What changed when your child turned 18?

[Anonymous]

DD constantly reminds me she is turning 18 in a few weeks. She’s informed us that she will no longer follow a curfew and can come and go as she pleases. I laughed at her- not whike ahe is living with us.

What has your new 18 year announce to you..

[Anonymous]

Just FYI all her medical info will become private even if you pay and have the insurance.

Also any custodial financial accounts become hers.

You may have a hard time controlling her hours, but you can still control your car, credit card and phone plan.

529s remain yours.

[Anonymous]

What changed is that now they are adults and responsible for the consequences of their actions. None of mine made the kind of announcements that yours did. It really wasn’t that significant.

[Anonymous]

Dd turned 18 last year in August and she declared/announced nothing. I would have laughed in her face and told her when she moves out she can do as she pleases but at 18 I'm still supporting her so she still follows house rules.

Curfew may be later but not any time she felt like coming home.

[Anonymous]

If mine told me that I’d bring out the rental agreement and take the car keys and cell phone I pay for and start monthly installments for college tuition.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If mine told me that I’d bring out the rental agreement and take the car keys and cell phone I pay for and start monthly installments for college tuition.

Honestly, this. When I was 18 and pulled this crap, my parents started charging me rent and printed off rental prices at nearby cheap apartments. It was only $25 a week rent to live at home, but was humbling to see how much more it would be to live on my own (because I hated forking over $100 of the measly $400 a month I was making) and how I completely couldn’t afford it.

We came to a curfew agreement that was considerate of everyone.

[Anonymous]

No, not as long as you are paying for her housing, food, medical care, college, etc.

[Anonymous]

if you’re 18-year-old is declaring this you went wrong at some point in your parenting. Perhaps you’re super strict.

When my kids turned around 23 and definitely around 25 they were ready to be independent.

When my kids were 18 Ish, they requested to make their own decisions on uncertain subjects, and when I pointed out their decision and what the consequence might be and how much that might cost, I asked them if they were willing to pay that cost They were not, so yeah they didn’t.

[Anonymous]

They went off our cell phone plan

[Anonymous]

About a month before he Announced that he was opening a Roth IRA and getting a checking account different from his student checking account which is linked to ours.

[Anonymous]

Mine didn’t declare anything. It was actually very uneventful. I asked them to sign medical power of attorney and ROIs for medical info. They could have declined but agreed. The dramatic change happened when they went off to college. At that point, I didn’t feel a curfew was appropriate after living independently but I asked them to be respectful and let is know if they’d be home late or not home at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If mine told me that I’d bring out the rental agreement and take the car keys and cell phone I pay for and start monthly installments for college tuition.

Same. You want to be an adult? Then you're FULLY an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD constantly reminds me she is turning 18 in a few weeks. She’s informed us that she will no longer follow a curfew and can come and go as she pleases. I laughed at her- not whike ahe is living with us.

What has your new 18 year announce to you..

I think the good news here is that you can expect her to try to move out quickly.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. A paltry summer job doesn't come close to paying for university. The power imbalance is still huge at that age. I treat my kids lovingly and with respect, and in return, they know which side their bread is buttered.