Stylist for New Teenager

[Anonymous]

Shopping with my 13 year old is a nightmare because (1) I am her mom and therefore always wrong, and (2) she is adjusting to her post-pubescent body, which is hard.

I'd love to hire a stylist to give her very basic guidance on things such as what size she is (e.g., she is no longer a 0 or 2) and what colors or general styles work best for her. I'm happy for her to make her own fashion choices but want her to have a sense of confidence when she goes shopping rather than feeling badly/frustrated that the clothes on her Pinterest board (or even those worn by her friends) don't all work for her.

I've never used a stylist before but I assume this is the kind of thing that they do(?). Can anyone recommend one? TIA

[Anonymous]

I’ve only heard of stylists for celebrities.

[Anonymous]

How about a free personal shopper from Macy’s or Nordstrom?

[Anonymous]

I would find an older girl that is stylish and tactful in your social circle and ask her to come shopping with you and daughter as a stylist. Pay her in a gift card or cash.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to choose some influencers whose style she likes.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you can find who will claim to be a stylist and who will take your money. But I have very strong doubts that this will get you what you want. More likely you'll get an "influencer" who wants to push certain brands, or who is a size 0 and doesn't understand why everyone isn't, or other ways of serving themself rather than your kid.

I'd start by focusing on " I am her mom and therefore always wrong". That is not uncommon, but it's not a natural law or something. Can you try to sit with her and look at what she likes, listen and learn, then use your own experience to help her adapt it to the real world?

I agree that taking an older teen shopping can be helpful. Does she have cousins?

[Anonymous]

A stylist for a 13 year old? No.

[Anonymous]

No. Insanely out of touch. Have her go to the mall with friends with a list of clothes to buy and rough guidelines (budget, occasion). Commit to taking DD to the mall several times over the course of the summer. This is not a hill you want to die on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A stylist for a 13 year old? No.

+1 insane. Just have her watch some tiktok or insta or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A stylist for a 13 year old? No.

+1 insane. Just have her watch some tiktok or insta or something.

+2 a STYLIST? noooo no and no.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a great concept, OP, I just think it will be hard to pull off. I would start with the free personal shoppers at Bloomingdale’s etc. maybe focus on an event where you have more say.

But also, she is 13 and you may just need to give her a budget and hold your tongue while she buys things you think are a mistake.

[Anonymous]

When I turned 13 I started receiving a clothing allowance. I got $50 a month to choose my own clothes (shoes and winter gear excepted). I guess my mom could veto my choices but I don't remember that being a problem. It was great for allowing some freedom of choice, and especially good for learning to budget, avoid instant gratification, save for something special etc.

[Anonymous]

13 year olds shouldn't have stylist only really celebrities do. Anyone who claim to be one for 13 year old is lying.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like OP is frustrated because her DD is wearing clothing that is too small/tight and she wants someone else to help get the message across that it doesn't look good. I don't think a stylist is a terrible idea, but I am guessing the daughter will not be receptive because she will know that mom is just trying to get someone to tell her to stop with the short shorts and crop tops because they are not flattering.

I am not sure how to handle this aside from telling your DD that certain clothing is not appropriate for certain occasions and also floating the idea of a stylist and seeing how receptive she might be.

[Anonymous]

My young teen has a good sense of what she wants based on what her friends and other girls at school are wearing. She will come shopping with me and point out what she wants to wear. She tries things on, I give her my thoughts on the fit, she gets to buy things that are reasonably priced or I take a pic and we see if it goes on sale or can find something similar somewhere else. Now that we have a sense of sizing for the brands she tends to gravitate towards, I can just show her things online and we can order them.