Being in friend groups with a frenemy

[Anonymous]

OP, something very similar happened in my life a while back. Same thing -- she had like a split personality and she was very vicious with me in private but she was friendly and likable otherwise and that made it much harder. Because even people close to me who knew I didn't like her didn't totally get it. They thought it must have been a misunderstanding. It was not -- she'd threatened me, lied to me and about me to others, and also done a couple other things that she knew would hurt me but I can't say because it would identify me.

Ultimately I had to totally cut ties. That meant asking my family and very closest friends to please not invite her to things that I would be at (and in some cases, asking them not to be friends with her at all), and being willing to leave more casual friend groups she was a part of.

It was very hard to do and I would not have done it if it was just a personality mismatch. I would have sucked it up and found a way to just deal with her being around. But I felt it was dangerous to be in the same social circle as her because of the way she'd targeted me, and her willingness to lie.

[Anonymous]

Why are you scared of her? What do you think she would try to do?