Emptiness after WW Affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WW?

Work wife, maybe?

Weight Watchers?

Woman Woman? Lesbian affair?

[Anonymous]

Wonder woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WW?

Work wife, maybe?

Weight Watchers?

Woman Woman? Lesbian affair?

That makes more sense than worldwide, which is all I could think of

[Anonymous]

Way Ward.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a pretty common trauma response - numbness & shock & withdrawal. It is protective in a way, but obviously not healthy. I regret not doing individual therapy after my ex cheated, not because I think it would have saved the relationship but because it would have helped me move forward.

I ended the relationship and maintained full custody of my kids for two decades, while my ex had visitation, so I was really overwhelmed by parenting, but an individual therapist could have helped me refocus on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WW?

Work wife, maybe?

Weight Watchers?

Woman Woman? Lesbian affair?

That makes more sense than worldwide, which is all I could think of

I’m screaming! This is what I was thinking too 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happened over a decade ago and I stayed for the kids. She finally admitted everything 3 years ago and we divorced. When I lost my family, I think it just tore everything apart. My life is fine from the outside, but I am still dead inside. I don’t miss her, but I do miss having my kids and a family. It’s a numb feeling where I do life, but don’t desire it.

I'm so sorry and I commiserate. I too was betrayed and now feel empty.
I wish there was a dating app ONLY for those who were betrayed, and widowed. Because, great quality people who live a good honorable life with values deserve to find each other and build goodness again.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a partner I cared so deeply about. I always knew people cheated and I expected it.

so sad. this is what I fear my kids will think about life after their dad abandoned us for a mistress.
I grew up in a healthy home with secure attachments to my family and a true belief and conviction that marriage was a commitment forever. It was nice to have complete trust in people. Very sadly, my husband destroyed safety, trust and security for me and our kids for life. Even our friends are shaken by his betrayal.
Adultery/affair/abandonment is one of the worst things in life you can do to a family

Oh grow up. Look in the mirror and think about why your husband moved on. Take some responsibility for your shortcomings.

That especially hogwash for his relationship with the kids. If you don’t embrace joyfully your ex-husband’s former mistress, now girlfriend, then you’re undermining your kids. The kids love you, their father, and their eventual stepmother. Or they SHOULD, unless you poison the relationship because the kids are afraid to hurt your feelings. Then what kind of weaklings will the kids be when they grow up? Wallowing in empathy for everyone else rather than taking care of their own business first.

Let the kids be kids, kids who love their mother AND their father.

[Anonymous]

Any man who stays with a wife after she cheats is delusional.

[Anonymous]

Cheaters don’t leave their faithful spouse, they leave the life the built and force the consequences of their escape on their family. Cowardice and selfishness is the core of all cheater’s morality and identity. The mate poacher is their true equal, not their soul mate, because they have yet to develop a soul. An ounce of integrity would give them backbone enough to divorce and admit they made a mistake because they are human.


OP- don’t focus on yourself, focus on your kids and hobbies. Your family is not the same as it was or as you envisioned, but they are still your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else experience a lack of feelings after their spouse’s affair? I have anger, but nothing else. Sex is blah, joy is gone, desire for interaction has left me. She is no longer in my thoughts and it has been years, but passion for life has been replaced with a void. I’m thinking about skydiving to maybe feel again, but I don’t really know anyone in a similar situation.

Sounds like classic depression to me. Have you talked to anyone about this? Medication or therapy could help. I personally think the reinvention approach that another poster mentioned is the best. Build yourself back up from the ground up. Be your authentic self. However that may look like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a partner I cared so deeply about. I always knew people cheated and I expected it.

so sad. this is what I fear my kids will think about life after their dad abandoned us for a mistress.
I grew up in a healthy home with secure attachments to my family and a true belief and conviction that marriage was a commitment forever. It was nice to have complete trust in people. Very sadly, my husband destroyed safety, trust and security for me and our kids for life. Even our friends are shaken by his betrayal.
Adultery/affair/abandonment is one of the worst things in life you can do to a family

Oh grow up. Look in the mirror and think about why your husband moved on. Take some responsibility for your shortcomings.

That especially hogwash for his relationship with the kids. If you don’t embrace joyfully your ex-husband’s former mistress, now girlfriend, then you’re undermining your kids. The kids love you, their father, and their eventual stepmother. Or they SHOULD, unless you poison the relationship because the kids are afraid to hurt your feelings. Then what kind of weaklings will the kids be when they grow up? Wallowing in empathy for everyone else rather than taking care of their own business first.

Let the kids be kids, kids who love their mother AND their father.

Hahah, no. Not that poster. But no. The man damaged the kids. The woman shouldn't do anything to poison her kids against their dad. But kids aren't stupid. They will know their dad chose some other woman over them. The mom should live honestly, with appropriate boundaries. Coparent as healthfully as possible. But it's not on her to try to repair the damage done by the dad. Dad has to learn to man up for once and do that himself.

[Anonymous]

You said you lost your kids - are they still in your life?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it is just years of depression. I do see the kids, but it all feels temporary and hollow. If I am being honest, I am closer to dead than possibility and I see very little evidence that better is in my future. Cheaters should have to forfeit everything from the life they destroyed, instead of being able to punish us betrayed partners for life. Cheating isn’t a mistake, marriage is the mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any man who stays with a wife after she cheats is delusional.

I can only assume you feel the same when the sexes are reversed.