“We’d like to take you out for your birthday!”

[Anonymous]

If the place is out of your budget I think you can say that (it's family!) but if it's more that the parking is annoying and the restaurant is inconvenient I would suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Say something this time or you'll never get the end of it for years to come. You don't care if they sound upset or whatever. Your invitation, your money, your choice.

It's also rude from them to choose a pricey place.

[Anonymous]

I assume on my birthday I get to choose the location for family dinner. That’s how it works in our family.
You suck it up and do it OP.

[Anonymous]

I think your only valid concern is the price. You can suck up the location, dress code and parking difficulties. If it really is out of your budget, tell them that and suggest some alternatives.

Next year, either don’t offer or only offer for a specific place.

[Anonymous]

If it's too pricey, leave the non-family spouse home. Then it's dinner for 2 instead of 3.

Are you and birthday person coming from different areas that you can tell them to meet you there so they have the share the headache of the location?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your only valid concern is the price. You can suck up the location, dress code and parking difficulties. If it really is out of your budget, tell them that and suggest some alternatives.

Next year, either don’t offer or only offer for a specific place.

I agree with everything in this. Too expensive for the budget is a legit issue, but dress code & getting there are not.

Learn from this that in the future, any invitation needs to have a suggested place (or two places) in mind. "We'd love to take you to place-1 or place-2 to celebrate!" Basically, make it a closed-ended question, and not open ended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the place is out of your budget I think you can say that (it's family!) but if it's more that the parking is annoying and the restaurant is inconvenient I would suck it up.

Agree with this. Parking is bad? You've clearly never tried to park in NYC - you circle a few blocks for 20 minutes to find a spot that's a half mile away from the restaurant. Totally normal.

[Anonymous]

Who invites someone out for their birthday and then insists on choosing the place? Like what even is that? It’s their birthday OP. What is the dynamic between you and this relative that it feels appropriate to veto their restaurant choice on their birthday? Is it an obligatory thing like MIL wanting to go to Army Navy club, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's too pricey, leave the non-family spouse home. Then it's dinner for 2 instead of 3.

Are you and birthday person coming from different areas that you can tell them to meet you there so they have the share the headache of the location?

You’re suggesting they leave out the birthday person’s spouse? Or OP’s spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who invites someone out for their birthday and then insists on choosing the place? Like what even is that? It’s their birthday OP. What is the dynamic between you and this relative that it feels appropriate to veto their restaurant choice on their birthday? Is it an obligatory thing like MIL wanting to go to Army Navy club, etc?

This. OP, if you have restrictions next time, then offer two or three suggestions. But when it's an open invite, you suck it up and smile while you get dressed up and go.

[Anonymous]

I like goof food and good restaurants. Nothing is worst than being dragged to some chain restaurant to eat.

With that being said why don't yiu just treat? As opposed to taking the bday person put buy them a gc to the restaurant of their choice and let them go with someone who will enjoy the atmosphere and food?

I don't know that inwoukd back out for this year unless you can say something came up.

[Anonymous]

Is the family member single without a big social network? If so, I would suck it up and go, as it’s likely a place they have been wanting to try.

But, I also think it’s fine to point out logistical problems and offer a few suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's too pricey, leave the non-family spouse home. Then it's dinner for 2 instead of 3.

Are you and birthday person coming from different areas that you can tell them to meet you there so they have the share the headache of the location?

OP here. They want us all there, including our (older elementary) kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t pay to garage park one time OP? I would suck it up or spring for an uber

This if parking is logistical nightmare, I would take an Uber. Maybe drive to the person's house, and then take an Uber together to the restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's too pricey, leave the non-family spouse home. Then it's dinner for 2 instead of 3.

Are you and birthday person coming from different areas that you can tell them to meet you there so they have the share the headache of the location?

OP here. They want us all there, including our (older elementary) kids!

“While we were up for a treat for your birthday, High Brow Restaurant is definitely too upscale for our whole family. We’ll be leaving the kids home unless we do something closer logistically and menu-appropriate for them.”