Making friends with other parents through school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

If you're CLOSE with 20 families how many are acquaintances?

We have about the same acquaintances. The 20 families are people I talk to on a regular basis and we travel with on overnight trips with their families every year, it’s 4 separate trips.

[Anonymous]

And I’m PP, but my best friends aren’t these families. Any closest friends don’t have kids that line up with my kids at all. I put the most into these friendships because they will last longer than some of the ones connected by our kids being friends.

[Anonymous]

Don't count on your kids friends parents to be your friends!! Age old mistake.

Make your own friends. That's not to say you can't be friendly with your kids friend's parents. In fact, for many years, you'll be forced to spend time with them (and discuss schools, sports, scouts, swim drama) but by no means make the mistake they're your friends.

[Anonymous]

OP do you not have any friends? I wish I had more time and energy for my college and law school friends. The parents of my kids classmates are lovely but I just can’t.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar position as you and ended up friends with many of the parents who didn't have older kids. Those parents already knew each other and were setting up playdates, etc with each other. Kid is in 8th grade now and those parents aren't doing as great friendwise as their kids are no longer friends, whereas I feel like those of us who were friendly eventually clicked and are friends regardless of the kids being friends.

There has been some changes with parent friends as the kids got older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you not have any friends? I wish I had more time and energy for my college and law school friends. The parents of my kids classmates are lovely but I just can’t.

OP here - I moved into the DC area recently from out of town. I have a handful of close friends in this area (high school/college) but I don’t see them a ton, it’s a bit of a commute to see them. My other close friends from school/other phases of life - well, I see them every once in a while but they’re not local.

I will say I’ve made friends from my kids’ daycares and we got along pretty well. So I’m hopeful for elementary school as well. I’d love to just find a small group of people out of the many parents out there that I can really click with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

you're not close to 20 families. nobody is. the overwhelming majority of the relationships are based on convenience.

check back in five years and let us know how many of those families you're still "close" to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

you're not close to 20 families. nobody is. the overwhelming majority of the relationships are based on convenience.

check back in five years and let us know how many of those families you're still "close" to.

Jealous much? Close in that we talk everyday and travel with them, I could leave my kids there if I had to call at 2am for a hospital emergency, we travel with them.. I just said my best friends aren’t these people. But yah I would say we have pretty good relationships, being able to call at any hour and get help in an emergency.

[Anonymous]

I made friends through volunteering at DCs' K-8. My DCs are 17 and 21 now, and I have two "for life" friends from that experience---we still socialize regularly as individuals, couples, and families. When my DCs were still in elementary school the wider circle was pretty big, but I've lost touch with a lot of those people outside of social media contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

you're not close to 20 families. nobody is. the overwhelming majority of the relationships are based on convenience.

check back in five years and let us know how many of those families you're still "close" to.

Jealous much? Close in that we talk everyday and travel with them, I could leave my kids there if I had to call at 2am for a hospital emergency, we travel with them.. I just said my best friends aren’t these people. But yah I would say we have pretty good relationships, being able to call at any hour and get help in an emergency.

You talk to 20 people every day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

you're not close to 20 families. nobody is. the overwhelming majority of the relationships are based on convenience.

check back in five years and let us know how many of those families you're still "close" to.

Jealous much? Close in that we talk everyday and travel with them, I could leave my kids there if I had to call at 2am for a hospital emergency, we travel with them.. I just said my best friends aren’t these people. But yah I would say we have pretty good relationships, being able to call at any hour and get help in an emergency.

Wow. I would have been hard-pressed to find enough parents I liked enough to make that kind of effort. I never realized how weird some people are until I was forced to socialize with the school crowd. I had to work hard to find my people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

you're not close to 20 families. nobody is. the overwhelming majority of the relationships are based on convenience.

check back in five years and let us know how many of those families you're still "close" to.

Jealous much? Close in that we talk everyday and travel with them, I could leave my kids there if I had to call at 2am for a hospital emergency, we travel with them.. I just said my best friends aren’t these people. But yah I would say we have pretty good relationships, being able to call at any hour and get help in an emergency.

You talk to 20 people every day?

Yes, it’s not uncommon in close knit communities with a few group texts. OP is asking how to get to the next level with elementary school families and I am giving advice- plan a dinner with an existing group or offer a carpool group to be helpful. A lot of planning and organizing is done through these group messages. Usually a sports team or dance group, or a prek class. I have three kids so a few groups. But as I said, my best friend are separate and I put the most energy into them. We don’t have kids that line up at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

you're not close to 20 families. nobody is. the overwhelming majority of the relationships are based on convenience.

check back in five years and let us know how many of those families you're still "close" to.

Jealous much? Close in that we talk everyday and travel with them, I could leave my kids there if I had to call at 2am for a hospital emergency, we travel with them.. I just said my best friends aren’t these people. But yah I would say we have pretty good relationships, being able to call at any hour and get help in an emergency.

Wow. I would have been hard-pressed to find enough parents I liked enough to make that kind of effort. I never realized how weird some people are until I was forced to socialize with the school crowd. I had to work hard to find my people.

That’s your issue then. My kids really enjoy doing social things and weekend trips with their friends and they are only young once. In Hs this will likely come to an end. You don’t have to insult someone because you have different dynamics. The OP is asking how to get to know people in her kid’s elementary school. The whole thread is based on that. No one is forced to socialize with anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

If you're CLOSE with 20 families how many are acquaintances?

We have about the same acquaintances. The 20 families are people I talk to on a regular basis and we travel with on overnight trips with their families every year, it’s 4 separate trips.

you travel overnight with 20 different families over the course of an average year? I call bullshit unless it's travel sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have about 20 families we are close with. Initiate group dinners at family friendly places is a good one to get the parents involved. I’ll text our baseball team and say “anyone want to meet for Pizza” after practice especially if it’s a Friday or Sat/Sun. Usually half the team goes. I met most when the kids were babies in our neighborhood though. The ones I am close with after is by being helpful or offering to share carpools for activities.

you're not close to 20 families. nobody is. the overwhelming majority of the relationships are based on convenience.

check back in five years and let us know how many of those families you're still "close" to.

Jealous much? Close in that we talk everyday and travel with them, I could leave my kids there if I had to call at 2am for a hospital emergency, we travel with them.. I just said my best friends aren’t these people. But yah I would say we have pretty good relationships, being able to call at any hour and get help in an emergency.

jealous? hardly. sounds like hell. we have actual friends of our own and family.