Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?

[Anonymous]

he must like toys? is he riding a bike or scooter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.

Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.

[Anonymous]

Scooter
magna tiles
low bed, let him pick the bedding or choose something you know he likes (Batman, dinosaurs, soccer…)
bookshelf, take him to the library and load up with books.
Nighttime pull-ups (if needed)
Toothbrush and toothpaste
The shampoo and soap he usually uses
Towels,
Coloring stuff if he likes that
Pjs
Clothes
Underwear



Good luck Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.

Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.

It’s not understandable. Understandable is someone who is getting handed a baby for the first time and doesn’t know what they need.

If your family were suddenly displaced, couldn’t you go to Target and provision a temporary home? You wouldn’t be on dcum like “what do I need for a 40 year old woman?”

Nobody who has been a semi-active parent needs help making this list. Even my DH, who is intentionally clueless and doesn’t buy any of this stuff, would do fine with this task. He would get the wrong sizes, but he would know the list.

[Anonymous]

The fact you need to ask this validates her having full custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.

Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.

I would bet $1,000,000 she asked him to step up and explicitly expressed her dissatisfaction 100x and he received it as "She's nagging" "Nothing I do is good enough so why bother" "She's impossible to please".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.

Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.

It’s not understandable. Understandable is someone who is getting handed a baby for the first time and doesn’t know what they need.

If your family were suddenly displaced, couldn’t you go to Target and provision a temporary home? You wouldn’t be on dcum like “what do I need for a 40 year old woman?”

Nobody who has been a semi-active parent needs help making this list. Even my DH, who is intentionally clueless and doesn’t buy any of this stuff, would do fine with this task. He would get the wrong sizes, but he would know the list.

At least submit the first draft of the list so random internet mommies don't have to do literally *everything*!

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem to think that since your wife isn’t around to do all your unpaid emotional and logistical labor, you’re just going to rely on everyone else’s wife. This is not a workable solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

Looks like you forgot he needed a dad.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you are being attacked. I get that yesterday probably has you a bit stressed and overwhelmed a bit. Big life changes happening suddenly will do that. Good for you for trying to be prepared so that this can go more smoothly for you and your child.

[Anonymous]

If your son takes any medications, make sure you have them on hand and you know how much and how often to administer. You should have a thermometer, ice pack, bandages, and children’s Tylenol on hand. You’ll need to know your son’s weight to figure out the dose of Tylenol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:car seat
bed
bedding
clothes
dresser/hangers
desk/kid table and kid chair
booster seat
stroller
pull-ups?
books
toys
outdoor toys
plastic dishes
plug protectors, safety gates, childproofing as necessary
baby shampoo, soap, bath toys, etc.
foods he’ll eat

Why do you think he needs a stroller or plastic dishes or safety gates or baby shampoo for a 4 yr old?

You use adult shampoo on a 4 year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you seem to think that since your wife isn’t around to do all your unpaid emotional and logistical labor, you’re just going to rely on everyone else’s wife. This is not a workable solution.

This. I hope this guy was dumb enough to text some of her friends so she has the evidence screenshotted for a judge.

My husband and I both work very hard for our kid, I'm an attorney and the idea I wouldn't know is basic needs, favorite toys, clothes sizes, is a joke. My Dad was a busy physician and he wasn't this clueless about any of this.

[Anonymous]

Op here I wasn't gona post this but she left cause she's been having an affair for a while . She moved in with her ap . She didn't work which was fine cause she took care of our son but I had to work like crazy to keep up her lifestyle. I haven't been thinking the best the last 24 hrs . I was just trying to make sure I didn't miss anything. Thanks everyone for the ideas I know this mostly moms on here but I truly do appreciate you all taking time to give me ideas what to get . Now I guess I start over .

[Anonymous]

You got this! The first few months are a bit of a blur, but it gets better.