isn't. Put her in activities, take her to the pool, playground, etc.

It's a long story why they have after camp stuff and she doesn't, and involves a stubborn DH. She doesn't want to do her sibling's activity (which is one he likes), she wants to do one of her own (which is not one he likes). I may need to just override him on that, but it will still only cover a short period.

This is pretty terrible parenting. No wonder she’s bored. Good luck later on when she realizes you treat her differently. It’s not a long story. You both are too selfish to put her needs equally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ADHD kid NEEDS to be with friends at all times. Luckily there are a few in the neighborhood and they run between each others houses but right now everyone is going away. I made a list with her of things she can do for fun - listen to music, crafts, bake something, jog or bike etc. I bought things to help make that happen - craft supplies, baking supplies. We also made a list of things she could do if she got bored of her own fun list - wipe down the bathrooms, clean her closet, under her bed etc. I don’t even mind extra screen time but she gets bored of that quickly. Another list of things she wants me to do with her - drive and listen to music, get bubble tea and things like that when I’m available. Having the lists of things we both agree to in advance is helpful.

Or, you could spend time with her vs dumping her on neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s amazing how quickly a kid figures out what to do when their only option is to do a chore it works beautifully. especially when whining about it means extra chores.

You have to teach her that boredom is not an emergency.

Yes, I give chores to bored children- dishes, laundry, cleaning toys, etc. I will say to purge clothes, books, toys.

They also have books to read, workbooks, instrument to practice.

So, the other kids get activities and camos and she gets to clean…..