What changed when your child turned 18?
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Anonymous
| Nothing. But I still take care of DS in many ways (laundry, dinner, car insurance) so to declare anything would sound ridiculous because he knows (and appreciates!!) his the deal he has. |
Anonymous
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They could vote, they got HIPPA and FERPA protection which they signed waivers for parental access.
If they had wanted to leave or exert their rights as an adult then I would have known that I failed as a parent. |
Anonymous
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They could vote and sign up for draft, if applicable.
No curfew changes. I still expect courtesy to house rules. Mine were already in college when they turned 18. |
Anonymous
| ^oh and they had to get their own credit card without a co-sign and pay with their own funds. No allowance. |
Anonymous
| I’m sure most of this announcement is just excitement over turning 18. I doubt they’ll change their entire personality the day after their birthday. |
Anonymous
Don't laugh at her, just have a grown up to grown up conversation about more freedom and more responsibility. Remind her that she is still on your health and auto insurance which puts you on risk as well. |
Anonymous
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Remind your child who's roof she lives under and who foots most of her expenses.. Bet that won't change when she turns 18 |
Anonymous
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OP, I can relate. Mine told me he would start writing his own notes for missing classes, senior in HS, we laughed and said sure, but if your failing grades jeopardize your scholarship, you'll be attending MO tgomery College instead of the college you want to attend.
It ended up being a big nothing burger, other than registering for the draft and voting. Ignore the holier-than-thou attitude from those parents who claim you've parented badly/wrong, they are probably either childless, or have elementary school kids. |
Anonymous
| With my two kids (almost 18 and 21) not much changes until they move out and are fully in their own. |
Anonymous
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Nothing. We basically told them that they have to be more careful because if they make a mistake they will be charged as an adult. They are not White.
We had already prepared them to be cautious over the years - keeping their digital footprints clean, not getting scammed/catfished, being cautious about passwords etc, being physically safe, a safe car, safe driver ed, how to interact with any cops or people in authority, their rights, how not to get involved with shady people, how to stay away from drugs, alcohol, vaping etc... Financially, nothing changed for them. They were given $20K as seed money for investing before they began college, they have a ROTH, we pay for college/all other expenses, they are on our medical insurance till they are 25, they will get a new car when they graduate, they will always have us as financial support, we will pay for their wedding and help with down payment of their home. In terms of basic household adulting - I do their laundry, clean their room, cook for them etc when they are home. But my kids have been taught how to do laundry, clean, fold clothes, cook food, shop for groceries, how to host etc... We don't charge rent from our kids and never charge them for food. Why do you think they would want to change anything? We have raised smart kids who can do the Math. |
Anonymous
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Not a whole lot for my DS who is now 19.
Biggest thing was the reminder that now at 18, he is considered an adult and the consequences for his actions are much different. He already was paying for his cell phone, gas for the car and a portion of his car insurance. He even would basics if we were out - more so milk and cereal, but it's something. He has said tongue-in-cheek that he was going to do such and such now that he was 18, but not a big deal overall. |
Anonymous
| This year is crucial to have a good relationship your adult child. Don't let their oppositional defiance ruin it. |
Anonymous
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Nothing except that she has some complex medical needs that we managed and we asked her to keep giving us access. She is generally responsible, but we wanted to make sure nothing would go wrong.
Also, I do not have access to her college grades. I could have pushed on this since we are paying, but honestly it really stressed me out in high school, and I felt like it would be better not to know. She is doing fine. But our kid is a goody goody. She WAS a major jerk Senior year, though. Soiling the nest is real. After first year of college, she is much nicer. |
Anonymous
| Nothing outside of the little things mentioned here. My now 20 year old did make some sort of comment about what they could do as a legal adult and I reminded them that they were welcome to assume the financial responsibilities of being an adult as well if they wanted to. My 17 year old made a similar comment recently and I said the same. They’re ready to embrace the rights of an 18 year old, but not so much the responsibilities, which ultimately speaks to their immaturity and that’s okay, imo they’re still kids figuring it out. |
Anonymous
| I started being much more hands off though obviously that was a progression from driving age on. But it’s not all smooth. At 18 they are not ready for full independence and sometimes learn through trial and error. Just had a not great call from ds freaking out about something very manageable from his overseas vacation. It’s very tempting to want and “fix”, but better not to. |