Walk me through dealing with incredibly moody rude 11 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having so many issues with my 11.5 year old. She’s newly menstruating and the moods are wild. That I can handle. I’m not sure how to deal with her frank rudeness. For example, her dad comes home, and says oh great, you’re doing your homework! She says obviously in the rudest voice you can imagine and refuses to respond further. She knocked me over in the kitchen the other day because she decided to take the most direct path through where I was standing and when I said whoa! She made the rudest face you can imagine and went “whoa!” In an imitating way, “what is your problem?”

I am dying to just severely punish her. She’s unbearable.

She knocked you over? You fell because of her? Oh hell no. Everything she doesn't care about would be gone. She would have no privileges until she apologized and understood that physically running into someone will not happen. Then she could start earning things back.

Hormones be damned, that's no excuse.

[Anonymous]

Nothing sounds that rude. Grow a thicker skin. It's a ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing sounds that rude. Grow a thicker skin. It's a ride.

Knocking mom over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having so many issues with my 11.5 year old. She’s newly menstruating and the moods are wild. That I can handle. I’m not sure how to deal with her frank rudeness. For example, her dad comes home, and says oh great, you’re doing your homework! She says obviously in the rudest voice you can imagine and refuses to respond further. She knocked me over in the kitchen the other day because she decided to take the most direct path through where I was standing and when I said whoa! She made the rudest face you can imagine and went “whoa!” In an imitating way, “what is your problem?”

I am dying to just severely punish her. She’s unbearable.

She knocked you over? You fell because of her? Oh hell no. Everything she doesn't care about would be gone. She would have no privileges until she apologized and understood that physically running into someone will not happen. Then she could start earning things back.

Hormones be damned, that's no excuse.

Would you whoop her, hell nawww

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old is much worse. Told me recently she prays for my death! I tell her repeatedly this is not acceptable, take away screen time, etc. Sometimes she apologizes almost immediately and I think she means it. No advice here really, just commiseration.

Hey not to be rude but I’d take a kid like that to therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she doesnt care about the ipad, take it away. Or the tv, or computer, or a planned outing with friends, her allowance, whatever she is into. Nip it in the bud now or she will be walking all over you by the time she gets to high school.

i love that people think punishment fixes mood swings. she needs to learn how to deal with it without being rude, for sure, but how are you helping her? you have to help her learn to deal w/ changing hormones etc. "YOU ARE MEAN NO IPAD FOR YOU" ignores how puberty changes kids.

Puberty is just an excuse for acting crappy. We all went through puberty, but not every kids acts crappy because of it. She can't axr like this regardless.

It’s not an excuse it’s the reason. You don’t have to accept the rudeness. - no one here has said that at all.

[Anonymous]

Age 11? Yikes. I have boys and while they are rowdy and clueless and yes rude, they dont have that type of attitude. I also wonder if therapy or anxiety meds might be needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age 11? Yikes. I have boys and while they are rowdy and clueless and yes rude, they dont have that type of attitude. I also wonder if therapy or anxiety meds might be needed.

hhahahahahahhhha. Such a big mom thing to say!!!

[Anonymous]

i went through this with my oldest at about the same age. doesn't sound like she was as rude as your is.

i would not tolerate that. take away whatever it is that is her currency until she shapes up.

it will probably last for a year or two.

my second ... her "bad years" lasted 7 years!!!

good luck.

[Anonymous]

My 11.5yo DS isn’t quite that bad but he’s definitely moodier, more sarcastic, and ruder than ever before. For him, there’s a 60% chance he’s hangry or tired when he acts like this. When he’s calm, we talk about better ways to manage all the feelings, how to better identify and communicate what’s actually going on, and how hormones play a role. But it’s one step forward, three steps back at times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having so many issues with my 11.5 year old. She’s newly menstruating and the moods are wild. That I can handle. I’m not sure how to deal with her frank rudeness. For example, her dad comes home, and says oh great, you’re doing your homework! She says obviously in the rudest voice you can imagine and refuses to respond further. She knocked me over in the kitchen the other day because she decided to take the most direct path through where I was standing and when I said whoa! She made the rudest face you can imagine and went “whoa!” In an imitating way, “what is your problem?”

I am dying to just severely punish her. She’s unbearable.

She knocked you over? You fell because of her? Oh hell no. Everything she doesn't care about would be gone. She would have no privileges until she apologized and understood that physically running into someone will not happen. Then she could start earning things back.

Hormones be damned, that's no excuse.

Would you whoop her, hell nawww

Did I say I would? No.

There is zero excuse for intentionally physically running into someone. It's even worse if OP fell.

[Anonymous]

Op, look her in the eye and in a low, quiet, controlled voice tell her to change how she speaks to you. When the snotty "or what" comes back, tell her to bring you all electronics. If that doesn't work start taking other things. First up, no rides anywhere.

Basically getting a good response out of you will depend on her.

I've seen on here where some parents respond in kind for a bit. When she wants something roll your eyes and walk away. I'm not sure about that approach.

[Anonymous]

You and dad need to put your foot down. Being her age and newly menstruating isn’t an excuse for being disrespectful.
Get in front of it and ASAP.