Is this good?

[Anonymous]

I've worked with people who went to law school because their parents told them to. It was awful for them and me.

[Anonymous]

It's fine.

I don't plan on paying for my kids' college tuition. I will help them with their schoolwork so they can get a scholarship, help them apply for scholarships, help them earn money, help them go over loans and find the best one. I want them to learn to evaluate the value of something vs the cost, and will it bring a return on the investment. I want them to learn to work for the things they want, not just get a handout.

[Anonymous]

My parents demanded that I go to the career center first year and formulate a plan. They let me major in psychology, but I was required to plan for an additional degree in something employable. I wasn’t thrilled at the time, but I was so thankful when I was job searching. I think it was a good middle road. I didn’t have the personality for law or medicine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's friend told my DD that her parents will not help her with college unless she goes to law school, medical school or into tech. Do you think this is a good strategy?

They have zero mechanism for enforcing this.
Unless it is to pay out upon med school graduation (that’s a massive check!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't know about "good," but it certainly won't set them up for a healthy relationship with their adult children.

But they're probably equally controlling about so many other things, their kids would probably have distanced themselves from their parents as adults anyway.

+1 this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's fine.

I don't plan on paying for my kids' college tuition. I will help them with their schoolwork so they can get a scholarship, help them apply for scholarships, help them earn money, help them go over loans and find the best one. I want them to learn to evaluate the value of something vs the cost, and will it bring a return on the investment. I want them to learn to work for the things they want, not just get a handout.

Most people don’t consider a proper education a “handout” to your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see no problem with saying you're not paying unless they have a good career plan of what they will do with their degree. My parents said they would pay, but we needed to be working towards a goal. My siblings and I all chose different degrees and have had successful careers, and a great relationship with our parents. It came from a place of "we don't have endless cash, make smart choices", not one of control. I think the framing matters.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's friend told my DD that her parents will not help her with college unless she goes to law school, medical school or into tech. Do you think this is a good strategy?

How old are the kids?
If they are seniors in high school, this is kind of nutty. There are a lot of kids who start out planning to go to med school or into tech that don’t end up actually going.
If they are 9 years old and the parents are just putting this out there, it seems fine.

[Anonymous]

I don't like this suggestion because it's VERY limiting ... there are many other ways to have a good life/career outside of these choices. Because it's overly restrictive the move feels controlling.

At the same time, I think it's fine to have an eye on the overall plan that works toward the goal of the child achieving financial independence.

For our kids we have decided on the "yes AND" strategy, so if someone wants to major in something with a less-solid future I will ask that they double major with something that is more solid.