Not having it all

[Anonymous]

It used to be things I wanted (on a wishlist) cost $100.

And then $150.

Now it’s like $2500 or $500, depending.

We aren’t rich, but we have everything we need. Every once in a while, we buy the $2500 thing, or $500 (furniture, vacation, gadget or tool).

But it’s starting to feel like I no longer want anything at $20, or $100. Not worth it. And yet, we can’t afford $2500.

-signed, Making peace with having our needs and not having it all

[Anonymous]

This post makes no sense. Are you saying you like $500 vacations? Because those can’t be very good….

[Anonymous]

You said you do sometimes buy the $2500 thing. So what are you complaining about? That you can't buy EVERY $2500 thing you desire?

Your problem is lifestyle creep. Instead of keeping expenses in a reasonable place as you become wealthier, you allow every part of your life to get more expensive. It's good to know what parts are worth spending money on and what are not. I will give you hint though, The Things are not worth it. Go for financial security and experiences.

[Anonymous]

Op here. We don’t have good margins on income - needs - need to save. There’s not a lot of savings, but enough.

Sometimes the $2500 is a home improvement that we put off. So some of it is a gray area between “needs and wants.” Like there is a porch problem I think we can solve with $600 or we could do it a little better and spend $2,000.

Things like that. And it’s hard to see others living with wider margins. I recognize we are doing better than others we know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We don’t have good margins on income - needs - need to save. There’s not a lot of savings, but enough.

Sometimes the $2500 is a home improvement that we put off. So some of it is a gray area between “needs and wants.” Like there is a porch problem I think we can solve with $600 or we could do it a little better and spend $2,000.

Things like that. And it’s hard to see others living with wider margins. I recognize we are doing better than others we know.

And I meant to add. Gifts are hard right now. I don’t want my kids to spend $70 at target on gifts for my birthday. There’s almost nothing I really want or need.

[Anonymous]

This is such a stupid post.

[Anonymous]

Then don’t ask for it or don’t get it.
Simple.

[Anonymous]

You need to invest, not save. Skip the next $2500 purchase and use it to learn to invest.
I regularly use 10% in the market within days. You don't see me shopping for anything. It's just no appealing to me after decades.
Price go up because government in printing money. Your house and investments probably went up too (so did taxes on both), but you don't mention that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We don’t have good margins on income - needs - need to save. There’s not a lot of savings, but enough.

Sometimes the $2500 is a home improvement that we put off. So some of it is a gray area between “needs and wants.” Like there is a porch problem I think we can solve with $600 or we could do it a little better and spend $2,000.

Things like that. And it’s hard to see others living with wider margins. I recognize we are doing better than others we know.

And I meant to add. Gifts are hard right now. I don’t want my kids to spend $70 at target on gifts for my birthday. There’s almost nothing I really want or need.

You don't realize this is true for most adults?

Most of this on this site are entitled enough to be able to afford a lot of nice "wants". This is why birthday/holiday gifts are a little ridiculous for adults. It's usually a huge waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to invest, not save. Skip the next $2500 purchase and use it to learn to invest.
I regularly use 10% in the market within days. You don't see me shopping for anything. It's just no appealing to me after decades.
Price go up because government in printing money. Your house and investments probably went up too (so did taxes on both), but you don't mention that.

You regularly use 10%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It used to be things I wanted (on a wishlist) cost $100.

And then $150.

Now it’s like $2500 or $500, depending.

We aren’t rich, but we have everything we need. Every once in a while, we buy the $2500 thing, or $500 (furniture, vacation, gadget or tool).

But it’s starting to feel like I no longer want anything at $20, or $100. Not worth it. And yet, we can’t afford $2500.

-signed, Making peace with having our needs and not having it all

It's okay you are the but the typical American who consumed a lot. We all do. Even those of us who save religiously consume a lot. This is what drives our economy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It used to be things I wanted (on a wishlist) cost $100.

And then $150.

Now it’s like $2500 or $500, depending.

We aren’t rich, but we have everything we need. Every once in a while, we buy the $2500 thing, or $500 (furniture, vacation, gadget or tool).

But it’s starting to feel like I no longer want anything at $20, or $100. Not worth it. And yet, we can’t afford $2500.

-signed, Making peace with having our needs and not having it all

You get "high" from spending.
You keep looking for larger and larger "fixes".

Most gambling addictions are similar. It's not the gambling that gets them high, it's the "winning" or "spending" that does the highs and lows in their brain neurotransmitters.

You are going down the road of addiction plain and simple. Check it now or get into debt that could ruin you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I skip buying nice makeup or getting facials. With my savings I am paying plumbers to fix toilets and yard workers to dig up dead azaleas. I can't physically do the latter and am nervous about watching YouTube, trying, then calling plumber after I make it worse.

Hey here is an idea for savvy teens to have summer jobs. If they are handy with household repairs, computer recoveries, etc. have them rum lessons or workshops.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are on a hedonic treadmill.

"The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.

According to this theory, as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness. Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell coined the term in their essay "Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society" -- Wikipedia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We don’t have good margins on income - needs - need to save. There’s not a lot of savings, but enough.

Sometimes the $2500 is a home improvement that we put off. So some of it is a gray area between “needs and wants.” Like there is a porch problem I think we can solve with $600 or we could do it a little better and spend $2,000.

Things like that. And it’s hard to see others living with wider margins. I recognize we are doing better than others we know.

And I meant to add. Gifts are hard right now. I don’t want my kids to spend $70 at target on gifts for my birthday. There’s almost nothing I really want or need.

Maybe start spending on experiences together? Kayaking on your birthday?