When ex-spouse is just evil but pretends they are a good person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He may not be a deadbeat and there may be more to the story.

What's a plausible explanation for a parent who won't pay part of their child's medical bill?

It may not be in the order or his responsibility or like in our situation our insurance 100% covered medical bills and she refused to use it. What does the order say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you in VA or DC?

You might start recording all your phone calls just to have those records in case you need them in the future

My ex is a narcissist so it doesn’t really matter if he is a good person, he just needs to feel like he is. So as long as he occasionally does things that he feels good about it, he’s able to justify the rest. Is it similar for you?

My ex spouse recorded me for four months. I live in Virginia. Then used the fights in divorce court. He was calm as he was recording. I am still lightly traumatized and have dreams about it five years later.

If I had to do it again: Stipulate to everything you said ahead of time. So you don’t have to hear your voice (at its worst) in court. I am okay now! Dreams are less and less.

Why didn’t you record him? Why were you screaming at him?

[Anonymous]

What did I do to provoke recording? A lot of bad things and words I regret. Everything settled down and my ex and I see each other almost everyday. I don’t even need to forgive him as I am past that. We were both awful so it’s a tie.

The point is about defending yourself from audio or video recordings in VIRGINIA DIVORCE COURT

You can admit and stipulate - before they are even played to avoid the humiliation and negative emotions on display in front of the judge.

Mine were played at an “Emergency Hearing” so I never got to hear them until later. Transcript was huge - it fits an entire binder. Most of it is boring and the other stuff is not that interesting. 100 percent shrill female
voice (that’s me).

Maybe it’s a bit like extortion, you just have to own up tor the photos or acts or whatever bc it undercuts the opponent. I learned that later. It all worked out for me at the end.

Have faith— and focus on your nice family people . This fighting is a blip

[Anonymous]

And yes, I know that my weird dreams would probably go away once I stop seeing my former longtime spouse on a near daily basis.

I can’t do that quite yet. Our situation has a built in time limit - and it’s coming up soon. I’ll move on soon. I always feel compelled to chime in when people suggest recording in their homes bc it took a toll on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. My ex's half brother told his friend how much money his brother had given me. I had run into them while they were trying to get people to sign up for xfinity on some street corner.
In reality, ex used my credit card for his 'business' and divorce court made him pay back his half. He also never provided health insurance for the child ordered by court, and stopped paying the $400 a month child support 11 years ago.
I don't have time to argue with anyone.
I'm not going to court for the medical nor the $400x12 months x13 years (age 21 in DC).
I invested myself into financial freedom. I would have never done this if I had been busy arguing with those idiots. Instead of asking how I did it on my meager salary, he used the two minutes to let his friend know that his half-brother used to be rich.
I left him and my net worth skyrocketed after paying off the debts. I saw opportunities and nobody was going to hold me back like before.
Don't let his behavior affect you too much. There are assets that will do 5-10x in the next 2-4 years. Find them.

You are so funny, with that intro! You sound like you are doing a great. I am improved greatly after breaking up and not focusing on my spouse. I am the lady who was recording (my spouse made me take a deposition where he quizzed me on the bus schedule and stuff like that). I have a lot to be upset about but I decided to thrive instead. I also decided to “see the good in him” as a way to parent our children together. So I renew that every day/ Hard as heck, but doable

[Anonymous]

If you have kids marriage is the length of the relationship + 18 years. You basically need to find a way to reorder the relationship

Every one thinks their spouse is evil. Like 15 percent actually are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did I do to provoke recording? A lot of bad things and words I regret. Everything settled down and my ex and I see each other almost everyday. I don’t even need to forgive him as I am past that. We were both awful so it’s a tie.

The point is about defending yourself from audio or video recordings in VIRGINIA DIVORCE COURT

You can admit and stipulate - before they are even played to avoid the humiliation and negative emotions on display in front of the judge.

Mine were played at an “Emergency Hearing” so I never got to hear them until later. Transcript was huge - it fits an entire binder. Most of it is boring and the other stuff is not that interesting. 100 percent shrill female
voice (that’s me).

Maybe it’s a bit like extortion, you just have to own up tor the photos or acts or whatever bc it undercuts the opponent. I learned that later. It all worked out for me at the end.

Have faith— and focus on your nice family people . This fighting is a blip

He recorded you because of your behavior and treatment to him. You are not the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. My ex's half brother told his friend how much money his brother had given me. I had run into them while they were trying to get people to sign up for xfinity on some street corner.
In reality, ex used my credit card for his 'business' and divorce court made him pay back his half. He also never provided health insurance for the child ordered by court, and stopped paying the $400 a month child support 11 years ago.
I don't have time to argue with anyone.
I'm not going to court for the medical nor the $400x12 months x13 years (age 21 in DC).
I invested myself into financial freedom. I would have never done this if I had been busy arguing with those idiots. Instead of asking how I did it on my meager salary, he used the two minutes to let his friend know that his half-brother used to be rich.
I left him and my net worth skyrocketed after paying off the debts. I saw opportunities and nobody was going to hold me back like before.
Don't let his behavior affect you too much. There are assets that will do 5-10x in the next 2-4 years. Find them.

You are so funny, with that intro! You sound like you are doing a great. I am improved greatly after breaking up and not focusing on my spouse. I am the lady who was recording (my spouse made me take a deposition where he quizzed me on the bus schedule and stuff like that). I have a lot to be upset about but I decided to thrive instead. I also decided to “see the good in him” as a way to parent our children together. So I renew that every day/ Hard as heck, but doable

That is normal for court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did I do to provoke recording? A lot of bad things and words I regret. Everything settled down and my ex and I see each other almost everyday. I don’t even need to forgive him as I am past that. We were both awful so it’s a tie.

The point is about defending yourself from audio or video recordings in VIRGINIA DIVORCE COURT

You can admit and stipulate - before they are even played to avoid the humiliation and negative emotions on display in front of the judge.

Mine were played at an “Emergency Hearing” so I never got to hear them until later. Transcript was huge - it fits an entire binder. Most of it is boring and the other stuff is not that interesting. 100 percent shrill female
voice (that’s me).

Maybe it’s a bit like extortion, you just have to own up tor the photos or acts or whatever bc it undercuts the opponent. I learned that later. It all worked out for me at the end.

Have faith— and focus on your nice family people . This fighting is a blip

He recorded you because of your behavior and treatment to him. You are not the victim.

Yes, read comprehension is a thing of the past. We definitely out gamed me! I mean, I “won” at the end; in court.

And he got to humiliate me. Good for him. We have an ongoing father - daughter-style relationship. He is still him and I still me. Now we are more chill. We settled the finances, which took the pressure off. My ex know know keeps saying “you should find a rich husband.” LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. My ex's half brother told his friend how much money his brother had given me. I had run into them while they were trying to get people to sign up for xfinity on some street corner.
In reality, ex used my credit card for his 'business' and divorce court made him pay back his half. He also never provided health insurance for the child ordered by court, and stopped paying the $400 a month child support 11 years ago.
I don't have time to argue with anyone.
I'm not going to court for the medical nor the $400x12 months x13 years (age 21 in DC).
I invested myself into financial freedom. I would have never done this if I had been busy arguing with those idiots. Instead of asking how I did it on my meager salary, he used the two minutes to let his friend know that his half-brother used to be rich.
I left him and my net worth skyrocketed after paying off the debts. I saw opportunities and nobody was going to hold me back like before.
Don't let his behavior affect you too much. There are assets that will do 5-10x in the next 2-4 years. Find them.

You are so funny, with that intro! You sound like you are doing a great. I am improved greatly after breaking up and not focusing on my spouse. I am the lady who was recording (my spouse made me take a deposition where he quizzed me on the bus schedule and stuff like that). I have a lot to be upset about but I decided to thrive instead. I also decided to “see the good in him” as a way to parent our children together. So I renew that every day/ Hard as heck, but doable

That is normal for court.

Well I found the entire custody dispute to be stupid. Why two people who are angry at each other after 20 years should depose each other is stupid. May be normal. But it’s silly to talk about grocery stores and school buses in a deposition.

[Anonymous]

I am more relaxed now. Honestly, now I would find it flattering if he bothered to tape me. I would be naughty in different ways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in VA or DC?

You might start recording all your phone calls just to have those records in case you need them in the future

My ex is a narcissist so it doesn’t really matter if he is a good person, he just needs to feel like he is. So as long as he occasionally does things that he feels good about it, he’s able to justify the rest. Is it similar for you?

Recording or taking just establishes history of dishonesty, interference with parenting (or at least deprioritizing parenting) and deception when a child’s parents live together in a single home . It just shows dysfunction, not much else

[Anonymous]

Poster on 03/10/2025 17:31 -- What does it mean to stipulate to everything you said ahead of time in court? Can you explain that process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poster on 03/10/2025 17:31 -- What does it mean to stipulate to everything you said ahead of time in court? Can you explain that process?

Why are you asking and what is your context please ?

[Anonymous]

Everything is on Google especially w AI summaries now. Read this and ask your own questions in the search field. You may also ask specific questions (using your specific scenario) and see what happens

https://lawventure.com/cross-examination-techniques-for-courtroom/

I have no idea what this thread is about but i think this is in response to roommates or married folks who record each other in the home (Like J. Depp and his live-in partner).