Have you ever seen a mass exodus out of a Catholic primary to go to a different Catholic primary?

[Anonymous]

My SIL says she’s trying to move my nieces to a Catholic primary much further from their home. But they’re not even sure they can get in because dozens of parents are doing the same thing. But what she described as the reason just sounds sort of vague and busy body-ish. Almost like she was echoing what other parents are saying.

Instead of being a few blocks from school they’re going to be 25 minutes door to door.

If that many parents are leaving wouldn’t or shouldn’t that generate an urgent response from leadership before they actually leave?

[Anonymous]

We’ve seen that. It’s the kind of thing that happens from time to time in parish schools and in k-8s. It just takes a few parents who are mad at the parish priest for being too conservative or liberal or think their 3rd grade boy doesn’t have enough good soccer players in their grade and “needs athletic peers” or someone whose fraternity brother is talking about how much better St. Whoever’s HS admissions results are. And sometimes it’s driven by adult socializing and clannishness. Then suddenly 3 families are moving each with 3 kids and then 3 more and before you know it a few grades have lost a bunch of kids and siblings. It wasn’t as common when I was a kid because people were more tied to parishes and priests stuck around forever and so the vibe of a school didn’t change from year to year.

A lot of this is way too personal for leadership to even address.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It happens.

[Anonymous]

And to confirm, yes, it’s always for vague and busybody-ish reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL says she’s trying to move my nieces to a Catholic primary much further from their home. But they’re not even sure they can get in because dozens of parents are doing the same thing. But what she described as the reason just sounds sort of vague and busy body-ish. Almost like she was echoing what other parents are saying.

Instead of being a few blocks from school they’re going to be 25 minutes door to door.

If that many parents are leaving wouldn’t or shouldn’t that generate an urgent response from leadership before they actually leave?

Maybe just let your sister in law determine what is best for her children? Why are you involved? Talk about busybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to confirm, yes, it’s always for vague and busybody-ish reasons.

“Always” is a stretch. It’s an enormous upheaval for any family to make such a decision and I doubt it is being done lightly. I’d have to imagine there are reasons - legitimate to that family- making the change. Do you know ANYONE that would voluntarily be driving all that extra time for years to come if they didn’t feel the need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to confirm, yes, it’s always for vague and busybody-ish reasons.

It sort of sounded like a coup d'état to me. Either axe the leader or we all go. Plus a FAMO if a cluster of their parent friend group goes to the other school.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they heard the parish is consolidating schools and they want to get into the "good" one before everyone knows what's happening. That happened at my old school. People "in the know" only told the people they wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve seen that. It’s the kind of thing that happens from time to time in parish schools and in k-8s. It just takes a few parents who are mad at the parish priest for being too conservative or liberal or think their 3rd grade boy doesn’t have enough good soccer players in their grade and “needs athletic peers” or someone whose fraternity brother is talking about how much better St. Whoever’s HS admissions results are. And sometimes it’s driven by adult socializing and clannishness. Then suddenly 3 families are moving each with 3 kids and then 3 more and before you know it a few grades have lost a bunch of kids and siblings. It wasn’t as common when I was a kid because people were more tied to parishes and priests stuck around forever and so the vibe of a school didn’t change from year to year.

A lot of this is way too personal for leadership to even address.

Far easier to spread drama and organize an exodus or coup with social media and parent group chats. Twenty years ago you might not know a family transferred out until school was back in session in late August and their kid wasn’t your kid’s classmate anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve seen that. It’s the kind of thing that happens from time to time in parish schools and in k-8s. It just takes a few parents who are mad at the parish priest for being too conservative or liberal or think their 3rd grade boy doesn’t have enough good soccer players in their grade and “needs athletic peers” or someone whose fraternity brother is talking about how much better St. Whoever’s HS admissions results are. And sometimes it’s driven by adult socializing and clannishness. Then suddenly 3 families are moving each with 3 kids and then 3 more and before you know it a few grades have lost a bunch of kids and siblings. It wasn’t as common when I was a kid because people were more tied to parishes and priests stuck around forever and so the vibe of a school didn’t change from year to year.

A lot of this is way too personal for leadership to even address.

So the family would presumably begin attending Mass at the new further away school/church too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they heard the parish is consolidating schools and they want to get into the "good" one before everyone knows what's happening. That happened at my old school. People "in the know" only told the people they wanted.

Yes, saw something similar during a consolidation. The families who were alumni and felt like the school was “theirs” kept careful control of closure information until they had grabbed all the open seats at the “good” nearby school. And then everyone else was left fighting for scraps while the OG families pretended like it was a fortunate coincidence and they hadn’t gatekept the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve seen that. It’s the kind of thing that happens from time to time in parish schools and in k-8s. It just takes a few parents who are mad at the parish priest for being too conservative or liberal or think their 3rd grade boy doesn’t have enough good soccer players in their grade and “needs athletic peers” or someone whose fraternity brother is talking about how much better St. Whoever’s HS admissions results are. And sometimes it’s driven by adult socializing and clannishness. Then suddenly 3 families are moving each with 3 kids and then 3 more and before you know it a few grades have lost a bunch of kids and siblings. It wasn’t as common when I was a kid because people were more tied to parishes and priests stuck around forever and so the vibe of a school didn’t change from year to year.

A lot of this is way too personal for leadership to even address.

So the family would presumably begin attending Mass at the new further away school/church too?

Ha. Briefly and for long enough to be considered for admission, and/or they just do double envelopes and call it a day. I say this as someone from a long line of double envelope people…

[Anonymous]

Yes, I've seen it. A lot depends on the principal - a bad one can really wreck a Catholic primary school, and sometimes you get one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've seen it. A lot depends on the principal - a bad one can really wreck a Catholic primary school, and sometimes you get one.

If a headmaster is so bad that allegedly dozens of parents are leaving, how would that not be addressed immediately by church leadership (and school board?)? Seems like a massive blow to small parish school's budget. Or has the Church just seen enough of these busy-body mom fueled coup attempts and they just ignore them and let them pass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they heard the parish is consolidating schools and they want to get into the "good" one before everyone knows what's happening. That happened at my old school. People "in the know" only told the people they wanted.

Yes, saw something similar during a consolidation. The families who were alumni and felt like the school was “theirs” kept careful control of closure information until they had grabbed all the open seats at the “good” nearby school. And then everyone else was left fighting for scraps while the OG families pretended like it was a fortunate coincidence and they hadn’t gatekept the whole thing.

That's an interesting theory.