how to support friend who lost her twins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Out of hope I can avoid such an infection if I am lucky enough to become pregnant, may I ask what infection she had and how she thinks she got it?

I see a lot of these posts on threads about lost. There are some risks you can't plan your way out of. Being pregnant is risky and everything can happen, and does happen, to someone. It is naive to think otherwise, and I hope for your sake you never really understand what I'm saying.

[Anonymous]

I wrote that post and did not mean to suggest that it was in *any* way the "fault" of the mother. It is sad, tragic occurrence that I know is deeply painful for her. As someone who has had miscarriages, I was simply hoping I could learn something. It seems we hear every month about a new something to avoid, some other food that listeria or some other microbe can get into and cause problems. So, I apologize if my comment was misconstrued. For some of us, some hope that we can at least better our chances, knowing from experience that nothing is guaranteed, is vital to maintaining the ability to summon the mental strength to keep trying.

[Anonymous]

sorry to respond so late. she had an infection of the amniotic fluid, no known cause of it. a small chance it had happened during the amnio itself, but in most cases the cause is unknown. was characterized as a 'freak' occurence--dont think you could do anything to prevent it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for letting us know. I hope you are able to help your friend through this very difficult time.