Anyone else’s ex totally attempt to smear them?

[Anonymous]

Once I decided to divorce, I didn’t entertain anyone who tried to tell me what my ex was doing or saying. I didn’t want to know and I didn’t care; that’s the beauty of divorce. If someone tried to give me updates, I’d shut them down and tell them I didn’t want to hear it. Try it! It’s very freeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife tried this. She is a pathological liar and very histrionic, so no one who knew both of us believed her. People who never knew me may believe her, until they discover what a huge liar she is.

I learned this lesson years ago - not with my spouse but someone I had considered a close friend. She went to town and tried to destroy me in our common (and large) circle of mutual friends.

I don't know how I was able to do it but I decided she was so insane that all I could do was say nothing and people would eventually see her for who she is. It took time but many of those friends did eventually reach out to say "oh wow, didn't realize how bat$hit she was." I didn't respond to them either because I had moved on and was almost more pissed that they believed her lies than the lies she spread about me. But I did feel vindicated.

OP - Yes! I am more pissed at the people who believed ex’s BS than what he said about me. The ultimate betrayal! They didn’t even come to me just took it at face value. I think some of it is jealousy/misogyny and covert narcissism, from my mother at least. She has always treated me poorly compared to my brother and has low self esteem and loves to be admired by men, in an emotional incest twisted way (who wants to be admired by their son and ex son in law?)

[Anonymous]

Many people do this. It's usually a mistake, especially if you have kids together. Your life will be so much better if you can hold your tongue and experience family events, birthdays, graduations, etc., with your ex.

You may be totally right. There many be two sides of the story. Either way, it's usually a mistake to trash your ex.