Almost 12 year old - exposing himself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You blame it on OCD but fail to correct basic behavior like hand washing after touching himself while eating. So I don’t think this is OCD at all, I think it’s you not recognizing puberty for what it is and trying to take the easy way out by drugging him rather than teach him appropriate behavior related to masturbación. I suggest you get a sex ex class that’s geared towards special needs and find a professional to address this. If you’re not even making him wash his hands after then you need a lot of parent training around basic issues.

What? Are you high? Who are you responding to? What is there about hand washing and masturbation in the OP? I think you may be confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take away the fact that it's exposing himself. These are intrusive thoughts that he can't let go of until he does them. It's the same intrusive/compulsion thinking of OCD. If you observe his behaviors, I'll bet you'll find that the exposing himself isn't the only intrusive/compulsion behavior he has.

I don't have much experience with the acting out on the intrusive thoughts bit so I don't think the type of therapist I've worked with on that would work for this. One who deals with OCD may be a good starting point.

OCD was my first thought as well.

With all due respect, neither of you understand ocd.

So you don't think this is OCD?

OCD is defined by unwanted thoughts/fears that cause great distress, followed by compulsive behaviors to *alleviate that distress.* it’s the intense distress following the thought and the conviction that the action will alleviate that distress that is missing here. Instead, the child seems to have an impulse that is acted upon due to a lack of impulse control. There’s no separation from the thought to the action, no cycle to break if that makes sense.
I wouldn’t immediately ascribe adult meaning to his actions, but it’s doesn’t sound like ocd.

[Anonymous]

Also, in the interim (and yes I have dealt with this before)- pants with a belt. It’s one more step and if he *has* to get it out, a physical reminder to go to the bathroom first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You blame it on OCD but fail to correct basic behavior like hand washing after touching himself while eating. So I don’t think this is OCD at all, I think it’s you not recognizing puberty for what it is and trying to take the easy way out by drugging him rather than teach him appropriate behavior related to masturbación. I suggest you get a sex ex class that’s geared towards special needs and find a professional to address this. If you’re not even making him wash his hands after then you need a lot of parent training around basic issues.

why are you so obsessed with handwashing? and why so mean?

[Anonymous]

Just want to point out that tics are often thought to be a physical manifestation of OCD (this is per my child’s neurologist and her therapist). So there is not necessarily a long thought process before the compulsion - it could be a very brief intrusive thought or urge.

OP, you mention ADHD. I want to make sure as you go to various appointments that you know this: stimulant medications for ADHD can make anxiety worse, tics worse, and OCD worse.

[Anonymous]

I'm an actual OCD therapist and this doesn't sound like OCD to mean. It would be highly unusual to have a compulsion of exposing himself. If he presented to me to therapy my first guess would be that he is being abused or exposed to abusive material. Could potentially also be ASD. Book a full neuropsych eval asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You blame it on OCD but fail to correct basic behavior like hand washing after touching himself while eating. So I don’t think this is OCD at all, I think it’s you not recognizing puberty for what it is and trying to take the easy way out by drugging him rather than teach him appropriate behavior related to masturbación. I suggest you get a sex ex class that’s geared towards special needs and find a professional to address this. If you’re not even making him wash his hands after then you need a lot of parent training around basic issues.

You are concerned about hand washing here? That is what first comes to mind for you? What? And OP said it does not seem sexual. Agree with PP -- go away. You re the opposite of helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take away the fact that it's exposing himself. These are intrusive thoughts that he can't let go of until he does them. It's the same intrusive/compulsion thinking of OCD. If you observe his behaviors, I'll bet you'll find that the exposing himself isn't the only intrusive/compulsion behavior he has.

I don't have much experience with the acting out on the intrusive thoughts bit so I don't think the type of therapist I've worked with on that would work for this. One who deals with OCD may be a good starting point.

OCD was my first thought as well.

With all due respect, neither of you understand ocd.

So you don't think this is OCD?

OCD is defined by unwanted thoughts/fears that cause great distress, followed by compulsive behaviors to *alleviate that distress.* it’s the intense distress following the thought and the conviction that the action will alleviate that distress that is missing here. Instead, the child seems to have an impulse that is acted upon due to a lack of impulse control. There’s no separation from the thought to the action, no cycle to break if that makes sense.
I wouldn’t immediately ascribe adult meaning to his actions, but it’s doesn’t sound like ocd.

Tourrette's, which is frequently seen with OCD, comes to my mind with this. But it doesn't sound like Tourrette's, more akin to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take away the fact that it's exposing himself. These are intrusive thoughts that he can't let go of until he does them. It's the same intrusive/compulsion thinking of OCD. If you observe his behaviors, I'll bet you'll find that the exposing himself isn't the only intrusive/compulsion behavior he has.

I don't have much experience with the acting out on the intrusive thoughts bit so I don't think the type of therapist I've worked with on that would work for this. One who deals with OCD may be a good starting point.

OCD was my first thought as well.

With all due respect, neither of you understand ocd.

So you don't think this is OCD?

OCD is defined by unwanted thoughts/fears that cause great distress, followed by compulsive behaviors to *alleviate that distress.* it’s the intense distress following the thought and the conviction that the action will alleviate that distress that is missing here. Instead, the child seems to have an impulse that is acted upon due to a lack of impulse control. There’s no separation from the thought to the action, no cycle to break if that makes sense.
I wouldn’t immediately ascribe adult meaning to his actions, but it’s doesn’t sound like ocd.

I obviously don’t know what’s going on with this child but this type of thing absolutely could be ocd-sometimes the ritual is performed almost instantly after the distressing thought-for example, see a knife/have a distressing thought they might pick it up and stab someone/touch hand to heart to “neutralize” the thought-that entire cycle can take place in 5 seconds and the only visible part to others would be touching hand to heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You blame it on OCD but fail to correct basic behavior like hand washing after touching himself while eating. So I don’t think this is OCD at all, I think it’s you not recognizing puberty for what it is and trying to take the easy way out by drugging him rather than teach him appropriate behavior related to masturbación. I suggest you get a sex ex class that’s geared towards special needs and find a professional to address this. If you’re not even making him wash his hands after then you need a lot of parent training around basic issues.

You are concerned about hand washing here? That is what first comes to mind for you? What? And OP said it does not seem sexual. Agree with PP -- go away. You re the opposite of helpful.

I asked about handwashing to know how op responds when this happens. The handwashing question was to know if the child being sent to the bathroom and if the behavior was being interrupted or ignored (the most common intervention for public masturbation is to send them to the bathroom or bedroom, in a restaurant I assumed bathroom. I did not say did you send him to the bathroom to masturbate because OP is not even aware that’s what’s going on. I figured asking if she sent him to wash his hands was the best question because her response would show me the most information). I learned from this and all her crazy responses that she does not consider this a big deal, she’s done nothing to address it, she finds it ok to fondle yourself whilst eating, she wants to drug her child for masturbating, and ultimately her son needs SN related sex ed, and she seriously needs parent training. I would bet money that this is puberty & hormone related.