Daily fights and no sex…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this normal on 14+ years marriage ?

Considering divorce but the ripple effect on household budget and private school will be a disaster.

Difficult to find inspiration to want to save the marriage.

Difficult phase of life, nothing else. You need to work hard to improve your relationship. Don't give up so easily.

[Anonymous]

What's the main reason of irritation for each of you?

[Anonymous]

No, this isn’t normal. My close girlfriends and I are at 15-20 years of marriage. All have sex fairly regularly from once a week to once a month I would say. None of them are having actual fights every day. I mean, my husband might slightly annoy me most days (and vice versa), but the good far, far outweighs the bad.

We love each other, we are partners, we have a lot of fun together and we laugh together every day. You could objectively look at our lives and think it was terrible — we have a profoundly disabled child — but we are mostly having a very good time. In between changing diapers on a 15 year old, we are in love. It isn’t super passionate and butterfly inducing, but it really a deep love and commitment.

[Anonymous]

Not normal. And we've had some bad times!

25 years married. Weekly sex. No fighting. Yes, disagreements. But also yes to respect and trying to be kind.

No butterflies. I actually get VERY annoyed at my husband when he breaths or talks or does anything annoying like moving the covers or shaking the bed, but man, what he does to be kind outweigh that.

[Anonymous]

Daily fights is not normal. Step one is to work on communication skills and learn to talk like adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you fighting about?

What do you mean by no sex... infrequent like 1x/month, less, never?

Which started first? No sex or the fighting? It's hard to fight with someone you're having regular sex with.

Sex 1 a year max.

Daily disagreements. Disapproving several actions during the day (don’t do that, don’t say that, it’s your fault, why do you always do that)

Is that normal for 14+ years of marriage. I don’t see romantic couples with a marriage that long. Maybe there are but just don’t see them.

My spouse and I have been married 14 years. We do not fight every day. We also don't have s**. But outside of that, we have a really nice marriage - we get along well, are not always snipping at each other, enjoy each other's company, very affectionate and loving, we do nice things for each other, say I love you a sh** ton, etc. So I would say if it is normal, it doesn't have to be that way.

Can't help you on the bedroom front, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. And we've had some bad times!

25 years married. Weekly sex. No fighting. Yes, disagreements. But also yes to respect and trying to be kind.

No butterflies. I actually get VERY annoyed at my husband when he breaths or talks or does anything annoying like moving the covers or shaking the bed, but man, what he does to be kind outweigh that.

Oh gosh yeah - I'm the other 14 year marriage person. And boy can I get annoyed by loud breathing, dirty feet, crumbs, whatever. I work hard not to let that overcome everything else, because this man treats me like gold and I value the he** out of this relationship. But there are definitely days...

[Anonymous]

What are you and your spouse doing to fix the constant fighting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you and your spouse doing to fix the constant fighting?

Suggested couples therapy but she doesn’t want to.

[Anonymous]

Also I have recently learned that i am autistic at a low level (former Asperger). She constantly tells me that i am not normal. I guess becUse of my neurodiversity.

[Anonymous]

Fight naked

[Anonymous]

Umm no - not normal. I have been married going on 14 years, together 17. We still have size 1-2 times a week barring illness. We argue definitely but big huge fights maybe once or twice a year?

We still cuddle and kiss and are affectionate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you fighting about?

What do you mean by no sex... infrequent like 1x/month, less, never?

Which started first? No sex or the fighting? It's hard to fight with someone you're having regular sex with.

Sex 1 a year max.

Daily disagreements. Disapproving several actions during the day (don’t do that, don’t say that, it’s your fault, why do you always do that)

Is that normal for 14+ years of marriage. I don’t see romantic couples with a marriage that long. Maybe there are but just don’t see them.

My spouse and I have been married 14 years. We do not fight every day. We also don't have s**. But outside of that, we have a really nice marriage - we get along well, are not always snipping at each other, enjoy each other's company, very affectionate and loving, we do nice things for each other, say I love you a sh** ton, etc. So I would say if it is normal, it doesn't have to be that way.

Can't help you on the bedroom front, though.

Why no S?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fight naked

Not bad. I only like naked women fighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you transactional people sort of sicken me.

You are willing to sell out your own lives (who you will wake up next to and eat dinner with for the rest of your lives…day in and day out), to afford a lifestyle.

Preach!