9 year old struggling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. Gosh. Do not send this kid to therapy! That shouts to the kid- there is something wrong with you and plays up the victim mentality. This is normal, normal stuff at this age. Stop putting so much pressure on social interactions. He is probably picking that anxiety up from you. I am glad you are aware of this dynamic in your family. Have dad step in totally. I would just point out to him that his perspective is sometimes overly sensitive bc he is a deep feeler and everyone is not built that way. And while that is a superpower for many reasons, in some instances, it can sideline you. It OK to feel these feelings, be aware of them and then let them pass. Also, for boys, real meaningful friendships that are deep don’t start until middle school unless kids are really mature. Friendships for boys In elementary school are more about doing! Physical activity and play. Your kid might be emotionally ready for something deeper but other kids may not be, so it’s a mismatch at this point. But in the long term, he’ll be fine. Just teach him some coping skills and do more 1:1 play dates.

I feel exactly the opposite. My dd went to therapy for about a year when she was 8 and struggling with social anxiety, despite being very well liked and having lots of friends. It was a great opportunity to normalize getting help for things, and didn't remotely make her feel like a victim. I think you have a very old fashioned or closed minded opinion about what therapy is and are perpetuating the stigma. At least where I live most people have moved on from that opinion, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. Gosh. Do not send this kid to therapy! That shouts to the kid- there is something wrong with you and plays up the victim mentality. This is normal, normal stuff at this age. Stop putting so much pressure on social interactions. He is probably picking that anxiety up from you. I am glad you are aware of this dynamic in your family. Have dad step in totally. I would just point out to him that his perspective is sometimes overly sensitive bc he is a deep feeler and everyone is not built that way. And while that is a superpower for many reasons, in some instances, it can sideline you. It OK to feel these feelings, be aware of them and then let them pass. Also, for boys, real meaningful friendships that are deep don’t start until middle school unless kids are really mature. Friendships for boys In elementary school are more about doing! Physical activity and play. Your kid might be emotionally ready for something deeper but other kids may not be, so it’s a mismatch at this point. But in the long term, he’ll be fine. Just teach him some coping skills and do more 1:1 play dates.

I feel exactly the opposite. My dd went to therapy for about a year when she was 8 and struggling with social anxiety, despite being very well liked and having lots of friends. It was a great opportunity to normalize getting help for things, and didn't remotely make her feel like a victim. I think you have a very old fashioned or closed minded opinion about what therapy is and are perpetuating the stigma. At least where I live most people have moved on from that opinion, thankfully.

I see where you are coming from but this does not seem like anything that warrants the acute need for therapy. It depends upon the severity. I feel like as a society we are quick to invite an “expert” in to wave their magic wand. It’s ok for kids to feel and work through uncomfortable emotions. It builds resilience. As a parent, it ok to walk with your child through a hard time and not know all the answers immediately. This is nothing that good, supportive parenting and time won’t help. The need to turn everything into some disorder needing to be cured is crazy and stems from parents being insecure about being able to support their own children. Again, if the situation is extreme, by all means seek out therapy but this doesn’t seem like this is a case of that.

[Anonymous]

It’s anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. Gosh. Do not send this kid to therapy! That shouts to the kid- there is something wrong with you and plays up the victim mentality. This is normal, normal stuff at this age. Stop putting so much pressure on social interactions. He is probably picking that anxiety up from you. I am glad you are aware of this dynamic in your family. Have dad step in totally. I would just point out to him that his perspective is sometimes overly sensitive bc he is a deep feeler and everyone is not built that way. And while that is a superpower for many reasons, in some instances, it can sideline you. It OK to feel these feelings, be aware of them and then let them pass. Also, for boys, real meaningful friendships that are deep don’t start until middle school unless kids are really mature. Friendships for boys In elementary school are more about doing! Physical activity and play. Your kid might be emotionally ready for something deeper but other kids may not be, so it’s a mismatch at this point. But in the long term, he’ll be fine. Just teach him some coping skills and do more 1:1 play dates.

I feel exactly the opposite. My dd went to therapy for about a year when she was 8 and struggling with social anxiety, despite being very well liked and having lots of friends. It was a great opportunity to normalize getting help for things, and didn't remotely make her feel like a victim. I think you have a very old fashioned or closed minded opinion about what therapy is and are perpetuating the stigma. At least where I live most people have moved on from that opinion, thankfully.

I see where you are coming from but this does not seem like anything that warrants the acute need for therapy. It depends upon the severity. I feel like as a society we are quick to invite an “expert” in to wave their magic wand. It’s ok for kids to feel and work through uncomfortable emotions. It builds resilience. As a parent, it ok to walk with your child through a hard time and not know all the answers immediately. This is nothing that good, supportive parenting and time won’t help. The need to turn everything into some disorder needing to be cured is crazy and stems from parents being insecure about being able to support their own children. Again, if the situation is extreme, by all means seek out therapy but this doesn’t seem like this is a case of that.

But a therapist doesn't cure anything with a magic want. It's not like saying just medicate the kid. A therapist helps a kid to feel and work through uncomfortable emotions. We of course also try to create a supportive environment for her and build resilience. She was never diagnosed with any "disorder" by her therapist -- it was just another trusted adult to talk to. There's a real misunderstanding, it seems, with the role many therapists play. I also totally agree that the OP's problem can be solved without, and my DD would have likely overcome her anxieties without a therapist too. But her therapist gave her some really great and creative techniques that we still benefit from. It wasn't any more complicated, or official, or "acute" or medical or diagnosable or whatever than that. Just talk.