Not improving/not practice penalty

[Anonymous]

A mom told me that because her DD is not making improvements and not practicing, so she cancels to register for the next dance session and track running. She only continues if her DD is really passionate and willing to put efforts to practice for improvements.

My children do not practice and do not make much improvements in any rec. sports, but I keep paying money years after years. DH tells me the same thing that do not sign our children up for anything if they don't practice to make improvement, well, I never listen to him. Who's right or who's wrong there?

[Anonymous]

Neither is right - it’s just different values. And/or different willingness and ability to spend on kid activities.

[Anonymous]

Would not work for my kid. “Work”

I mean, if I’m encouraging them, and I don’t do their next registration, then that’s it for the sport. I do not see my kids saying “hm! I guess I’ll pick it up next season.”

Since mine think that they are averse to sports (they’re not), it would only sink them into an entire lack of sports in their life. Aka screens and video games.

Now they’re never going to.. practice.

[Anonymous]

If they don't practice on their own without being told, stop paying for it. They're not going to make any improvement without practice, and some won't make any improvements with practice.

[Anonymous]

I believe wholeheartedly that there is a value to doing things for fun. So I would keep paying for classes the kids enjoy as long as they behave and are attentive in the classes. I am a terrible singer who can’t get any better, but I love singing. Why should I stop taking singing lessons? I love them!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't pay for an expensive activity the kid isn't interested in. If the kid just wants babysitting or hang out, only pay babysitting/hangout prices

[Anonymous]

I think there can be some value is just doing rec sports if your kid won't practice outside of practice as long as they are attentive at practice and games.

But I would not pay for private lessons, clinics, or club sports for a kid who doesn't practice on their own (or with a gentle reminder to practice on their own). No how, no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe wholeheartedly that there is a value to doing things for fun. So I would keep paying for classes the kids enjoy as long as they behave and are attentive in the classes. I am a terrible singer who can’t get any better, but I love singing. Why should I stop taking singing lessons? I love them!

You can sing for free in the shower, you know.

[Anonymous]

Depends on their reasons for wanting to do it. If they want to improve and are frustrated but yet won't practice, I'd probably take a break from paying for it. But if they get good physical exercise from it, learn teamwork, have a good social group, etc., or even just find joy in the activity, I would continue. We try to instill in our kids being involved in activities in part to set them up as adults who have hobbies, physical outlets, etc., not to week college scholarships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe wholeheartedly that there is a value to doing things for fun. So I would keep paying for classes the kids enjoy as long as they behave and are attentive in the classes. I am a terrible singer who can’t get any better, but I love singing. Why should I stop taking singing lessons? I love them!

You can sing for free in the shower, you know.

I like to sing more than the 8 minutes (max) that I shower once a day. And I like to sing more places than just my bathroom.

[Anonymous]

It never even occurred to me that kids playing a rec sport would practice outside of, well, practices. I do tell my kids that I will not keep paying for piano lessons if they don't practice, though, and they love piano so they do it. (I hated it as a kid!)

[Anonymous]

It depends on the activity. There's value to doing something merely because it's fun to pursue hobbies in community with others. Both my kids do sports at that level. I don't expect them to practice outside of organized sessions and I don't expect them to get better. As long as they are enjoying it and engaging during the sessions, I will pay.

On the other hand, when my child stopped wanting to practice his musical instrument, I stopped paying for private lessons. He's welcome to play casually and if he wanted support to play with others, I'd provide that support (he doesn't). But the purpose of lessons is to improve, and that requires practice.

[Anonymous]

I require practice for music lessons but not rec sports. I don't care about improvement, just investment, and if you're going to practice/games that's enough investment for me for sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It never even occurred to me that kids playing a rec sport would practice outside of, well, practices. I do tell my kids that I will not keep paying for piano lessons if they don't practice, though, and they love piano so they do it. (I hated it as a kid!)

My rec baseball and hockey kid practices all the time because he absolutely loves those sports. Hitting off the tee, tossing a racquet ball against the steps, begging DH to play catch or hit pop ups, rollerblading up and down the street, informal neighborhood street hockey scrimmages, or even just practicing stick handling with a tennis ball. It's all great practice, and it's all self directed because he loves it. Today DH took DS to open skate because DS is out of school and he's getting skating time in when the rink isn't crowded.

Those 7-8-9 year old rec kids who are the best on their teams? It's because they practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It never even occurred to me that kids playing a rec sport would practice outside of, well, practices. I do tell my kids that I will not keep paying for piano lessons if they don't practice, though, and they love piano so they do it. (I hated it as a kid!)

My rec baseball and hockey kid practices all the time because he absolutely loves those sports. Hitting off the tee, tossing a racquet ball against the steps, begging DH to play catch or hit pop ups, rollerblading up and down the street, informal neighborhood street hockey scrimmages, or even just practicing stick handling with a tennis ball. It's all great practice, and it's all self directed because he loves it. Today DH took DS to open skate because DS is out of school and he's getting skating time in when the rink isn't crowded.

Those 7-8-9 year old rec kids who are the best on their teams? It's because they practice.

Well, sure. But that doesn't mean that 7, 8, 9 year olds who don't practice and aren't the best on their team shouldn't do it. Your/your child's goal doesn't have to be to be the best.