rehearsal dinner planning

[Anonymous]

They gave you a suggestion. You didn’t want it. That’s okay, but you can’t commandeer the wedding planner to give you more choices. You already declined the advice.

They are the ones who are local, and they suggested this place. Have you called the restaurant? Said hey I want to bring 65 people on X date? Did they say “walk in and we’ll have no problems?” Or something else?

Your son might have been nicer about how he gave you the answer about the planner, but you sound like the martyr type who is going to get cut out. My MIL is like this. She is constantly in a tiff with my DH about this or that and honestly, I’m not close with her so I just stay out of it. No one is ever going to be offended on your behalf about this stuff.

Chances are good your future DIL said something like “oooo, idk, she’s only contracted for Saturday. Did your mom say anything about Suggestion A? It’s kind of the only place in town” And your son wrote the email that made you “sad.”

[Anonymous]

Got married in DC almost 20 years ago. Local for DH and me but “destination” for our midwestern families. In laws offered to host the rehearsal dinner. They told us about what they were willing to spend, we came up with options that were in their budget, we discussed and decided together. I think this is what normal people, who know how to communicate with each other, tend to do.

[Anonymous]

You must have posted in the Adult Children forum because your feelings were hurt (which is fin). But if you start a new post in the food forum: "Restaurant Recommendations for 65 adults in Myrtle Beach" or whatever, you'll almost certainly get some recommendations. Or google the same.

[Anonymous]

Ask on TripAdvisor for the location. Honest. People do that all the time.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it. If you can post on this message board, you have to be capable of googling and finding some restaurants that have rooms you can book for 65 people. It is bizarre that you are posting here instead of doing just that.

[Anonymous]

I’d send them a larger check and let them handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused why you're so hurt by what your son said. You sound so ridiculously over dramatic. And did you call the restaurant yourself? Seems very odd they wouldn't take a reservation for 65 and would rather you all just show up unannounced.

I know, right. Obviously the wedding planner is working on the wedding. I do think it’s NUTS though that all 65 ppl are invited to the rehearsal dinner. In my opinion it should only be the main wedding party and some close family members. Then extend an invitation for everyone to meet afterwards and do drinks and passed apps. Can’t you ask the mother of the bride since they live there? Problem is, you’ll feel pinned down if she suggests something that’s very $$$ or that you may not like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They gave you a suggestion. You didn’t want it. That’s okay, but you can’t commandeer the wedding planner to give you more choices. You already declined the advice.

They are the ones who are local, and they suggested this place. Have you called the restaurant? Said hey I want to bring 65 people on X date? Did they say “walk in and we’ll have no problems?” Or something else?

Your son might have been nicer about how he gave you the answer about the planner, but you sound like the martyr type who is going to get cut out. My MIL is like this. She is constantly in a tiff with my DH about this or that and honestly, I’m not close with her so I just stay out of it. No one is ever going to be offended on your behalf about this stuff.

Chances are good your future DIL said something like “oooo, idk, she’s only contracted for Saturday. Did your mom say anything about Suggestion A? It’s kind of the only place in town” And your son wrote the email that made you “sad.”

Stop projecting your own MIL issues onto OP. It negates your advice.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to get over what your dh said. The planner was hired for the wedding. Dh and I had a planner for our wedding 30 years ago (a relative gifted it to us). We planned the wedding and the rehearsal dinner and the planner provided zero advice on the rehearsal dinner.

That being said, do some googling and calling. I bet the restaurant that doesn’t take reservations may make an exception for a large party.

As a pp said, post in a different forum to ask about ideas for the location. I’m sure you’ll find people who have been there who have ideas. Also, reach out to the bride and her family - you shouldn’t be doing this in a vacuum.

[Anonymous]

What locations probably someone here knows about place..

[Anonymous]

What location, maybe DCUM knows of something.

You would think for a price a section at this restaurant could be reserved. Would be worth a minimum.

[Anonymous]

Call the local visitors bureau and ask for suggestions. That’s what they do (or start with their web site)

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why everyone’s being so harsh to the OP. It’s not a big deal to ask the wedding planner for a few names of restaurants. If she’s worth her price tag, she’ll have a short list at the ready.

[Anonymous]

We used a wedding planner 15 years ago and the contract was very specific about which category of vendors she would be making recommendations for. She was not involved in anyway with the rehearsal dinner. Did you talk to the place they suggested or just assumed because they don't take reservations it wouldn't work. Booking a private party is different from a regular reservation. Just get on google maps and see what restaurants are in the area and start going to websites and calling.

[Anonymous]

Also OP try not thinking of it as a classic rehearsal dinner. They got 65 people to go to a destination and they aree feeding them dinner before the wedding. Perfectly gracious.