DS (18) struggling with first heartbreak

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ just to add - first live can be powerful and he may always think of her fondly, but the pain will definitely recede.

+ 1.

You always remember your first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to think about the difference between missing her in particular and missing having a girlfriend in general. It might be that the latter is part of the picture that is unrecognized by him, and that’s easier to cure. Tell him he now knows how to be in a relationship, so that means he will be ready when the next person comes along. Also let him know that each relationship helps him figure out what he does and does not want in a romantic partner, and it also helps him learn about himself. It’s all part of the journey.

Whew! That AI really stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are we describing having first girlfriends as high school juniors and seniors as late bloomers?

+1

+100

I guess this makes my daughter and her friends REALLY late bloomers because they're all 18 and have never dated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to think about the difference between missing her in particular and missing having a girlfriend in general. It might be that the latter is part of the picture that is unrecognized by him, and that’s easier to cure. Tell him he now knows how to be in a relationship, so that means he will be ready when the next person comes along. Also let him know that each relationship helps him figure out what he does and does not want in a romantic partner, and it also helps him learn about himself. It’s all part of the journey.

Whew! That AI really stinks.

Sorry, this was me. I’m not AI but I guess my post is crappy. Oh well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why are we describing having first girlfriends as high school juniors and seniors as late bloomers?

Was thinking the same thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first heartbreak is awful!

Agree. I remember mine and it was so so painful. I also remember my brother’s! It wasn’t his first girlfriend, but he broke up with that one, so while I’m sure it was hard for him, it’s not the same as when you are dumped. That happened to him with a girl in college, they dated maybe a yr, and he was totally smitten. He took the break up very hard. I remember him crying, and he NEVER cried.

Just follow his lead and support him as he wants. But also know he may not want your support. He might just want to grieve and wallow by himself with interference, that’s ok too. I would just try to keep him engaged and busy with other activities and thoughts and hopefully he can move on soon

[Anonymous]

Yes, first break ups are hard. The best way to get over someone is to find someone new. So many pretty nice girls and he will find a new one. No worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are we describing having first girlfriends as high school juniors and seniors as late bloomers?

Was thinking the same thing!

.

First break ups are hard. But I wonder if it's being made worse by the idea that they are somehow behind and if that idea is accidentally being reinforced by mom

[Anonymous]

The best thing in this situations is a rebound fling. And Spring break is coming so there will be plenty to have at the beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry he’s going through that! I remember so vividly when my first kid went through her first real break up and it was devastating to see her hurt so much. I have an 18 year-old DS now who’s seeming pretty smitten with his first “real “girlfriend and I love watching how happy it makes him but there’s also this fear I have about the inevitable end. Just remember they have to go through this to learn how to go through it in the future (I’m writing this out to remind myself as well.).

yea, my 19 yr old DS has now gone through two heart breaks.

[Anonymous]

Check out the book Shift by Ethan Kross. Your DS may not want to read it, but you can read it to help him manage his emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are we describing having first girlfriends as high school juniors and seniors as late bloomers?

+1

+100

I guess this makes my daughter and her friends REALLY late bloomers because they're all 18 and have never dated.

You realize most don’t do normal dating anymore. Lots of talking, situationships, snapping pics/videos, FaceTime “bonding” and rly not letting parents know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are we describing having first girlfriends as high school juniors and seniors as late bloomers?

Was thinking the same thing!

.

First break ups are hard. But I wonder if it's being made worse by the idea that they are somehow behind and if that idea is accidentally being reinforced by mom

OP here. I'm not reinforcing that he's behind. He is just a bit immature for his age due to ADHD, so that's what I meant by "late bloomer." I think he should take his time and not rush these things, but he was really excited about his first girlfriend.

I appreciate all the feedback, though. I listened to this podcast today, and I thought there was some good insight:

https://drlisadamour.com/resource/how-do-i-support-my-heartbroken-son/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are we describing having first girlfriends as high school juniors and seniors as late bloomers?

+1

+100

I guess this makes my daughter and her friends REALLY late bloomers because they're all 18 and have never dated.

You realize most don’t do normal dating anymore. Lots of talking, situationships, snapping pics/videos, FaceTime “bonding” and rly not letting parents know.

No wonder divorce rates keep skyrocketing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing in this situations is a rebound fling. And Spring break is coming so there will be plenty to have at the beach.

I don’t suggest this. Just suppressing the pain and you are teaching your teens to be bimbos to get over relationships instead of self healing