H puts me down in front of the kids

He’s tearing you down because he’s unhappy with himself. BTDT. How to you push back against this so your kids know it’s not ok? Do you say anything back to him, in a calm tone? Find a mantra

You can also create a text record of the fact that he’s doing this, since it’s terrible for the kids and he will deny it. Text him later and say “I didn’t like when you said X. It’s not true and it’s bad for the kids that you criticize me in front of them.” He will take the bait and write back, and you’ll have confirmation that he did it. Then screenshot it and email it into a separate email folder. Do this repeatedly. It may not help anything in a divorce, but at the very least you’ll have the record. Because in the divorce he will gaslight you and claim he never did it.

Get out as soon as you can. If you haven’t already, consult an attorney. Why is your husband underemployed/unemployed? Get some text traffic going with him on that. How’s his job search, what efforts is he making, send him job postings to apply to, etc.

report

06/17/2025 23:04

Subject: H puts me down in front of the kids

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:He criticizes everything: my career (lawyer), my looks/style (god forbid teenage DD wears one of my outfits - he thinks it’s awful she should look like me), before the holidays I had half a glass of wine with dinner 3 times a week or so and called me an alcoholic in front of the kids. Things like this, all the time. My job is no worse than his, as he’s unemployed, and I certainly look a lot better than him. I have been described as stylish many times.

Honestly, this post sounds like you had too much to drink. While I do agree divorce is the answer, the outcome might not be what you expect.