My 14-year-old DS does not socialize

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what are his school friends and the teammates he gets along with doing after school and on the weekends? Are they all shooting hoops and playing video games by themselves too?

Many early teen boys lack the social skills to develop friendships. It starts with making plans to hang out outside school. He might need your help.

+1

[Anonymous]

It's normal. Not every kid wants to socialise. Sometimes they just don't click with those around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what are his school friends and the teammates he gets along with doing after school and on the weekends? Are they all shooting hoops and playing video games by themselves too?

Many early teen boys lack the social skills to develop friendships. It starts with making plans to hang out outside school. He might need your help.

+1

+2. My DS is just like this. He was much more social in elementary school but seems to be more reserved and hesitant in middle school. He only feels comfortable connecting with a few kids from school. We have to force him to come out with us.

[Anonymous]

What's he going to do all summer? More of the same? He needs to get out. Come up with some volunteer suggestions. For example, help out at Bible camp, help at the library, volunteer at a retirement center. I would insist on 20-25 hours a week doing SOMETHING.

[Anonymous]

Mine was like that in MS, then he went out to his first party on like the last days of 8th grade. He then started going out a bit more in HS but it ebbs and flows. He maybe was out with friends 5 times total in these years. I decided to let it go.
Hopefully HS will bring new experiences for your DS as well

[Anonymous]

I have a 4th grader who seems headed in this direction. He is happy to hang out with friends from early childhood (I.e. my friends' kids) but he has not made any friends at school who he would like to see outside school. I do limit the video games which he only plays with his brother anyway.
I told him his homework for the summer was to invite one kid from school over and he groaned like I was asking for the moon. I always keep them busy with outside stuff, beach and so on but as he gets older he's going to be sick of his mom dictating every day.

[Anonymous]

This is my 8th grader except he desperately wants to have plans. The group of kids that he sits with at lunch and occasionally hangs out with afterschool regularly ghost him on the weekends. He reaches out and is always rejected. And then eventually he finds out that some combination of the group hung out and didn’t invite him. We’ve been encouraging him all year to nuture other friendships but he is unwilling to consider or try. It’s really heartbreaking. Hoping things improve in HS.

[Anonymous]

When he gets his license and a car he will likely start going out and hanging out at the cool spots and meet some people.