How did you transition your ADHD kid to getting ready for school independently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. To answer questions: when she gets downstairs, she has breakfast (and if she has time after breakfast, she can play, I'll read to her, etc.). Once she's downstairs, she doesn't go back up--she's dressed, hair done, teeth brushed, etc., before she comes down.

After breakfast, the only think she has to do is put her shoes on (she has slip ons) and run out the door with the backpack I hand her. I'll try adding her list to the bathroom, instead of just having it in the bedroom.

My goal is for her to be able to do all of the upstairs tasks (get dressed, pee, brush teeth, brush hair, make bed) without me having to cue her constantly. Secondarily, my goal is for her to feel responsible for (and proud of) getting herself ready.

You have a motivation problem. Fix that first.

[Anonymous]

I would see if you can move stuff downstairs. I have a toothbrush caddy and hair stuff in the kitchen. That way you may still be reminding her, but you won't be having to go upstairs to do it.

Rather than telling her what to do, as "What's next in your routine" and wait patiently while she thinks about it. She needs to retrieve the memory herself, to learn it.

[Anonymous]

ADHDers love positive reinforcement and rewards. All kids do.

First, get an alarm and put it on the other side of the room. Make sure she is getting 9hrs of sleep. Once she gets up to turn the alarm off, have the list, but the last one should be breakfast and fun. Maybe also add hum your fav song while brushing teeth. Count to 30 seconds while brushing hair. 20 jumping jacks while changing clothes. Each week change it up. Make it more interesting.

Put her rubiks cube and fav book at breakfast. If she completes her steps, she gets those things at breakfast until it’s time to go.

If she does her checklist with less than 2 reminders she gets X after school

If she gets her checklist done 5 days in a row, it’s an ice cream date (or anything that entices her)

Less nagging and more wow, you are doing this, great job!

[Anonymous]

Agree on positive reinforcement but honestly get them to bed earlier

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I woke up/cajoled my kid out of bed most days through HS. Once he was up, he still needed a lot of cueing, it was painful (for all of us.) I tried multiple times for natural consequences without improvement (and the last 2 years he was driving siblings to school so consequences impacted multiple people.) I also tried a reward system when he was younger to no avail.

He is now in college and makes it to all of his classes (his earliest class is 9am) and showers/etc before he goes. His time management still sucks and he is generally late to anything that doesn't impact him directly (ie. he doesn't want to walk in during the middle of class and draw attention to himself so he is on time. But he is always late when we plan to meet somewhere.)

[Anonymous]

She’s really young. Both my kids have ADHD. My daughter has been independently getting ready for school since about 4th grade but still needed prompting at that age because she’d get distracted. By 5th/6th she could get ready for school with timing on her own, including getting up.

My son was able to do this at 17 and his senior year. Before that he needed significant prompting to get up and get ready to do things he was not motivated to do. This included school, doctor appointments, family get togethers. We had a time period of serious school refusal. He had no issues getting up early for his part time job on the weekends. By the end of junior year, maturity kicked in and he was able to get up for things he didn’t want to do.

Your second grader might need help a while longer but she will get there eventually.