Volleyball & Quitting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in a different sport (softball) but I don’t get bench players at all. I’m not paying/driving/hassling for my kid to sit the bench. If she isn’t playing, this isn’t the team for us, we’d rather be on a “lower” team and play. We aren’t gunning for college. The point of sports is the play. Period.

So you have to look at the bigger picture. Will quitting affect her ability to play on a different team next season? Does she even want to? Or does she want to quit the whole sport? If yes, I would let her quit, personally.

I can't speak for club softball ^^, but in club volleyball bench players cone to practice only. They participate in the vigor of drills, scrimmage, receive coaching support, etc.

The only difference is they don't travel to tournaments which is a huge time commitment (as in all weekend and sometimes even missing school) and fincial obligation (travel expenses, hotel, food).
Some families have neither the time (re: dedicate nearly your entire weekend) or the money (club vb easily is $5k ++) for "all of that", but their kid still wants to (and is good enough) play at a high level .

Hence, the compromise is being a bench player.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a different sport (softball) but I don’t get bench players at all. I’m not paying/driving/hassling for my kid to sit the bench. If she isn’t playing, this isn’t the team for us, we’d rather be on a “lower” team and play. We aren’t gunning for college. The point of sports is the play. Period.

So you have to look at the bigger picture. Will quitting affect her ability to play on a different team next season? Does she even want to? Or does she want to quit the whole sport? If yes, I would let her quit, personally.

I can't speak for club softball ^^, but in club volleyball bench players cone to practice only. They participate in the vigor of drills, scrimmage, receive coaching support, etc.

The only difference is they don't travel to tournaments which is a huge time commitment (as in all weekend and sometimes even missing school) and fincial obligation (travel expenses, hotel, food).
Some families have neither the time (re: dedicate nearly your entire weekend) or the money (club vb easily is $5k ++) for "all of that", but their kid still wants to (and is good enough) play at a high level .

Hence, the compromise is being a bench player.

Wow do they still pay full fees? I have seen something like this in club baseball and softball (usually called “practice players” it seems)- but they definitely do not pay full fees. Often they are called up as a fill in player if there are absences. Sometimes the players are doing this to accommodate a different seasonal sport (prioritizing that sport, while still staying in practice and attending as they can) but usually they are basically waiting for/ hoping for a spot on the roster to open up. If someone leaves the team, they often get first consideration for tryouts.

[Anonymous]

The above is referred to as a practice player in volleyball. When I hear someone is a bench player, it means to me that they are part of the team, fo to tournaments, but sit on the bench most of the time. Most clubs say playtime is earned. So if you don’t have the skills, you’re on the bench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a different sport (softball) but I don’t get bench players at all. I’m not paying/driving/hassling for my kid to sit the bench. If she isn’t playing, this isn’t the team for us, we’d rather be on a “lower” team and play. We aren’t gunning for college. The point of sports is the play. Period.

So you have to look at the bigger picture. Will quitting affect her ability to play on a different team next season? Does she even want to? Or does she want to quit the whole sport? If yes, I would let her quit, personally.

I can't speak for club softball ^^, but in club volleyball bench players cone to practice only. They participate in the vigor of drills, scrimmage, receive coaching support, etc.

The only difference is they don't travel to tournaments which is a huge time commitment (as in all weekend and sometimes even missing school) and fincial obligation (travel expenses, hotel, food).
Some families have neither the time (re: dedicate nearly your entire weekend) or the money (club vb easily is $5k ++) for "all of that", but their kid still wants to (and is good enough) play at a high level .

Hence, the compromise is being a bench player.

Wow do they still pay full fees? I have seen something like this in club baseball and softball (usually called “practice players” it seems)- but they definitely do not pay full fees. Often they are called up as a fill in player if there are absences. Sometimes the players are doing this to accommodate a different seasonal sport (prioritizing that sport, while still staying in practice and attending as they can) but usually they are basically waiting for/ hoping for a spot on the roster to open up. If someone leaves the team, they often get first consideration for tryouts.

Volleyball is completely different. Everyone tries out every year. Some teams are known for favoring returning players but they even tryout at multiple clubs since they know they could be cut instantly. There is no hoping for a roster spot to open up. Everyone is hoping to keep their spot and is fighting for it season to season.

[Anonymous]

It's up to you re quitting but I think that if she does stick it out and if she does seek to improve her skills that you will see a big jump in her skill level. I recommend some private lessons - even with a high school player as a pp recommended. My 8th grade daughter also worked with a high school player this summer and it was helpful and motivating for her. I've seen a huge jump in her skill level in one year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in a different sport (softball) but I don’t get bench players at all. I’m not paying/driving/hassling for my kid to sit the bench. If she isn’t playing, this isn’t the team for us, we’d rather be on a “lower” team and play. We aren’t gunning for college. The point of sports is the play. Period.

So you have to look at the bigger picture. Will quitting affect her ability to play on a different team next season? Does she even want to? Or does she want to quit the whole sport? If yes, I would let her quit, personally.

I'm another softball parent, now a volleyball parent, and there are definitely bench players in softball! In my experience, all the pitchers except the one starting pitcher are often mostly sitting the bench waiting for the starting pitchers arm to give out, or for her to get sick/injured. The coaches won't put them in the field because they may need them for relief pitching but unlike baseball it's typical for the starting pitcher to pitch for every game and to finish out a game. It's less notable with other positions because you can rotate outfields or infielders around more, but definitely happens with other positions as well. In any sport, once you're out of rec, the coaches are going to play the best players but keep some next-level players for backup in case of illness/injury.

Anyway, I think it's all a balance. Sometimes its better for the player to be a "bench" player on a better team, as they can practice with the better team and see the higher level of play, and learn a lot from it. But you have to balance that against the loss of playing time. I don't think there are easy answers, and a lot depends on the kid's personality, how good a fit the team is otherwise, and stuff like that. My other kid (different sport) recently went from the best player on his lower level team who was almost never subbed out, to being a sort of mediocre player on the better team, who doesn't get as much time during games but is getting more intense development in practices and is less frustrated with the rest of his team not being able to meet his level of play.

[Anonymous]

What age? If they are 10-14 they need to realize the top players on the team might not be the top players in a few years. So much changes, growth, puberty, etc that impacts players.

[Anonymous]

Going to add in my own experience here as a player and with a son that plays club volleyball. The big question is, does she love the sport? Volleyball is a big commitment when it comes to practice time and travel tournaments.

I went into the sport late, after playing AAU basketball for years. I somehow made my high school team and then played club. I mostly sat the bench, in both, but still worked hard in practice. I kept working and, eventually, I earned a starting position. I wound up being all county, all metro, and played in college.

My own kid seems to be following in the same path, although he started the sport a lot earlier than I did. He spent 2 years of club, playing 2 rotations, and is now the starting setter on his team…. With a killer jump serve.

If she still loves the sport, even if she’s currently the worst on her team, I’d encourage her to keep at it. Out work everyone else out there. She was selected for the team for a reason, a coach sees her potential.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:Going to add in my own experience here as a player and with a son that plays club volleyball. The big question is, does she love the sport? Volleyball is a big commitment when it comes to practice time and travel tournaments.

I went into the sport late, after playing AAU basketball for years. I somehow made my high school team and then played club. I mostly sat the bench, in both, but still worked hard in practice. I kept working and, eventually, I earned a starting position. I wound up being all county, all metro, and played in college.

My own kid seems to be following in the same path, although he started the sport a lot earlier than I did. He spent 2 years of club, playing 2 rotations, and is now the starting setter on his team…. With a killer jump serve.

If she still loves the sport, even if she’s currently the worst on her team, I’d encourage her to keep at it. Out work everyone else out there. She was selected for the team for a reason, a coach sees her potential.

Out of curiosity, how tall are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age? And the ages below are arbitrary but I do think it very much matters.

If under age 12ish, I may well let her quit. Yes, mid season. If she doesn’t see playing time, she is not on the right team. Go play rec and see if she wants to try out for a different team next year. Coaches and parents tend to be “forgiving” at these aged- especially if she is not a key player. Use a “white lie” type of excuse- work commitments are making it difficult to attend tournaments, $ is tight, or some type of extended family issue.

Age 12+ quitting mid season can get so much trickier. Burning bridges becomes a real concern.

You do realize volleyball costs several thousands of dollars and the club is not refunding that money right? And that they can’t get a replacement player?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:Going to add in my own experience here as a player and with a son that plays club volleyball. The big question is, does she love the sport? Volleyball is a big commitment when it comes to practice time and travel tournaments.

I went into the sport late, after playing AAU basketball for years. I somehow made my high school team and then played club. I mostly sat the bench, in both, but still worked hard in practice. I kept working and, eventually, I earned a starting position. I wound up being all county, all metro, and played in college.

My own kid seems to be following in the same path, although he started the sport a lot earlier than I did. He spent 2 years of club, playing 2 rotations, and is now the starting setter on his team…. With a killer jump serve.

If she still loves the sport, even if she’s currently the worst on her team, I’d encourage her to keep at it. Out work everyone else out there. She was selected for the team for a reason, a coach sees her potential.

Out of curiosity, how tall are you?

I’m 5’11

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:Going to add in my own experience here as a player and with a son that plays club volleyball. The big question is, does she love the sport? Volleyball is a big commitment when it comes to practice time and travel tournaments.

I went into the sport late, after playing AAU basketball for years. I somehow made my high school team and then played club. I mostly sat the bench, in both, but still worked hard in practice. I kept working and, eventually, I earned a starting position. I wound up being all county, all metro, and played in college.

My own kid seems to be following in the same path, although he started the sport a lot earlier than I did. He spent 2 years of club, playing 2 rotations, and is now the starting setter on his team…. With a killer jump serve.

If she still loves the sport, even if she’s currently the worst on her team, I’d encourage her to keep at it. Out work everyone else out there. She was selected for the team for a reason, a coach sees her potential.

Out of curiosity, how tall are you?

I’m 5’11

This is one thing I dislike about volleyball -- it is very, very weighted to girls that are very tall. If you're a late starter who is going to be 5'11" like this poster, or taller, then it's one thing, but if you're a late starter that is only going to be 5'6" or 5'7" (which is still tall for a woman!), that's a different thing. It's hard to "out work everyone else out there" if you're under 5'9" or so, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:Going to add in my own experience here as a player and with a son that plays club volleyball. The big question is, does she love the sport? Volleyball is a big commitment when it comes to practice time and travel tournaments.

I went into the sport late, after playing AAU basketball for years. I somehow made my high school team and then played club. I mostly sat the bench, in both, but still worked hard in practice. I kept working and, eventually, I earned a starting position. I wound up being all county, all metro, and played in college.

My own kid seems to be following in the same path, although he started the sport a lot earlier than I did. He spent 2 years of club, playing 2 rotations, and is now the starting setter on his team…. With a killer jump serve.

If she still loves the sport, even if she’s currently the worst on her team, I’d encourage her to keep at it. Out work everyone else out there. She was selected for the team for a reason, a coach sees her potential.

Out of curiosity, how tall are you?

I’m 5’11

This is one thing I dislike about volleyball -- it is very, very weighted to girls that are very tall. If you're a late starter who is going to be 5'11" like this poster, or taller, then it's one thing, but if you're a late starter that is only going to be 5'6" or 5'7" (which is still tall for a woman!), that's a different thing. It's hard to "out work everyone else out there" if you're under 5'9" or so, I think.

I’m the 5’11” poster and, I agree, being successful at the sport typically requires height, but that’s not necessarily the case for libero and setter positions. Like a lot of sports, you have an advantage if you’re a certain height. I was never going to be a successful gymnast, but excelled at volleyball and basketball.

I will stand by my statement that it is possible to out work people. That may earn you a spot as a starter, but possibly not. If you’re short, you are likely not going to excel as a hitter, but you can absolutely put in the work to be an excellent setter or libero. Lexi Rodriguez (Nebraska - Libero) is 5’5”. Zoe Huang (Maryland - setter) is 5’3”.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is a practice player for a club VB team. She plays another sport so we couldn’t do the tournaments. You could ask about this option although hard to do in middle of season.

If she really wants to play, then she’ll need to do all the extra work it takes to get better. I think you can tell if a kid truly loves a sport.

If she’s done playing VB then I’d let her quit. Why spent so much $$$$ and time doing the tournaments and she’s miserable and you know she’s quitting anyway. I’d cut my losses and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a practice player for a club VB team. She plays another sport so we couldn’t do the tournaments. You could ask about this option although hard to do in middle of season.

If she really wants to play, then she’ll need to do all the extra work it takes to get better. I think you can tell if a kid truly loves a sport.

If she’s done playing VB then I’d let her quit. Why spent so much $$$$ and time doing the tournaments and she’s miserable and you know she’s quitting anyway. I’d cut my losses and move on.

PP and I think it will make it worse for her to ask that at this point. It is such a team sport. I can’t imagine any team being okay with a player deciding to stop going to any tournaments. I don’t mean the coaches, I’m talking about the other girls. I’m assuming the girl is 13 or older of OP was talking about hotels last weekend but please correct me if this is incorrect.

I’d tell your daughter to find a way to honor her commitment and then drop down to rec or stop playing in the future if she doesn’t want to continue.