If you and your in laws are in the dmv

[Anonymous]

45 min away, see them usually on saturdays. Moving about 20 min away in a couple of months so hoping it will be easier to see them and take less long term planning!

[Anonymous]

My parents are 2 miles away. Before they moved here, the 4 of us had a conversation about time spent together, and all agreed that we had the kind of relationship that if any of us felt we were spending too much time together, we could say something, no hard feelings.

And, we sometimes go a month or two without seeing each other, and sometimes see each other multiple times a week (more me and kids than my spouse, but he sees them too).

[Anonymous]

We live 30 minutes away from my in laws and they have come to our house once in probably three or four years. We had a second baby and they never came to visit/meet him at all. They don’t work and do nothing all day. We’ve offered to pay for an uber to our house but literally all they want to do is talk about their petty grievances with their families from over two decades ago and stay at home watching tv. Normally I would just assume they don’t like me but my MIL always is asking me to come over by myself so we can spend time together. But like…I work full time and have children.

[Anonymous]

We live 30 mins away. I used to try a lot more when the kids were little, and eventually gave up because they had little interest beyond bragging about being helpful (they were not) and also always were chastising the kids for ridiculous stuff. They are just not warm people. We see them for Holidays (have them over) and then sometimes dh will go to them, or very rarely (like once or twice a year) they take one teen somewhere local (like the mall, where mil yells at a saleslady) I personally have stopped trying because it's frustrating trying to be close to cold people and have them be cold in your face.

[Anonymous]

25 minutes away. We see them approx once/month.

[Anonymous]

About 35 minutes (no-traffic). We see them 2-3 times a month. They will come to us if there are kid activities or for holidays. We also meet at a couple restaurants halfway between for occasional dinners. They're getting older and driving especially at night is harder for them so we've been going to them more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We live 20 mins from my inlaws and used to visit every week before things went sour. Now my mil constantly complains that since we live so ‘far’ away she doesn’t have a relationship with my kids and it’s because of me (dil) otherwise her son would never choose to live so far away from his mother. We have been married 26 years..

If your DH is relaying these complaints, tell him to stop. You don’t need your hear this. And if your husband wants to take the younger kids over more often, then he should do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A less than 5 minute car ride. We had rquired Sunday night dinners with them every single week for many years. But they never, ever babysat, not once. They did, however, require that my children stay at their house when they wanted it, without us. I found that bizarre. They are horrible people who treated me so badly that I finally just said, "enough." Ended the dinners, and now I see them about 4 times a year. My spouse sees and talks to them more, and I made sure my kids maintain a nice, respectful relationship with them. But they are awful and I hate them.

Please tell me you never left your children alone with them.

[Anonymous]

For the entirety of our marriage almost 25 years, ILs have been about 20 minutes away.

I used to see them weekly when they attended every one of DC’s sports games.

When DC younger, they’d babysit but only at their house and their rules so no naps, no schedule, and constant activity. I’d get an exhausted crying tantrum throwing DC in return.

I had to go grey rock when DC was a teen. It was all overwhelming and I realized they’d always be problematic.

[Anonymous]

We are in Del Ray- they are in Mclean. We go to them maybe once a week. They come to us maybe once every four months.

[Anonymous]

Every other week or so for lunch plus we vacation with them and spend holidays with them. We live in Arlington and they moved to retirement community at Lansdowne in Leesburg.

[Anonymous]

0 minutes away - they live with us.

We have family dinners whenever we all (me, DH, 2 teenagers, IL) are home.

[Anonymous]

Maybe 40 min away and we see them maybe every other month. No babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you and your inlaws both live in the same area (example the dmv) .. how far do you live from each other? How often do you see them? How often do you visit and how often do they visit? Thanks

10 minutes depending on traffic. Rarely and its maybe been a year or two since I've seen my mom. She has no interest in us or my kids.

Ideally every week or two.

[Anonymous]

MIL is in NW DC
Last visited in October
Were in MD 30 mins away .. She’s visited once.

We aren’t concerned.