Two boys close in age: a mistake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, everyone who has twins, boys or girls deals with something similar (I assume), since your post was a bit vague.

My mother was 19, a single mother, with all sorts of problems when she had identical twin boys (my brother and me). I wouldn't have traded my life with my brother for anything. We were a team, whether in goofing off (very good at that), academics (both Phi Beta Kappa in college and went to and succeeded at some of the best grad schools in the country), and we were D1 scholarship athletes who did very well in NCAA competition.

My mother had issues, but she was the anti-DCUM parent. She never complained, never ever hovered, and expected us to have consequences for our actions whatever they were. Very. few rules and put a huge emphasis on being mentally tough and to embrace competition. She did not finish high school and frustrated us at times because she could barely write. But she had no pretenses, and was a salt of the earth person. A great boy mom. She never looked at having twins as a challenge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this in the School and Education forum?

Maybe OP wants to hear about academic implications?

My cousin has sons 18 mos apart. She thinks the academic impact is that they had the same teachers k-5 and were constantly compared to each other. My girls are more than a dozen years apart and had many of the same teachers. They were also constantly compared by school staff.

[Anonymous]

What is close in age?

[Anonymous]

I have twin boys. they are very different and I love it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, my boys are 19 months apart (one year in school) and this is a great reflection

They do tend to “crowd” each other and probably lack space for quiet reflection and focus away from the other, which can have impacts on school performance — not necessarily bad, but you can sort of see how they’d be “better off” w/o the other to deal with. I get it.

We should have had them be two years apart in school, but the second one was advanced for a four year old. That's not a brag. It was totally due to learning things at the same time as his brother. So he learned to read, write, basic math and science early all because they were together. More a a Montessori style learning. It made it easier for us as parents and for our daycare & preschool to keep them together. They absolutely needed more physical, emotional and mental space to grow on their own. We did our best, learning as we went.

Exactly this for us. Younger was nearly as advanced as older (who was also very advanced). We moved from a small Montessori to public school in new state and I spaced them two yrs apart in school starting for 6th and 8th grade. The younger one has a fall birthday so it was still age appropriate. While the grade level material was a total waste, we supplemented at home and school curriculum eventually become to were you could pick your level of rigor. This was the best decision for my younger child I’ve think I’ve made as parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is close in age?

One school year apart

[Anonymous]

It's all a crapshoot. My 2 boys with a 2.5 year age gap can barely stand each other (teens.)

[Anonymous]

I have twin boys and it’s helped their relationship to have them in different high schools although it’s logistically complicated. We have two other sets of older male twins (in 30s and 70s) in our family and they were both very supportive of our boys going this route to give them some space academically and socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and it’s helped their relationship to have them in different high schools although it’s logistically complicated. We have two other sets of older male twins (in 30s and 70s) in our family and they were both very supportive of our boys going this route to give them some space academically and socially.

So happy to hear this - our boys (both twins) will be in different schools this year and I can’t wait.