Moving forward after abusive marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP How are you going to live with yourself knowing that your 4 year old will continue to experience emotional abuse half of the time?

trolls out!

NP Not a troll post. I am in a similar situation but DH acts similarly albeit at more diluted levels, towards my child. I stay to protect said child and spend as much time with them.

You’re not protecting your child. You’re showing them an unhealthy relationship and that’s what they’ll get into when they’re older. Leaving is hard and it’s super hard leaving your kids with the ex 50% of the time (blame it on our courts), but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your child. They’ll see that they shouldn’t put up with that kind of treatment.

+1 Rather than stress/eggshells 100% of the time, they will have harmony/peace/safety 50% of the time, and they will be able to count on it, and have that good example for themselves.

I asked an abusive spouse to leave. It was the best decision I ever made for my kids. Now, they are in college, successful, happy, healthy adults. They would have been basket cases had I remained in a relationship with their dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have only one side of the story here

On behalf of every woman who has left a physically, verbally or emotionally abusive relationship, drop dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP How are you going to live with yourself knowing that your 4 year old will continue to experience emotional abuse half of the time?

trolls out!

NP Not a troll post. I am in a similar situation but DH acts similarly albeit at more diluted levels, towards my child. I stay to protect said child and spend as much time with them.

After a certain age you won’t be able to protect your child any longer. It’s better to prepare them. They will figure it out eventually.

[Anonymous]

Time, space, and therapy makes things better.

As for telling others, I didn’t unless it was very relevant to the situation, and then I kept it vague: “we had a high conflict divorce”, or “there was domestic violence in our marriage,” or “I have a restraining order”. But I didn’t go into details. People understood.