has anyone had to re-litigate custody?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

Most after school programs have huge wait list. There is clearly more to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

Most after school programs have huge wait list. There is clearly more to this.

Why would the status of "most" after school program be more relevant that the status of the after school program at these particular children's school?

Also, even if the mom worked in this situation, and even if it was hard to get aftercare, how would not having aftercare responsibility absolve her of the responsibility to let dad know that she wasn't going to be able to get the kids so that he could pick the kids up?

[Anonymous]

Mine huffed and puffed and promised a lot of stuff he never did. I went into it without a lawyer. We got 50/50, but I let him have the kid most days and he got exhausted.
My experience is that they are just mad or hurting, but time will fix that. My second partner completely refused to show me the kid when I left the relationship. I didn't even go to court for safety of the child and myself. Absolutely crazy to think kid belongs to him only. That craziness killed him. I got my kid back 24/7.
Something about not being in control of their own emotions, add some special needs into it and you get a very upset person. Best to back off and watch them boil in their own craziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine huffed and puffed and promised a lot of stuff he never did. I went into it without a lawyer. We got 50/50, but I let him have the kid most days and he got exhausted.
My experience is that they are just mad or hurting, but time will fix that. My second partner completely refused to show me the kid when I left the relationship. I didn't even go to court for safety of the child and myself. Absolutely crazy to think kid belongs to him only. That craziness killed him. I got my kid back 24/7.
Something about not being in control of their own emotions, add some special needs into it and you get a very upset person. Best to back off and watch them boil in their own craziness.

Sounds like something is seriously wrong with you for picking two bad men, having kids and abandoning them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

Most after school programs have huge wait list. There is clearly more to this.

Why would the status of "most" after school program be more relevant that the status of the after school program at these particular children's school?

Also, even if the mom worked in this situation, and even if it was hard to get aftercare, how would not having aftercare responsibility absolve her of the responsibility to let dad know that she wasn't going to be able to get the kids so that he could pick the kids up?

You are making up situations to argue with people. What is your point? Both parent need to work together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

Most after school programs have huge wait list. There is clearly more to this.

Why would the status of "most" after school program be more relevant that the status of the after school program at these particular children's school?

Also, even if the mom worked in this situation, and even if it was hard to get aftercare, how would not having aftercare responsibility absolve her of the responsibility to let dad know that she wasn't going to be able to get the kids so that he could pick the kids up?

You are making up situations to argue with people. What is your point? Both parent need to work together.

Huh? I told a true story about something that happened in my own family. You have since made up a variety of excuses, none of which have any connection to the real situation, and none of which would justify the behavior even if they were real. Now you are accusing me of making things up for pointing that out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

Most after school programs have huge wait list. There is clearly more to this.

Why would the status of "most" after school program be more relevant that the status of the after school program at these particular children's school?

Also, even if the mom worked in this situation, and even if it was hard to get aftercare, how would not having aftercare responsibility absolve her of the responsibility to let dad know that she wasn't going to be able to get the kids so that he could pick the kids up?

You are making up situations to argue with people. What is your point? Both parent need to work together.

Huh? I told a true story about something that happened in my own family. You have since made up a variety of excuses, none of which have any connection to the real situation, and none of which would justify the behavior even if they were real. Now you are accusing me of making things up for pointing that out?

So you post online instead of helping. How about you get the child a few days a week? Otherwise stay out of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

Most after school programs have huge wait list. There is clearly more to this.

Why would the status of "most" after school program be more relevant that the status of the after school program at these particular children's school?

Also, even if the mom worked in this situation, and even if it was hard to get aftercare, how would not having aftercare responsibility absolve her of the responsibility to let dad know that she wasn't going to be able to get the kids so that he could pick the kids up?

You are making up situations to argue with people. What is your point? Both parent need to work together.

Huh? I told a true story about something that happened in my own family. You have since made up a variety of excuses, none of which have any connection to the real situation, and none of which would justify the behavior even if they were real. Now you are accusing me of making things up for pointing that out?

So you post online instead of helping. How about you get the child a few days a week? Otherwise stay out of it

How would my “helping” address the issue? I am supposed to help someone not see their kids and still collect child support?

Someone asked for a reason why custody might get changed. In this case one parent was going weeks or months without seeing their kids, despite a 50/50 custody agreement and child support calculated based on that. Both lawyers (dad’s and mom’s) said that a judge would likely find that a reason to change custody. I also specified that many of the custody transfers were scheduled to happen at school because the fact that it was easy to document that the kids were there waiting might have been a factor in the lawyer’s advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

Most after school programs have huge wait list. There is clearly more to this.

Why would the status of "most" after school program be more relevant that the status of the after school program at these particular children's school?

Also, even if the mom worked in this situation, and even if it was hard to get aftercare, how would not having aftercare responsibility absolve her of the responsibility to let dad know that she wasn't going to be able to get the kids so that he could pick the kids up?

You are making up situations to argue with people. What is your point? Both parent need to work together.

Huh? I told a true story about something that happened in my own family. You have since made up a variety of excuses, none of which have any connection to the real situation, and none of which would justify the behavior even if they were real. Now you are accusing me of making things up for pointing that out?

So you post online instead of helping. How about you get the child a few days a week? Otherwise stay out of it

How would my “helping” address the issue? I am supposed to help someone not see their kids and still collect child support?

Someone asked for a reason why custody might get changed. In this case one parent was going weeks or months without seeing their kids, despite a 50/50 custody agreement and child support calculated based on that. Both lawyers (dad’s and mom’s) said that a judge would likely find that a reason to change custody. I also specified that many of the custody transfers were scheduled to happen at school because the fact that it was easy to document that the kids were there waiting might have been a factor in the lawyer’s advice.

Sounds like far more to the story and one parent was setting the other up to fail for more child support.

[Anonymous]

just compromise more and he’ll act less “absolutely insane”

every time I hear an ex is “insane” or “crazy” I roll by eyes.

Start small and be open to change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family law legal secretary here. Probably about a third of the time, but generally it's when there have been big life changes, or one party couldn't afford an attorney when the divorce first happened and now it's years later.

Your ex would have to prove he was like, mentally ill (complete with hospital stays and being under the care of a psychiatrist or something) or his job status has changed.

But the phrase "in the best interest of the children" is kept at the forefront of peoples minds in custody cases, and changing the schedule so soon after it was put in place wouldn't be best for the kids since it's already going to change naturally in a couple of months once school is out.

You don’t have to change the arrangement formally. You can do it informally. Stop running to your lawyer for every life issue