When to stop supporting adult child?

[Anonymous]

Why does she want to quit her internship?

Young people cannot see the forest for the trees, and they self sabotage by making bad decisions. I'm seeing my college and HS junior go through this. Aggravating to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does she want to quit her internship?

Young people cannot see the forest for the trees, and they self sabotage by making bad decisions. I'm seeing my college and HS junior go through this. Aggravating to watch.

Maybe because it’s with a federal agency

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does she want to quit her internship?

Young people cannot see the forest for the trees, and they self sabotage by making bad decisions. I'm seeing my college and HS junior go through this. Aggravating to watch.

Maybe because it’s with a federal agency

Getting hired by a federal agency seems like a pretty poor bet right now. They just fired all the provisional employees and ended many summer internship programs.

[Anonymous]

White person problem? Step-child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does she want to quit her internship?

Young people cannot see the forest for the trees, and they self sabotage by making bad decisions. I'm seeing my college and HS junior go through this. Aggravating to watch.

Maybe because it’s with a federal agency

Getting hired by a federal agency seems like a pretty poor bet right now. They just fired all the provisional employees and ended many summer internship programs.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

CPAs are serious people. If she's likely to complete this education, you need to show her as much respect as possible. Imo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents got similarly antsy about stopping financial support when I hadn't yet finished my degree (and I didn't take any extra time). I think they were just ready to be done financially and had some horror stories stuck in their heads about others who did fail to launch. Their attitude added a ton of stress to our relationship and felt like they didn't trust me to follow through and be successful.

I'd let your daughter know that your financial support is hard to manage and ask what she thinks she can do to help more. Work with her. Talk to her. Don't just tell her you're no longer paying certain bills. She is taking on significant financial responsibilities with $7k in student loans. She is working hard. She is being responsible. She doesn't need ultimatums.

Then let her know how excited you are for her to start her career after graduation--she'll need to fully support herself then. It sounds like she's chosen a super responsible major where she should make a good income and have good job options. You shouldn't micromanage what internship she takes or doesn't take. She's an adult and *should* pivot to a different employer if she can and her current internship isn't somewhere she wants to work. It has to be up to her to find employment. That's up to her. Butt out.

+1 she sounds like a responsible young adult. Support her as much as you can so she can get that CPA. Don’t be shortsighted or pound-foolish over one additional year of schooling.

Quitting an internship with the federal government actually sounds like a smart move. She’ll get something better. CPAs are in great demand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does she want to quit her internship?

Young people cannot see the forest for the trees, and they self sabotage by making bad decisions. I'm seeing my college and HS junior go through this. Aggravating to watch.

This is a kid who is studying to be an accountant. She doesn't sound like a person who is making poor decisions or self sabotaging.

[Anonymous]

You've done more than enough. Your DC can take on student debt. Tons of people do it - and she only has to take on a year's worth.

I'd suggest you sit her down, tell her this is the plan, and she can decide if she wants to take on part time work to offset expenses ASAP, or pay it in interest later. She is an adult and if she is going to be an accountant, can more than budget and decide what makes sense.

But PS: starting CPA salaries at big 4s are very low. I think you'd be doing her a huge favor by telling it to her straight so she can plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Also $7K in student debt is NOTHING. You hae been incredibly generous and supportive. Your kid will be starting off with a great financial picture. Don't coddle her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a college student in a five-year degree program. We’re struggling to support her going into fifth year. We covered four years of tuition plus car payments, insurance, apartment, and all medical. She does work, but only a couple of days a week. Classes are three days a week, so it leaves another one or two days she could be working. She also told us that she plans to take all hard classes this year and have an easy fifth year, so she can have fun. Also, wants to quit her summer internship with the gov’t agency she worked for every summer since her second year. It will lead to a firm job offer if she will finish her internship this summer and passes her CPA exam.

Current plan is she takes out gov’t loan to cover her last year ~7k. We will still be paying for her apartment. I am proposing to both DH and her to start paying for her own car insurance (starting this summer) and her car payment (starting in January 2026. She will need to work 1/2 more days a week. I am also not okay with her quitting her internship with the current economic outlook. Thoughts?

Normally support stops after graduation but Not sure if your struggle is financial or just not wanting to support her beyond the "normal" 4 year-degree.

My niece who is doing a 5th year has an arrangement with her parents:

- Loan for 5th year or beyond
- No car payment as her car was bought used years ago and fully paid. If she wants a new car, she would have to pay for it herself.
- Apartment is shared with roommates, so cost is lower. Paid by parents
- Medical and auto insurance paid by parents
- Works PT during school year and adds more hours during the summer for daily expenses.

I think you are just upset (and wants to control the situation) she wants to quit the Internship and that she wants to take a lighter load next school year.
You know your child better, is she taking advantage or or just tired and stressed out? CPA is not an easy accomplishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've done more than enough. Your DC can take on student debt. Tons of people do it - and she only has to take on a year's worth.

I'd suggest you sit her down, tell her this is the plan, and she can decide if she wants to take on part time work to offset expenses ASAP, or pay it in interest later. She is an adult and if she is going to be an accountant, can more than budget and decide what makes sense.

But PS: starting CPA salaries at big 4s are very low. I think you'd be doing her a huge favor by telling it to her straight so she can plan accordingly.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've done more than enough. Your DC can take on student debt. Tons of people do it - and she only has to take on a year's worth.

I'd suggest you sit her down, tell her this is the plan, and she can decide if she wants to take on part time work to offset expenses ASAP, or pay it in interest later. She is an adult and if she is going to be an accountant, can more than budget and decide what makes sense.

But PS: starting CPA salaries at big 4s are very low. I think you'd be doing her a huge favor by telling it to her straight so she can plan accordingly.

The time to voice this plan was when she chose a degree track that would require a 5th year. You don't spring it on her at the end of her 4th year. She's going to feel like you're pulling the rug out from under her. Not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White person problem? Step-child?

+1 this is not rational, step-child?

[Anonymous]

Well, with the latest executive order I would definitely plan for not having a loan