Stylist for New Teenager

[Anonymous]

It's really hard. They don't know what they want and feel insecure and take it out on you. But they have to find thier own way. If they can find a store they like that helps. If they can find staple bottoms they like (cargo pants, black leggings) and just work on tops, that helps. But mostly they don't know what they like and get frustrated and fuss at you. Nothing you can do. Throwing money at it doesn't he'll because they don't know what they like and only know they want to look different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only heard of stylists for celebrities.

I’ve used a few different low budget ones. I’m the opposite of a celebrity or OP’s daughter. I’m a middle age mom who’s not into style and doesn’t like to shop. There are stylists at several department stores and a variety online. Stitch Fix could be considered one, although it’s a generic computer.

To OP- no, your daughter doesn’t need this. Someone will rip you off and take your money. Let her be, she will find her style with friends at the mall at some point. You might think it looks awful. I don’t like the choices my 14 yo makes but she looks similar to her friends in her clothing choices. She made a lot of clothing changes between 7th and 8th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like OP is frustrated because her DD is wearing clothing that is too small/tight and she wants someone else to help get the message across that it doesn't look good. I don't think a stylist is a terrible idea, but I am guessing the daughter will not be receptive because she will know that mom is just trying to get someone to tell her to stop with the short shorts and crop tops because they are not flattering.

I am not sure how to handle this aside from telling your DD that certain clothing is not appropriate for certain occasions and also floating the idea of a stylist and seeing how receptive she might be.

This is the problem with all the girls looking to TikTok for fashion advice. Those girls are invariably super skinny.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all; there were helpful insights. She does go shopping with friends but will usually come back with nothing because she can’t find anything she feels comfortable in.

The stylist is not about finding “a style” per se, but in helping her feel comfortable with how clothes fit and understanding what to look for. TBH, part of the issue is that I really dislike shopping myself. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shopping with my 13 year old is a nightmare because (1) I am her mom and therefore always wrong, and (2) she is adjusting to her post-pubescent body, which is hard.

I'd love to hire a stylist to give her very basic guidance on things such as what size she is (e.g., she is no longer a 0 or 2) and what colors or general styles work best for her. I'm happy for her to make her own fashion choices but want her to have a sense of confidence when she goes shopping rather than feeling badly/frustrated that the clothes on her Pinterest board (or even those worn by her friends) don't all work for her.

I've never used a stylist before but I assume this is the kind of thing that they do(?). Can anyone recommend one? TIA

Is this for real?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it would be bad to use the free shopper at Nordstrom, but I would save that for back-to-school season. Make it a special treat at 13, then again when she goes to college.

[Anonymous]

When she didn’t fit in a size 0, the store shopper can say, “that brand has been running really small this year. Everyone has had to size up.” Your kid knows you don’t have that information, but she’ll believe the shopper.

Or

She could say, “ don’t get hung up on the size. It’s about fit.” It will carry more weight coming from someone “in fashion”.

The first scenario will solve the problem in the short term. The second scenario will solve the problem permanently.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need a stylist. You need two stylish 17 or18 year olds to take her to the mall. So it feels like an outing. Prep them well to understand that they are to normalize sizing of post pubescent bodies. Let them share the favorite shops. Treat the crew to a fun lunch! Let them drive and pick her up. She will love this. Pay them for their time in cash. Repeat.

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old has a friend with a hard-to-fit body type who apparently does Stitch fix. I had no idea it was an option for tweens / teens.

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old is very stylish and would take this job. Lol. However she often wears things I find objectionably short and tight. That’s always going to be the struggle between girls and their parents! She wears a lot of vintage (2000s and 90s, as well as more recent). I don’t mind because it’s cheap and sustainable and looks great. She wears a lot of jeans- bootcut, baggy, jean skirts and shorts, and either baby tees or romantic lacy tops. Throw in sweats on occasion but not every day.

[Anonymous]

I hired a stylist after I was done having kids and needed to dress my new permanent shape. I'd recommend her but she moved out of the area. I think this is a great idea for older teens to offer!

In the meanwhile, I like the idea of the Nordstrom personal shopper or a trusted aunt or mom-friend.

FWIW, I have had a lot of conversations with my 12 yo about how women's sizes are all over the place, what shapes work for my body (which she's definitely going to inherit) and just generally why what your friends are wearing might not fit you. If you can do it outside the store she might be more receptive, or get that trusted friend to deliver the same messages.

[Anonymous]

This is a great resource to use to help your DD. Good for you OP for seeking this out. Don’t listen to the naysayers.

[Anonymous]

She needs an older teen not a stylist. Pay her and give her some guidance in advance as to helping her pick flattering fits and colors and not too revealing if that’s a concern.

[Anonymous]

Pinterest is great for this.

[Anonymous]

I agree with those that say she should go with older teens. My 15 year old fashionista would love this kind of job, and while she’s a tiny person, has helped dress friends of all sizes.