Why is my mother passive-aggressive like this?

[Anonymous]

I do not count this as passive aggressive. Just old person behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of boomers are like this. Just entitled and miserable, always have to find something to complain about. Like the lady who made the post on here whining about her daughter not texting her first on Easter

They think people are thinking about them a lot more than they are because they were a generation of busybodies. No internet, always looking out windows and calling each other.

1000%. Thats a huge part of it too... the narcissism and self important delusion

Not everything is a pathology. Sometimes different generations just have very different expectations and experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of boomers are like this. Just entitled and miserable, always have to find something to complain about. Like the lady who made the post on here whining about her daughter not texting her first on Easter

They think people are thinking about them a lot more than they are because they were a generation of busybodies. No internet, always looking out windows and calling each other.

They're also a generation hyper concerned with keeping up appearances and worrying about how something will make them look, what others will think, etc.

My mom won’t order instacart or a pizza for fear of what the neighbors might think. When we come to visit with the kids, we aren’t allowed to get pizza delivery and have to drive to the pizza place to get it because she also doesn’t want her neighbors to think her grandchildren are the kind of people who order pizza delivery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of boomers are like this. Just entitled and miserable, always have to find something to complain about. Like the lady who made the post on here whining about her daughter not texting her first on Easter

They think people are thinking about them a lot more than they are because they were a generation of busybodies. No internet, always looking out windows and calling each other.

1000%. Thats a huge part of it too... the narcissism and self important delusion

Not everything is a pathology. Sometimes different generations just have very different expectations and experiences.

Sometimes it is though.

[Anonymous]

You had the opportunity to comment. Why didn’t you state the obvious, “Mom, you and dad wanted your Sunday free to rest up for your activity. Why are you concerned about the neighbor?” Her response could have clarified the issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had the opportunity to comment. Why didn’t you state the obvious, “Mom, you and dad wanted your Sunday free to rest up for your activity. Why are you concerned about the neighbor?” Her response could have clarified the issues.

This. Too late now.

[Anonymous]

OP, you think too much. She said something that just seemed a little odd, she was just sharing. Just talking. She didn't mean anything important by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you think too much. She said something that just seemed a little odd, she was just sharing. Just talking. She didn't mean anything important by it.

This reminds me of the dynamic between my mom and grandmother. My mom took personally and brooded over every weird or thoughtless comment my grandmother made. Like, just let it go already. Now my mom is in her 70s and having her own ramblings and I'm trying to heed my previous advice.

[Anonymous]

The world does not revolve around you, OP. Your mom's entire way of life is not a dig at you. It's her own neuroses. Part of growing up is emotional separation from being entangled with your parents in a way that their every move is a judgment of you. (Sorry, I'm being harsh to kind of get you to snap out of this victim stance.)

The only other possibility I can think of is that your mom misinterpreted your question (Saturday or Sunday) and ASSUMED that you asked because you'd rather not spend Sunday with them, and then picked Saturday out of obligation rather than true preference. This happens a lot in some families. Then she probably forgot she made this choice, or changed her mind when the time came. As people get older, they often indulge in more childish emotions, for whatever reason... Sometimes you have to make choices for parents the way you make choices for your kids instead of asking them.