How involved is your child’s father with your teen daughter’s dating life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All immediate family would be meeting any date before they take my daughter out.

That's ridiculous. So your 5 yr old would be kept up past his bedtime to meet a boy coming at 8pm to take a 15 yr old out on a date? A 17 yr old would have to postpone their night out to meet their sister's date? A 12 yr old would be dragged out of her sleepover with friends to come say hi to some random boy? This is stupid.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 daughters and all felt comfortable to talk about boys they like or dating with dh and I.

[Anonymous]

My father, who lived with us, knew absolutely nothing about my friends or boyfriends. He was completely uninterested until I got engaged. Only then did he ask questions and make conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All immediate family would be meeting any date before they take my daughter out.

That's ridiculous. So your 5 yr old would be kept up past his bedtime to meet a boy coming at 8pm to take a 15 yr old out on a date? A 17 yr old would have to postpone their night out to meet their sister's date? A 12 yr old would be dragged out of her sleepover with friends to come say hi to some random boy? This is stupid.

No boy is picking up my 15 year old for the first time at 8 pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All immediate family would be meeting any date before they take my daughter out.

That's ridiculous. So your 5 yr old would be kept up past his bedtime to meet a boy coming at 8pm to take a 15 yr old out on a date? A 17 yr old would have to postpone their night out to meet their sister's date? A 12 yr old would be dragged out of her sleepover with friends to come say hi to some random boy? This is stupid.

No boy is picking up my 15 year old for the first time at 8 pm.

+1
Also, the siblings would be the first in line to grill a potential date to see if they are up to standards

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old isn’t dating but we have a policy that she can tell either of us something and ask that we keep it to ourselves and, if she doesn’t feel comfortable with that, to tell a trusted adult (we’ve discussed who those adults might be). When she confides in me about things I’ll ask “can I get dad’s perspective?” This might change with time, but I want our girls to share information with us more than I want to make sure we both know what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Your child has two parents. Yes, talk to him and agree upon rules and boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All immediate family would be meeting any date before they take my daughter out.

That's ridiculous. So your 5 yr old would be kept up past his bedtime to meet a boy coming at 8pm to take a 15 yr old out on a date? A 17 yr old would have to postpone their night out to meet their sister's date? A 12 yr old would be dragged out of her sleepover with friends to come say hi to some random boy? This is stupid.

No boy is picking up my 15 year old for the first time at 8 pm.

My 15 year old boy will not be subjected to this. They also would not be going out on a date at 8 pm without a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All immediate family would be meeting any date before they take my daughter out.

That's ridiculous. So your 5 yr old would be kept up past his bedtime to meet a boy coming at 8pm to take a 15 yr old out on a date? A 17 yr old would have to postpone their night out to meet their sister's date? A 12 yr old would be dragged out of her sleepover with friends to come say hi to some random boy? This is stupid.

No boy is picking up my 15 year old for the first time at 8 pm.

My 15 year old boy will not be subjected to this. They also would not be going out on a date at 8 pm without a parent.

You would expect a 15 yr old to go on a date WITH a parent? Are you Amish or something?

[Anonymous]

Nada, zilch. My husband and daughter don’t talk at all about her dating life.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I had no idea people still thought this way.

My children, regardless of gender, choose who they want to date. We meet those people because we love our children and are interested in their lives, so we enjoy meeting their friends and romantic interests. We do not meet them to vet them in some bizarre masculine intimidation ritual.

Yes, OP, I would share that information with my husband, because we are partners in parenting and he wouldn’t use the information to embarrass, tease, or control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is pretty clueless and I think he prefers it that way. My daughter (17) has dated a few boys but it takes him awhile to catch on bc she tends to be friends with these boys first. I don’t tell him much bc even when I mention this friend or that most of the time he can’t remember who is who. They are just the teenage hoard that comes over to him.

Mine too but it also seems like willful ignorance. Do you feel compelled for you and DH to “get to know” the boyfriend and his parents as well?

[Anonymous]

No dating from K-12. Allowed to have friends of opposite sex in group settings. Lots of socialization, working together etc. No crazy party, no mixed sleepovers, no purposeless loitering together.

My kids knew to blame me for being too strict to get out of any opposite sex situation they did not want to be in.

Both of my kids started dating in college. Both married to super achievers and good people, very similar to them. Both married to people outside our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nada, zilch. My husband and daughter don’t talk at all about her dating life.

Is the boy allowed to come over? Hang out with the family? How does this work when the dad doesn’t want to acknowledge that his daughter is dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nada, zilch. My husband and daughter don’t talk at all about her dating life.

This but it’s just because DH is clueless. He’s still asking about Jane and if they ever hang out. Jane was a close friend in 2nd grade. He’s completely oblivious to who her current friends are and even though he’s around and “listening” he doesn’t seem to remember. He will be involved if anything ever gets serious with the kids. If you ask him, he would say our 17 yo son has never been on a date and that’s not true either. He’s just clueless to how dating looks now.

My father was similar. He would make some stupid jokes how boys coming around would be scared of him but he was a generally a nice guy who had no idea when the big groups or acquaintances at our house were friends or more. Just oblivious. My mom was more observant.