Not improving/not practice penalty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe wholeheartedly that there is a value to doing things for fun. So I would keep paying for classes the kids enjoy as long as they behave and are attentive in the classes. I am a terrible singer who can’t get any better, but I love singing. Why should I stop taking singing lessons? I love them!

Same!! Are they being a team player at regular practices and games? Do they listen to the coach? Good sportsmanship? Having fun? Of COURSE they should continue. The point of activities isn’t just to be the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It never even occurred to me that kids playing a rec sport would practice outside of, well, practices. I do tell my kids that I will not keep paying for piano lessons if they don't practice, though, and they love piano so they do it. (I hated it as a kid!)

My rec baseball and hockey kid practices all the time because he absolutely loves those sports. Hitting off the tee, tossing a racquet ball against the steps, begging DH to play catch or hit pop ups, rollerblading up and down the street, informal neighborhood street hockey scrimmages, or even just practicing stick handling with a tennis ball. It's all great practice, and it's all self directed because he loves it. Today DH took DS to open skate because DS is out of school and he's getting skating time in when the rink isn't crowded.

Those 7-8-9 year old rec kids who are the best on their teams? It's because they practice.

Yeah, I’m not saying they shouldn’t, it just never occurred to me. Not a sports person.

[Anonymous]

Depends. For sports and dance that they do for fun? They can just go to the lesson/sport. For music we practice daily or there is no point in lessons for me. Even for TKD, we ask the kids to show us the set of moves and how they hold their hands, recite the creed when they were starting.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I think that's too rigid.

Some activities, you can improve without extra practice if you are attentive during class/practice and really make an effort.

Some kids will not improve even with practice if it's just not the right fit for them, or they may improve and then plateau if they aren't receiving the right coaching and guidance.

Also, yes, some activities are simply fun, or good exercise, or teach teamwork, regardless of weather a kid is practicing OR improving. A lot of rec sports are this way. It's a social outlet and gets the kids moving and off screens.

So to me it's just case by case, and the metric is more whether my kid is engaged and putting effort in, and seems to be getting something out of it. Of course expense and my own time also matters, and the more expensive/burdensome the activity, the more I want to see my kid deriving value. But that value does not exclusively need to be constant improvement and lots of outside effort. It just depends.

[Anonymous]

Rec sports are like $100, if you can afford it and your kid enjoys it, keep signing up. For travel sports if they don't practice on their own they will get cut (happened to my 10 year old) so that's the natural consequence. For rec, if they are engaged and enjoying it, who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rec sports are like $100, if you can afford it and your kid enjoys it, keep signing up. For travel sports if they don't practice on their own they will get cut (happened to my 10 year old) so that's the natural consequence. For rec, if they are engaged and enjoying it, who cares.

Almost 200 per season. Not “like $100”

Plus some gear

I say this, anyway, as someone who will pay for it bc I want them in a sport, not inactive.

But for some families it adds up.

[Anonymous]

I loved sports growing up and never got better no matter what I did. My mom didn’t like that and if I wasn’t good at a sport or activity, she would pull me after 1-2 years or even a season. And then I got to MS and remember her criticizing me for never sticking with a thing or being good at anything.

As an adult, it’s a relief to be able to do activities because they are fun, even if I’m not good at them. But there is still the voice in my head planted there by my mom telling me that I’m a waste of everyone’s time and money…

[Anonymous]

Rec sports they can just do for fun without needing to practice.

Things that are expensive or inconvenient they would need to practice to justify the commitment especially as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rec sports are like $100, if you can afford it and your kid enjoys it, keep signing up. For travel sports if they don't practice on their own they will get cut (happened to my 10 year old) so that's the natural consequence. For rec, if they are engaged and enjoying it, who cares.

Almost 200 per season. Not “like $100”

Plus some gear

I say this, anyway, as someone who will pay for it bc I want them in a sport, not inactive.

But for some families it adds up.

Which is why I said "if you can afford it". Rec soccer, flag football, and volleyball were all $125 per session for us. Yes plus uniform and gear, you're right. It's not nothing. But cost doesn't really factor in to it for us.

I actually do think a child should be progressing in skill, but that's because if they are engaged and show up wanting to play, they will naturally get better. It doesn't require outside training. But if you show absolutely no progress I would question the program or my child's fit for it. I've never seen them not learn at least one new thing per season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think that's too rigid.

Some activities, you can improve without extra practice if you are attentive during class/practice and really make an effort.

Some kids will not improve even with practice if it's just not the right fit for them, or they may improve and then plateau if they aren't receiving the right coaching and guidance.

Also, yes, some activities are simply fun, or good exercise, or teach teamwork, regardless of weather a kid is practicing OR improving. A lot of rec sports are this way. It's a social outlet and gets the kids moving and off screens.

So to me it's just case by case, and the metric is more whether my kid is engaged and putting effort in, and seems to be getting something out of it. Of course expense and my own time also matters, and the more expensive/burdensome the activity, the more I want to see my kid deriving value. But that value does not exclusively need to be constant improvement and lots of outside effort. It just depends.

+1

I think it’s more about how engaged they are and how much they really enjoy it. I also think as kids get older they have more options for how they want to spend their time and may not want to commit to a season of a rec sport if it starts to get in the way of other things.

A sport that my DD puts a lot of time and effort into practicing is one that she would prioritize going to a game over going to a birthday party. But one that she’s not as engaged with she would probably choose the party.

[Anonymous]

I’m assuming OP’s kids are elementary aged?

I think OP’s husband is being too narrow. Rec sports and activities at that age serve a few purposes - to keep active, learn a skill, socialize, and be exposed to novel experiences. They are not apprenticeships.

[Anonymous]

it boggles the mind that a parent would pull a kid from a sport because they weren’t good enough. Assuming the kid is enjoying it why would you do this? What else is your kid going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think that's too rigid.

Some activities, you can improve without extra practice if you are attentive during class/practice and really make an effort.

Some kids will not improve even with practice if it's just not the right fit for them, or they may improve and then plateau if they aren't receiving the right coaching and guidance.

Also, yes, some activities are simply fun, or good exercise, or teach teamwork, regardless of weather a kid is practicing OR improving. A lot of rec sports are this way. It's a social outlet and gets the kids moving and off screens.

So to me it's just case by case, and the metric is more whether my kid is engaged and putting effort in, and seems to be getting something out of it. Of course expense and my own time also matters, and the more expensive/burdensome the activity, the more I want to see my kid deriving value. But that value does not exclusively need to be constant improvement and lots of outside effort. It just depends.

I think the question here is the quality of the practice. At least when it comes to music I doubt that a middle or high school student applying the correct practice techniques wouldn’t be able to improve. But in my experience most of my violin teachers did not teach me how to effectively use my practice time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It never even occurred to me that kids playing a rec sport would practice outside of, well, practices. I do tell my kids that I will not keep paying for piano lessons if they don't practice, though, and they love piano so they do it. (I hated it as a kid!)

Kids who enjoy their rec sport play outside of the scheduled practice. They have a basketball hoop or go to the local court. Soccer kids kick the ball around and work on their fancy foot skills. They play informally because they enjoy it.

And how do all these adults think they are experts on what constitutes improvement? If your child has ballet classes they shouldn’t be practicing at home. They need to be with an instructor to ensure every move is correct. Unless you were a dancer you really can’t judge.