Not having it all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are on a hedonic treadmill.

"The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.

According to this theory, as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness. Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell coined the term in their essay "Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society" -- Wikipedia

Kind of the old "you can't buy happiness" in a "study".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are on a hedonic treadmill.

"The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.

According to this theory, as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness. Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell coined the term in their essay "Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society" -- Wikipedia

Op here. Best comment. A few of you above also had apt things to say. Thank you.

I can observe ourselves from the outside, and it’s like a computer/phone game. Upgrade the person, the house, the stuff over time.

We’re not that bad. I don’t relate to people who drop $300 at target on pillows or new lamps or whatever. We have systems for our groceries, limited eating out, regular household goods—where we don’t overspend.

I don’t think we’re abnormal from others, I think a lot of people are like us. If you relate, say so.

[Anonymous]

What do you want, OP?

I thought you were saying that the prices of things have gone up so much.

Are you actually saying it’s your appetite for more and more expensive things that has increased?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We don’t have good margins on income - needs - need to save. There’s not a lot of savings, but enough.

Sometimes the $2500 is a home improvement that we put off. So some of it is a gray area between “needs and wants.” Like there is a porch problem I think we can solve with $600 or we could do it a little better and spend $2,000.

Things like that. And it’s hard to see others living with wider margins. I recognize we are doing better than others we know.

And I meant to add. Gifts are hard right now. I don’t want my kids to spend $70 at target on gifts for my birthday. There’s almost nothing I really want or need.

This is desirable. It means you are maturing. I reached this point in my late 20s after I got my first, and so far only, house set up with furnishings.

Have a nice birthday meal and enjoy the loving companionship of your happy family.

[Anonymous]

What do you truly care about OP? Identify what is most important to you and spend there, while ruthlessly cutting everything else. I imagine part of your unhappinesss is not knowing the difference and assuming all things are equally important to you in terms of how you spend money (and time).

[Anonymous]

I wish I was rich too, OP. I have a 500$ or 3500$ wishlist and I can’t even afford the $50 or the 100$. It sucks I get it.