Split parents in AL or keep together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that your dad has dementia. Does he still have capacity to make decisions? It’s possible to have dementia but still be considered to have capacity, if it’s early. Are you his POA?

I would call one of those placement agencies - there’s no cost to you and no obligation. I remember there was controversy about A Place for Mom, but they have successfully placed a few of my patients. Owl Be There is another, as is Oasis Senior Advisors (and there are a bunch more). You will tell them your parent’s situation and budget, and they will share any options. They see situations like this all the time.

They are services paid by the nursing home and very bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course they should stay together. Think how much worse your dad would get if he can't find your mom and remember why he's somewhere new and she isn't there!

It may not be possible. Sounds like he needs dementia unit and she needs skilled nursing unit. These could be found in same property but they will be far and few between. The waiting lists for facilities are long, unless you go directly from hospital. I had no luck finding spots for two. I just hired caregivers, added door alarms and ramps, and let them stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again.

Basically, there are only a few options: AL (always private pay, and a spectrum of prices, depending upon whether it’s in a facility or a group home), nursing home (usually after a health crisis, where someone goes to rehab under their Medicare benefit, then transitions to long-term care when they can’t safely return home), caregiver support in the home, or sweat it out as they have been.

With very limited income, there may be a group home that can accommodate both parents - but it’s tricky if someone has dementia and is still mobile.

I doubt they would qualify for assisted living, he needs memory unit and she needs nursing care