Is this good?

[Anonymous]

My daughter's friend told my DD that her parents will not help her with college unless she goes to law school, medical school or into tech. Do you think this is a good strategy?

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

What happens if the kid changes their major during college and doesn’t go to post grad? College is already paid for…

[Anonymous]

They will only pay for graduate level degrees but not undergrad? Interesting, this would make the kid work hard to get scholarships for undergrad.

[Anonymous]

It depends on your goal. It's a good strategy if you want to control your child. It's not a good strategy if you care about your child's happiness and want to have a relationship with them into adulthood.

[Anonymous]

But you don't get into/go to law school and med school until you are done/nearly done with your undergraduate degree.
So she might have the intent of doing one of those, but can't actually do it until after the part they say they won't pay for unless she does....it doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

I see no problem with saying you're not paying unless they have a good career plan of what they will do with their degree. My parents said they would pay, but we needed to be working towards a goal. My siblings and I all chose different degrees and have had successful careers, and a great relationship with our parents. It came from a place of "we don't have endless cash, make smart choices", not one of control. I think the framing matters.

[Anonymous]

Nope.
If they can afford it they should help out whatever their child decides to study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happens if the kid changes their major during college and doesn’t go to post grad? College is already paid for…

Right? What are the parents going to do? Sue the kid to pay them back? Or what if the kid DOES go to law school and keeps failing the bar and can't pass it?

[Anonymous]

Do they have experience in any of those practices?

As a lawyer, I encourage young people to think long and hard about law school. It is not a guarantee of a good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see no problem with saying you're not paying unless they have a good career plan of what they will do with their degree. My parents said they would pay, but we needed to be working towards a goal. My siblings and I all chose different degrees and have had successful careers, and a great relationship with our parents. It came from a place of "we don't have endless cash, make smart choices", not one of control. I think the framing matters.

I agree with this.
I got a full ride so my parents didn't have to pay, but my sister majored in "Asian Studies" and my parents put their foot down and told her she had to get a teaching certificate to go with it.
A friend majored in something stupid and her mother was ok with paying for it because, in her words, she was expecting her daughter to get her M.R.S. She wouldn't have let a son major in something silly.

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

any college degree is better than -- no college degree

[Anonymous]

Well, I don't know about "good," but it certainly won't set them up for a healthy relationship with their adult children.

But they're probably equally controlling about so many other things, their kids would probably have distanced themselves from their parents as adults anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:any college degree is better than -- no college degree

LMAO, no. There are tons of worthless degrees. Colleges are just corporations that want money, and many will create the silliest of degrees to get that money.