Which Nanny would you choose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both sound good. Since you’re more comfortable with the nurse, pick her.

But OP's DH is more comfortable with the mom. Why does OP's "comfort" matter more than her husband's?

NP. I think people are assuming the mom will be interacting with the nanny more. If that’s wrong and the husband is, then you’ve got a point.

[Anonymous]

1 can get pregnant, get a nursing job. Wonder why she is switching? Did you ask her long term plans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1 can get pregnant, get a nursing job. Wonder why she is switching? Did you ask her long term plans?

Do you want your employers considering this when you interview for positions?

[Anonymous]

Well they do, sweetie.
And there are DCUM threads about pregnant nannies, maternity nanny leave, nanny wanting to bring kids to the house etc.

[Anonymous]

Op here.
I think they'd both be active with him.

Answering a few questions The nurse has been looking for a lower stress job and she enjoys working with families in home. We're paying a very generous salary and she's married so I'm assuming she may not be s concerned about earnings. She and her husband can't have kids so no leaving to get pregnant as someone suggested. The sahm likes working with kids she basically has an empty nest and plans to nanny until her kids are ready to have kids
And yes I know the nanny will be an employee and I don't think the sahm will argue with me I have a hard time having confidence in myself and I think I d second guess myself more with her
I also like that the nurse is a nurse because kids get sick and have accidents and she's also had a wide variety of experience and used to teach preschoolers.
Also DH isn't uncomfortable with the nurse just prefers the mom and truthfully we had considered having his mom be our caregiver, but we had kids later than planned and his mom got I'll and is no longer up to caring for a small kid.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably choose the mom, all else being equal. I think the fact that she had three kids herself means she has a huge breadth of experience to draw from. She'll probably be more of a grandma-type figure for your kid, which is sweet.

[Anonymous]

Can you do a 2nd practical interview? Have each come and spend a morning with you and the baby see if that gives you any additional information.

[Anonymous]

Is the nurse an RN or a CNA? If the nurse was an RN I’d seriously question why she wants the job? This is a huge red flag.

We once hired an RN to be an overnight caregiver for Dad. At the time I questioned why an RN was doing this low level work. The RN was a total nut job.

I would hire the Mom all day long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also the salary fioritures between ICU nurse and nanny is so great it would make me wonder why she’s stepping down from earnings like that at only 40 years old.

This. This. This.

[Anonymous]

As a former nanny and now parent, what about a trial day with each? Doesn’t half to be a full day but at least a half day to sense how it will work? Pay each for their time and then decide based on who you felt most comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you do a 2nd practical interview? Have each come and spend a morning with you and the baby see if that gives you any additional information.

I think OP should have a paid trail day - half or full day - with both and then decide. That way she can she them in action and decide who she feels most comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably choose the mom, all else being equal. I think the fact that she had three kids herself means she has a huge breadth of experience to draw from. She'll probably be more of a grandma-type figure for your kid, which is sweet.

+1

And I think the the mom sounds more stable (makes sense why she would want to nanny). It seems strange that the nurse does- even after your explanation- and I’d worry she won’t stay long.

[Anonymous]

Do a trial - pay them for a few hours and see. Also be sure to have a trial period in your contract where you can let them go the first month without severance. I would go with the former preschool teacher, because of her skill set and likely more physical energy. We hired a mom with young adult kids for our first at 6 and by the time our child was 2 we discovered she wasn’t physically able to keep up and had outdated parenting tactics. Honestly it is mostly about the personality after the basic criteria are met.

[Anonymous]

Candidate 1 would be my choice. Coming from a 49 year old Mom who has been a home daycare provider for 20 years. I know of several nurses who have become home daycare providers or nannies in the mid to late 30s.

[Anonymous]

I think you guys should agree to flip a coin. They are both great candidates.

But also, hiring is always a crap shoot. Because of a kid with SN, I’ve probably hired at least 30 caregivers over the years. Most have been fabulous, some have been fine, and a few were duds that didn’t last long. They all seemed fabulous in the interview and reference process.

I’ve also hired boatloads of people over 30 years on the professional world. There are always some duds that look great in the interview process.