Over Achieving Cousins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With kindness. You sound envious. It's OK to be proud of your kids, not sure what part is the "bragging": if the kid has straight As and is getting recruited, it sounds like facts. Sounds like yours is an underachiever perhaps?

Ehh, the two overachieving chicks I knew turned into sluts in college.

'

This I had a close friend in HS that was a D1 athlete heavily recruited, gorgeous, got great grades in college, two months after she graduated she started dating a guy that was 13 years older than her, 6 months later she marries him and becomes a stay at home to his two kids from previous relationships, living in double-wide in middle of nowhere KY.

[Anonymous]

My kids’ cousins are their best friends. We cheer for their 1500s. They pressure our kids to buckle down and study. However all of this is a very small part of their relationship. When they get together, they turn into little kids. They build forts, play tag, sit around a fire pit, talk about their fears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With kindness. You sound envious. It's OK to be proud of your kids, not sure what part is the "bragging": if the kid has straight As and is getting recruited, it sounds like facts. Sounds like yours is an underachiever perhaps?

Predictable DCUM response, likely from someone who brags incessantly and can’t stand the idea that she may be perceived as insufferable.

+1000

DCUM is insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compared to your kids.

Say your kid is a solid B student, non athlete, but pretty great kid all around and their cousin is a straight A /500 scholar getting recruited by several D1 schools.

How do you handle the constant bragging?

You ignore it. Well, you can say “yay” or whatever, but repeat to yourself “my kid is happy, healthy, and thriving. They are well balanced, well fed, abs well
Loved. I don’t need to compete because life is not a competition”.

Stop viewing this as overachieving just because your kid isn’t doing the same. They are both achieving. And just because their parents are telling you things doesn’t make it bragging, but I don’t know the context.

I have a kid who is a solid B kid. She literally is happy, healthy, well liked, and all around solid. Not A solid, but her happiness isn’t about being the best. There’s literally nothing she’s not good enough at, including being a great person and friend. Being a B student isn’t a failure, especially when they’re a great person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Compared to your kids.

Say your kid is a solid B student, non athlete, but pretty great kid all around and their cousin is a straight A /500 scholar getting recruited by several D1 schools.

How do you handle the constant bragging?

You ignore it. Well, you can say “yay” or whatever, but repeat to yourself “my kid is happy, healthy, and thriving. They are well balanced, well fed, abs well
Loved. I don’t need to compete because life is not a competition”.

Stop viewing this as overachieving just because your kid isn’t doing the same. They are both achieving. And just because their parents are telling you things doesn’t make it bragging, but I don’t know the context.

I have a kid who is a solid B kid. She literally is happy, healthy, well liked, and all around solid. Not A solid, but her happiness isn’t about being the best. There’s literally nothing she’s not good enough at, including being a great person and friend. Being a B student isn’t a failure, especially when they’re a great person.

Just wanted to add - there are things she is excellent at, but she isn’t willing to give up the whole of her to devote all her energy to that. She’s been that way since birth, and I don’t think it’s a bad way to be. She’s her own person, unapologetically, and man, if she can keep that, she’s going to have a really good life.

[Anonymous]

you stop being competitive with your siblings kids and start being happy for their achievements.

[Anonymous]

We are lucky to have healthy and happy kids who have achieved success in high school and college and beyond. We are extremely proud but are careful not to brag and celebrate our nieces and nephews wins. Just be happy and wish the best for your family.

[Anonymous]

How is this overachieving? They are achieving and yours is not. Teach your kid better values.

[Anonymous]

I have two cousins, both of whom were over-achievers, and my aunt's bragging used to drive us all nuts. But we are all grown up now, and one of the high achievers became a brain surgeon while the other became a drunk who blames his parents and sibling rivalry for all his problems. Meanwhile I'm having a low drama, perfectly nice life. In the end it all evens out and everyone gets their share of misery and failure. Let them be happy, be happy for them, and hopefully they'll do the same for you when you're the one on top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compared to your kids.

Say your kid is a solid B student, non athlete, but pretty great kid all around and their cousin is a straight A /500 scholar getting recruited by several D1 schools.

How do you handle the constant bragging?

You feel happy for them and avoid comparisons. Don't let your insecurity become the main force in this relationship. If it really bothers you, communicate it to them that it does.

[Anonymous]

I was an overachiever in my teens and twenties but have been very average since then. Some of my overachieving peers are doing great things but so are some of my mediocre peers. I'm happy in my life and it doesn't bither me much. We've different priorities in life.

[Anonymous]

How about just be supportive of everyone? and celebrate their achievements?

It helps to have successful role models to look up to. Don’t minimize it, but also never compare them or say why can’t you be more like Mary

[Anonymous]

I am 54 and just had a talk with my mom about how she is not the reason my sister and I turned out "better" than some of the cousins.
She is unbearable about how she raised us right, taught us everything, heck, she poured books into our brains all by herself!
My mom is truly awful in some aspects, and keeps saying how her sisters raised their sons poorly. No, Mom, we were smart and not problematic to start with. Maybe her beating the crap out of me had something to do with us never getting a B!
The question is, are your cousins and relatives unbearable in their praise of their kids, or are you just observing and comparing it yourself?
If they are not unbearable and you are just noticing, the fault lies with you for comparing your kids and not seeing how wonderful they are in many ways. I am sure they have many great qualities.
If your relatives are braggarts, they are at fault and unbearable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With kindness. You sound envious. It's OK to be proud of your kids, not sure what part is the "bragging": if the kid has straight As and is getting recruited, it sounds like facts. Sounds like yours is an underachiever perhaps?

Ehh, the two overachieving chicks I knew turned into sluts in college.

I don't understand why are they sluts and why is that an issue? If they were men sleeping around, would you have an issue? They slept around and so what? Why are you such a horrible human being?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With kindness. You sound envious. It's OK to be proud of your kids, not sure what part is the "bragging": if the kid has straight As and is getting recruited, it sounds like facts. Sounds like yours is an underachiever perhaps?

Ehh, the two overachieving chicks I knew turned into sluts in college.

I don't understand why are they sluts and why is that an issue? If they were men sleeping around, would you have an issue? They slept around and so what? Why are you such a horrible human being?

The PP is the type of person that trolls message boards to s*** on other people. It's probably due to low self esteem.
If you visit and participate in enough boards, you recognize this type, especially on anonymous boards.