SAHM with both parents involved
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Anonymous
How sad for you! |
Anonymous
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I SAH. Kids are school-aged.
Kids activities - signup and rides— we discuss what they’ll do together, but I sign them up, pay registration, provide vast majority of rides. DH sometimes picks them up and comes to many games, concerts, etc. Kids academic enrichment— N/A Cooking meals— mostly me; DH sometimes does on weekends when he has time. Packing school lunch— me House cleaning— both Dishes— mostly me, but both Taking trash out— me Planning vacations— we discuss together; I research & book everything. Kids bath and bedtimes— both |
Anonymous
I work and I do 90% of these. If I were SAH I’d do the same and still expect DH to participate in bath/bedtime when he’s home. DS does trash. |
Anonymous
I don’t think that would save me much time. I can wash and cut vegetables while the pan heats up. |
Anonymous
My DH can’t be home for dinner every night because of his work schedule. When he does make it home, a lot of times he doesn’t want to eat what we are eating because he has learned picky eating from his parents (white Midwest - no seafood, no meat unless burnt or fried, no to many fruits and veg, etc) |
Anonymous
| ^Which is to say, dinner isn’t the only way to be involved. He helps with kids bed and bath time and attends practices and performances. |
Anonymous
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I SAH with early elementary kids and DH works at home. I do everything on the list with some consulting with DH. DH helps with bath/bedtime unless he is working late. He also helps everyone get out the door in to he morning. DH goes to at least half kid activities and is on the committee of our cub scout troop. With conflicting after school activities DH will sometimes pick up a kid from school.
I also keep track of the car maintenance, landscaping, home projects and maintenance, budget/money, and kids therapies. We are all happy, but I am now feeling stuck as I cannot imagine DH being able to shoulder half of this burden so I can go back to work after so many years of this. I don't even think DH knows where laundry detergent is or where kitchen items are stored. |
Anonymous
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I work PT - three evenings a week.
Kids activities - signup and rides: me unless I am at work, then my mother will do pickup since he's still at work at those times. Kids academic enrichment: me Cooking meals: me. If I am working I leave a cooked meal behind. Packing school lunch: me House cleaning: me Dishes: whoever is home runs before bed Taking trash out: me unless he notices it's overflowing Planning vacations: 100% me. I've decided to drop the rope on this this year and see what he does. Kids bath and bedtimes: he does if I am at work, otherwise me |
Anonymous
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I SAH (mom)
Kids activities - signup and rides ME Kids academic enrichment ME Cooking meals ME Packing school lunch DH House cleaning ME (a little help from DH) Dishes DH Taking trash out DH Planning vacations BOTH Kids bath and bedtimes DH |
Anonymous
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This can depend greatly on how much childcare is required of the SAHP. As a SAHM who has always had 2 young kids at home, I rely more on my Husband to help with cleaning (among other things) at night and on the weekends. Now that my youngest is almost 2, and she’s our last, this frees up time. But a significant amount of my day is still simple childcare: diapers, potty training, feeding, cleaning up after, teaching rules, regulating.
Also with 3 kids, I spend a lot of time with clothes (sorting, storing, acquiring), and stuff that comes into the house in general. And never expected this to take so much time. |
Anonymous
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I was a SAHM with a spouse working long hours.
I did all the mental load things. I planned the menu, shopped, and cooked and packed lunches. I kept track of which kids needed medical appointments and took them and filled the prescriptions, and remembered which nights the kid wore the retainer. I planned all the birthday parties and summer camps and selected and kept the schedule for extracurriculars. I did all of the household tasks that aren't super time dependent, like laundry, and cleaning the toilets, and taking the dog to the vet. But when DH was home and awake (DH worked shift work, including overnights), he was a 50/50 partner. If the table needed to be cleared, he was as likely as me to do it. If a kid needed a bath or to be put to bed it might be him or me. If the trash needed to go out or the dishwasher needed to be emptied during the time he was home then it might be him or me. I did all the cooking, and all the homework help, because those are my strengths, and he did the yard work that came up during those times, and the dog walking, and took the kids outside to play, so we were both doing things but not always the same thing, but it was equal. We also prioritized sitting down to a meal together whenever possible, whether that was breakfast, lunch or dinner, going to church together, and him attending the kids sports as much as possible. |
Anonymous
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I’m a SAHM of 3 kids. K and 2nd Grade.
Kids activities - I sign up for all the activities and populate the calendar. DH helps with driving. We try to do some activities online, if possible. Kids academic enrichment - Me Cooking meals - Me Packing school lunch - Me House cleaning - Me + I coordinate cleaners. Dishes - Me more, but DH helps sometimes Taking trash out - DH Planning vacations 100% me Kids bath and bedtimes - Me Doctors kids visits - Me Grocery Shopping- mostly Me Fixing up around the house- DH Cars maintenance - DH Yard/Lawn - DH and he coordinates cleaning, mowing etc |
Anonymous
| Working mom jealous of these involved dads. I work and handle 90% of this list. Womp womp. |
Anonymous
I am a longtime SAHM. When kids were under 5 it was all hands on deck whenever DH was at home. Once the kids are school aged I do everything on that list except DH helps with evening rides, academics/homework and bedtime. I do all the rest (and am fine doing so.) |
Anonymous
Did you warn him? Doesn't seem fair to at least not provide a heads up. Also if you're going to resent him if it doesn't work, this seems like a terrible plan. |