Christmas with an only child teen, how to keep it festive?

[Anonymous]

We have two kids, not an only, but they’re both very into friends right now. We’ve started incorporating their friends into holiday festivities. DS’s girlfriend and DD’s best friend joined us this year to decorate the tree.

[Anonymous]

When my son was that age, we baked cookies and made treat packets to deliver to some of his closest friends.

[Anonymous]

Don’t you have any extended family? No grandparents? No cousins? No in laws? Nothing? Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you have any extended family? No grandparents? No cousins? No in laws? Nothing? Sad.

You're stupid and gross

[Anonymous]

As my kids moved into being teens, I realized that I needed to plan something for Christmas Day to make it fun or else after presents were open, it would just be them on individual screens if we weren’t visiting family. We try to meet them in the middle and get a “family” video game- like wheel of fortune or Untitled Goose Game. We’ve also gotten family board games, but they are less likely to play those without arm twisting that ruins the family feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you make Christmas special when you're just with your three person nuclear family and the child is now a teenager?

It wasn't a problem when DD was younger and loved all the parental attention but now is turning 13 right around Christmas and recently had moved into much-rather-be-with-my-friends than my parents mode. We have little traditions like decor and gifts, but I'm feeling anxious about this mood we've been seeing bringing down the day. Last weekend we planned to do traditional Christmas baking to give cookies to the neighbors and it was like pulling teeth.

my DS is 16 and we're also a 3-person fam. Every Christmas we have some family traditions/rituals mixed in with friend hang out times. They include a film festival (stream moves where each one of us picks 2 movies that we all watch together than we rate them and decided on a ranking). Trim and decorate tree with ornaments we've been collecting from trips and years and all drink egg nog and play holiday music. Go out to a great -re-Christmas lunch and/or dinner at one of the hotels or nicer restaurants in town (teen gets a gourmet burger and mocktail). We also host some of his K-8 and HS school friends to come over in groups of 1-3 for dinner and cook for everyone 1 or 2 times over the holidays. We take a driving tour to watch the city lights at night and he gets to DJ music (usually rap) with us (we switch to jazz).

[Anonymous]

Christmas movie binge? Elf, Home Alone, National Lampoon etc. And sigh....teenagers are both a delight and brutal. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

I grew up as an only child. My family always went to the movies on Christmas afternoon and now that I have young kids, I miss that tradition. My kids want to be home playing with their new toys.

Now we’re usually just 6 - my family of 4 + my parents. After dinner we take a casual stroll around the neighborhood to look at decorations. We also usually have a jigsaw puzzle on the coffee table. When I was a teen, one thing I appreciated was that my parents would play “my” music while we hung out and worked on the puzzle - back in the day when you got new CDs for Christmas. And they didn’t comment about inappropriate lyrics or tell me it was “bad”.

There are several families in our neighborhood who have just their nuclear family + 1-2 relatives for Thanksgiving. We invite a big group over for evening dessert potluck and it helps to mix up the families after a long day of “visiting”. Thankfully on Christmas my kids can run outside and play with friends because about 50% of our neighbors are Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to leave the house at this age

So no baking unless they like baking.

You might have to throw some money at this. Maybe some shows. Take them and a friend to something

This. At this age they have real preferences and activities aren't fun just because they are "holiday" or they get to do it with mom.

We go to the movies a lot, go see the Nutcracker (DD does ballet and is still into this), go out to eat. We try to hit all our favorite restaurants during the break. Same with favorite take out. Yes to time with other families but also we don't force that -- we know a few other families with onlies and we'll do stuff with them or with families from school as it comes up.

I actually disagree with the PP that doing stuff just the 3 of us feels "lonely" this time of year. I think it's a mindset. I like doing stuff just the 3 of us. But the key is to do stuff DD actually likes doing and not to do "forced family fun." That's not just a holiday thing, it's year round. Larger families can get away with that more but with just one kid, you need that kid's buy in.

Whenever DD suggest something holiday-related, I try to make it happen. She suggested we get ugly Christmas sweaters one year, so we did (even though neither her dad nor I would ever choose that). She wanted to watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in order last years, so we did that and now it's tradition.

I have actually liked as she's gotten older how she determines more of what we do and it takes the pressure off just to make "Holiday magic." We treat it like we would any vacation.

+1 - Mom of an only 12-year-old - we do Christmas stuff not because we've always done it but because it would be fun for her. Like going to a special "Elf" movie party at a theater

[Anonymous]

Can you guys invite me over during your winter breaks? So many of these activities sounds really fun!

[Anonymous]

Together time is important and I love the ideas upthread, but it's also OK to hibernate a little. Teens are busy, it's dark and cozy season, it may be finals at school, illnesses abound. Make sure you build in some dead days where nobody has to be social.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you have any extended family? No grandparents? No cousins? No in laws? Nothing? Sad.

Yes, you are sad and a clueless bltch.

[Anonymous]

My child has been invited to her friends Hannukah celebration so maybe she can invite some.friends over that don't celebrate. We always get a new board game or puzzle that we work on. Movies are fun or just walking around downtown.

[Anonymous]

We incorporate their friends.

Have a few guys over for movies, video games, and pizza. Tell them you are making cookies and they can eat them if they help decorate. They will jump right in. Then put on Elf and make hot chocolate while they decorate.

Start doing take-out grub and movies like Die Hard instead of Rudolph.

Or do the corny Hallmark movies and make a non drinking game out of it. My teens love that. We laugh all night.

We also rented a limo one time and brought a bunch of kids thru the drive thru lights. Then back for movies and cookies.

Girls did a dress up dinner and ate at Tower Oaks lodge. Lots of pics. But then I give them Christmas questions they have to ask during dinner and it’s really cute.

Teens realize the joy when their other friends are in on it too. By 16/17 they start to miss the old childhood stuff and come back. 13-15 was the worst.

[Anonymous]

We host people, get together with friends to do things, and do some of the traditional things we do together (baking, movies, festival of lights, etc.)

We always offer to include her friends and ask her what sort of things she may want to do this year.