Have you ever seen a mass exodus out of a Catholic primary to go to a different Catholic primary?

[Anonymous]

Power-tripping busybody SAHMs trying to get someone fired... or else we'll all leave!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL says she’s trying to move my nieces to a Catholic primary much further from their home. But they’re not even sure they can get in because dozens of parents are doing the same thing. But what she described as the reason just sounds sort of vague and busy body-ish. Almost like she was echoing what other parents are saying.

Instead of being a few blocks from school they’re going to be 25 minutes door to door.

If that many parents are leaving wouldn’t or shouldn’t that generate an urgent response from leadership before they actually leave?

Which parochial?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve seen that. It’s the kind of thing that happens from time to time in parish schools and in k-8s. It just takes a few parents who are mad at the parish priest for being too conservative or liberal or think their 3rd grade boy doesn’t have enough good soccer players in their grade and “needs athletic peers” or someone whose fraternity brother is talking about how much better St. Whoever’s HS admissions results are. And sometimes it’s driven by adult socializing and clannishness. Then suddenly 3 families are moving each with 3 kids and then 3 more and before you know it a few grades have lost a bunch of kids and siblings. It wasn’t as common when I was a kid because people were more tied to parishes and priests stuck around forever and so the vibe of a school didn’t change from year to year.

A lot of this is way too personal for leadership to even address.

This is plausible. Where I live priests get shuffled around every couple of years to avoid the people getting too attached (make it make sense ). Every priest brings a completely new vibe and usually replaces the principal to one who meshes with them. So it's impossible to find a school you like and be confident it won't change in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve seen that. It’s the kind of thing that happens from time to time in parish schools and in k-8s. It just takes a few parents who are mad at the parish priest for being too conservative or liberal or think their 3rd grade boy doesn’t have enough good soccer players in their grade and “needs athletic peers” or someone whose fraternity brother is talking about how much better St. Whoever’s HS admissions results are. And sometimes it’s driven by adult socializing and clannishness. Then suddenly 3 families are moving each with 3 kids and then 3 more and before you know it a few grades have lost a bunch of kids and siblings. It wasn’t as common when I was a kid because people were more tied to parishes and priests stuck around forever and so the vibe of a school didn’t change from year to year.

A lot of this is way too personal for leadership to even address.

So the family would presumably begin attending Mass at the new further away school/church too?

Ha. Briefly and for long enough to be considered for admission, and/or they just do double envelopes and call it a day. I say this as someone from a long line of double envelope people…

What's double envelopes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've seen it. A lot depends on the principal - a bad one can really wreck a Catholic primary school, and sometimes you get one.

A lot of families, including us, left our parochial school due to an awful principal who wouldn’t do anything about bad teachers and generally had the type of leadership style that resulted in a miserable, joyless school. We left for an Episcopal school that is far superior in every way. Other families left for other parishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've seen it. A lot depends on the principal - a bad one can really wreck a Catholic primary school, and sometimes you get one.

If a headmaster is so bad that allegedly dozens of parents are leaving, how would that not be addressed immediately by church leadership (and school board?)? Seems like a massive blow to small parish school's budget. Or has the Church just seen enough of these busy-body mom fueled coup attempts and they just ignore them and let them pass?

Parochial schools don't have headmasters. Always principals.

Am aware of a school where there was a tight group of active families with a long history in the parish who clashed with a new priest and the families all left at the end of the year for another parochial school. It was 20+ kids but with a school population of 170ish at the time, it was a big hit and the school never really recovered. Part of it was that these were white families at a time of significant racial transformation to a majority black school but the families had been committed to the school till the fight with the priest. After they left, no new white families enrolled and the school lingered a few more years as an all black school before being closed by the archdiocese. Final enrollment was maybe 110-120 at most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve seen that. It’s the kind of thing that happens from time to time in parish schools and in k-8s. It just takes a few parents who are mad at the parish priest for being too conservative or liberal or think their 3rd grade boy doesn’t have enough good soccer players in their grade and “needs athletic peers” or someone whose fraternity brother is talking about how much better St. Whoever’s HS admissions results are. And sometimes it’s driven by adult socializing and clannishness. Then suddenly 3 families are moving each with 3 kids and then 3 more and before you know it a few grades have lost a bunch of kids and siblings. It wasn’t as common when I was a kid because people were more tied to parishes and priests stuck around forever and so the vibe of a school didn’t change from year to year.

A lot of this is way too personal for leadership to even address.

So the family would presumably begin attending Mass at the new further away school/church too?

Ha. Briefly and for long enough to be considered for admission, and/or they just do double envelopes and call it a day. I say this as someone from a long line of double envelope people…

What's double envelopes?

In order to officially be part of a parish, you register with the office and get a set of collection envelopes to put your mass offering in every week (now most people donate online, but same idea). Parish registration is important for things like sacraments (First Communion, funerals, etc.) and discounted school tuition. Sometimes people have ties to one parish because of where they grew up or a neighborhood where they first moved after a relocation or for cultural reasons, but another parish is more practical for things like school or mass attendance. So people register in two parishes and donate to both so they can be considered active parishioners. Officially I think you’re not supposed to do it, but priests generally don’t care.

In my case, we belong to one parish but my DD wanted to make her first communion in the parish where all her private Catholic school friends belong, so we talked to the priest and joined that parish the year before but maintained our relationship with our old parish.

In my mom’s case, she belongs to one parish in the old neighborhood in NJ and another one in the suburb where she lives now. She wants her funeral to be in her old parish which is very aligned with our ethnic heritage.

I have friends who do it because their home parish doesn’t have a school but they want their kids to be part of a Catholic school and the parish community around it. They don’t do it just for the tuition discount because they would get that anyway since their parish doesn’t have a school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've seen it. A lot depends on the principal - a bad one can really wreck a Catholic primary school, and sometimes you get one.

If a headmaster is so bad that allegedly dozens of parents are leaving, how would that not be addressed immediately by church leadership (and school board?)? Seems like a massive blow to small parish school's budget. Or has the Church just seen enough of these busy-body mom fueled coup attempts and they just ignore them and let them pass?

In the school I'm familiar with the school did ultimately make changes and replace the principal, but even a few years of poor leadership can result in an exodus of families before the administration reacts. The bureaucracy moves slowly.

[Anonymous]

It’s incredible difficult to recruit Catholic school administrators and teachers. You can’t fire leadership just because a small clique of middle aged unreformed sorority girls want to throw their husbands’ muscle and money around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It happens.

+1

[Anonymous]

Spoiling the nest with a manufactured grievance to rationalize leaving for a less diverse, more affluent k-8 school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL says she’s trying to move my nieces to a Catholic primary much further from their home. But they’re not even sure they can get in because dozens of parents are doing the same thing. But what she described as the reason just sounds sort of vague and busy body-ish. Almost like she was echoing what other parents are saying.

Instead of being a few blocks from school they’re going to be 25 minutes door to door.

If that many parents are leaving wouldn’t or shouldn’t that generate an urgent response from leadership before they actually leave?

Which parochial?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they heard the parish is consolidating schools and they want to get into the "good" one before everyone knows what's happening. That happened at my old school. People "in the know" only told the people they wanted.

100% this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spoiling the nest with a manufactured grievance to rationalize leaving for a less diverse, more affluent k-8 school.

Translation = leaving for a better school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoiling the nest with a manufactured grievance to rationalize leaving for a less diverse, more affluent k-8 school.

Translation = leaving for a better school

Maybe, maybe not, maybe just marginally. What data are they using to make that determination? Skin color of the kids, luxury cars at pickup and houses the families reside in? What triggers them into leaving is too many lower class minority kids showing up at their current school and they don’t want their son or daughter in proximity to them. A single spirited minority kid in their kid’s class becomes a blown out of proportion crisis. Suddenly all the teachers are terrible, the principal won’t expel kids quick enough, and that other, whiter school 20 minutes away is perceived to be higher status and a “superior learning environment.” Loving devout modest Catholics though, right.