Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift

[Anonymous]

We are a Day School family and have been to many, many and have hosted two. First, my kid just wants your kid to show up and celebrate this milestone and my kid hopes to show up and celebrate yours. Second, I couldn’t tell you who gave what and nor could my kids. We gave $36 (multiples of 18-life). For a closer friend we’d give $54. Often the kid has a done a mitzvah project and we’d donate there instead. If the family goes, we likely do $180. Or something smaller plus the mitzvah project donation. Third, My kids wrote thank you cards to everyone—even if they didn’t give a gift—because it was nice of them to be a part of this with us.

Gifts are lovely. But showing up is the key element.

[Anonymous]

If you never have been to one, after the religious component there usually is quite a nice party given by the parents.often with DJ, great good. It's not a Chuck E Cheese dropoff party.

[Anonymous]

$50 gift card for a casual friend; $100 for closer friend; $300 if family is invited

[Anonymous]

For my daughter, all gifts went toward her college fund which is why we don't remember who gave what. She also got some gift cards that she loved, but we didn't love as much! She was appreciative of all gifts, and there was a wide range. Give what you are comfortable giving for a large celebratory gathering. If you don't have extra, don't sweat it!

[Anonymous]

Parent of a recent mitzvah, reading this with interest. I don’t think anyone slammed any post. The initial question was about what was typical. In my experience with two kids, $18 wasn’t typical. There’s nothing wrong with it- and we didn’t care or take note of who gave what and there was zero expectation to bring anything at all. But that wasn’t the question.

[Anonymous]

We do $36 for the random friend we never heard of. 54 for a closer friend. 180 if the whole family is invited.

Do what you’re comfortable with. But if you’re posting here to ask the question about what the norm is, the norm IS more than 18. You can still choose to do what you’re comfortable with.