How often do your adult kids contact you?

[Anonymous]

I talk to my kids at least once a week and text every few days. When my parents were still alive I talked to them at least once or twice a week, but I also have siblings so between us someone was checking in on them almost every day.

Like the PP I can imagine going a couple months without talking to a 95 year old dad. Even when my mom had late stage dementia I still called once a week. Conversations were difficult but after she passed, I realized how much I missed hearing her voice.

[Anonymous]

My mom had a stroke in October and was on the floor of her home for about 40 hours before we knew ( she is still alive now). I had been in touch with her the day before and while I often reach out by phone or text she often doesn’t reply so I could have gone more than a week without being worried. My sister lives nearby but same situation. The only reason she was alerted is because my mom didn’t show up to a party and the host contacted my sister. It’s hard when they live alone and aren’t particularly comfortable with phones ( and refusing to wear life alert stuff like my mom.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adult kid and am fine talking to my dad once a month. He is VERY dull and tells me the most mundane things about his life (which store he went food shopping at, which load of laundry he's done) and when I talk about mine he interrupts to give unsolicited advice I don't need.

Are you from New Jersey?

NJ resident here. What does that have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

Weekly phone calls and texts as events happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how often do you contact your adult children?

Thank you.If your adult chldren don't call/text you, well you are absoluetly the problem. Call a therapist.

Disagree. My BFF's adult child was alienated by the other parent/family who has money. Even as a young child they were encouraged to ignore ALL members one side of their family (including cousins their own age) simply because the other parent/side dangled significant money in front of their nose.

Now as an adult, they still don't initiate contact with my friend nor the extended family. Adult child doesn't feel a need to I guess, since the other parent buys them expensive cars, travel, large house as well as a vacation/beach house and is entirely content to the one and only parent who matters. Even the adult child's spouse, who should have nothing against my BFF, doesn't make any effort to make contact as they've drunk the cash flow Kool-aid poured by other parent.

Who could compete with that?

[Anonymous]

I talk or text with both my adult children everyday. We also have a video chat all together, sometimes also with their dad who is my ex, about once or twice a month. If any of us were out of touch for a whole day others of us would be checking to see if everything is ok. I am retired and live alone so I feel loved as I'm sure they do too. We've always been very close though.

[Anonymous]

I am 60. Talk to my mom every other days, and I talk to my older brothers at least once a week. My side of the family is on a group chat too. No one is living alone. They also have plenty of daily care givers and domestic staff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 60. Talk to my mom every other days, and I talk to my older brothers at least once a week. My side of the family is on a group chat too. No one is living alone. They also have plenty of daily care givers and domestic staff.

They probably live in another country.

[Anonymous]

I speak with my mother and mother in law daily. I don’t love doing it, but they need the connection and the check in. I basically let them drone on about what they ate that day and listen in my AirPods while I work or while I’m driving.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, very infrequently. I text a bit more, but not regularly. Both parents are alive and they see other family members very regularly so there’s no issue of them dying without anyone knowing.

[Anonymous]

I am middle age. I could be in touch with my dad often because he was happy to hear from me. My mom has refused to stay on meds, flies off the handle at a moments notice and won't get more than a dementia screen every few years and she throws verbal knives. Had to outsource. She has alienated neighbors and friends and refuses the level of care she needs, but by law is considered capable to make these choices. it's sad, but I don't think it is good for her health or mine to let her rage at me so I can check on her.

[Anonymous]

I think it's an interesting dynamic as his kids were the same age as their stepmother.

[Anonymous]

Son is 29. Everybody loves Raymond situation. We talk 4-5 times a day by fb chat text or call

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also saw that Hackman's daughter said that she hadn't talked to him in a few months and all I could think was, "you have a 95-year-old dad and you are not talking to him at least weekly?!" but I guess she outsourced the care to the younger wife. My FIL is 96 and I am constantly asking my DH, "did you call your dad this week?"

His wife was his affair partner. He left his wife of 30 years for her. Started “dating Betsy in 1984. Divorced his wife in 1986. No wonder his kids don’t care

[Anonymous]

Weekly phone calls and several texts during the week about all kinds of topics. We’re the parents and it feels about right to us.