Are you sure he’s playing with his “friends” |
Um I live in a state where basically only law enforcement and criminals have guns. Kids still talk about guns. They are everywhere on tv, in movies, there are nerf guns, guns in video games, references to war and weapons. They definitely know what guns are and are interested in them. |
Yes, and this is precisely why many parents supervise the media that their 1st graders are consuming and are selective about the toys they buy them. My 1st grader didn't know what a gun was until kindergarten. We don't watch tv shows or movies with guns, don't buy toy guns, and don't allow him to play video games that involve guns, shooting, violence, etc. The families that we socialize with have similar rules, so he has had very little exposure to guns and, for now, has very little interest. I'm not naive enough to think it will always be this way, but I will do my best to stave off the glorification of guns for as long as possible. |
+1. We never allowed DS to watch violent movies and we don’t allow toy guns in the house. DS got a nerf gun this year at 10 from BIL who did not know rules in our house. We eased up and let him play with it. As to Roblox and Fortnite, none of that. He doesn’t have a gaming system. Sometimes he will play some benign football game or airplane game on ipad but not daily. A few of his friends do play Roblox but I don’t know anyone doing Fortnite. Anyway, my DS and his friends don’t talk about above or guns when they hang out. When his friends come over, they play outside, play board games, watch movie, etc…. Same when he goes over to his friends house but there they might play some sports video game for 1/2 hour towards the end but it’s never the majority and main focus. All these boys are also active in sports and activities. I think it’s the kids your son is hanging out with OP. Maybe you should encourage him to branch out and make some new friends with different interests besides gaming and guns. |
NP - you sound misinformed. Roblox and Fortnite also allow you to talk to strangers. Many cyber security experts name Roblox and Fortnite as the two games they would not let their kids play. It’s not just stranger interactions, but inappropriate content, language, etc. Most kids at our elementary seem to play them, especially Roblox, but honestly most of those parents don’t play video games and don’t really understand what Roblox or Fortnite are. Do they lock down the available privacy settings? Unclear, but I’m guessing no. It’s just as toxic as social media. |
Yup, this. And to those who say they don't let their sons play these games and they are friends with kids who have different interests, that's great, but it can be hard to achieve. We are in zone for a huge elementary school in Fairfax with families from different backgrounds, and by first grade my son who watched TV like Wild Kratts and family movie night but had no video games felt like he was one of the only boys who didn't have and play video games. Eventually he got a gaming system at age 12, with strict limitations, but not gaming was hard socially before that. Of course, now that he does game we have all the issues that come with that. Including the social media element of Roblox that PP noted above. Ugh. |
I agree 7 is too early. By 8 they'll figure out how to play free online game on school issued computer, and by 9 they'll figure out how to load up the games on web browser on home wi-fi and play all the way on the school bus to school and doing the same in the afternoon on their way back. Make it hard for them, they'll find a way, don't worry, just don't make it easy. I got my DS8 a computer (just a little cube attached to a monitor), he plays free <insert here>.ios games on them, but he also get to code on scratch. He also learns to type. and take chess zoom classes. Don't just give him video game/apple watch/ipad. Give him a computer with keyboard. At least they can learn typing. |
We also cultivate friendships with likeminded families and don't allow violent shows but I'm having trouble with school exposures. DS is asking for nerf guns and Roblox because he says all the friends at school have these things. What public schools can I choose to avoid this, I cannot afford private. I am thinking about purchasing a Nintendo Switch for christmas in order to get child friendly games like Mario kart so that he will stop asking for the violent computer games (that we keep saying no to). |
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DS has had access to a switch and an iPad since he was in ES but we have regulated his usage. In early ES he was allowed 30 minutes a day and could earn 30 minutes more by doing some extra work out of a work book. His school didn’t send home homework but we believe that practicing skills helps with retention and mastery. If he did 30 minutes of work in a work book he could earn another 30 minutes of screen time.
He played Roblox but was not allowed to chat or talk to other players in the game. He did facetime with some friends who were playing the same game so he could chat with them, he did this during COVID but rarely after then. We have not allowed Fortnite, I don’t like the idea of first person shooters with people hunting other people. He had friends who played Fortnite but they played other games as well and they talked those games a fair amount. He has a group of friends who play Zelda, Mario, and other Switch games that they talk. He got a Apple Watch in 6th grade, mainly because he had bridged over into a Scout Troop and we wanted him to have a way to contact us if he needed to while camping with his Troop. We control the contact list and have it set to not allow texting or calling during school hours. |
Why the scare quotes? Yes, he’s playing with his friends. They exchange usernames at school and then I add them as friends to his account, which I control. |
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This really depends on if a kid has older siblings or not. When my oldest was in second grade a bunch of kids in his class were playing Roblox. I didn’t understand how it worked and he seemed too young for it so he didn’t play it. Now in 6th grade he and a bunch of kids at school are into Fortnite. We have a weekends only rule and a lot of parental controls set up. His brother is in second grade and knows all about it because well that’s how it works when there’s an older kid in the house. FWIW my nephews were obsessed with Fortnite a while back they are all well adjusted older teens and young adults now.
Part of parenting is dealing with the reality that some kids are allowed to do things you don’t allow for your own kid. Just be comfortable in your choices and be open to re-evaluation as they get older. Teach them balance and moderation and that school is most important, and all will be fine. DCUM is not a representative place. Lots of anxious and holier than thou types. |
+1. I am NOT against video games at all, but 7 is too young for those games IMO. My DS didn't even ask for a game system until he was 8, and he just asked for an apple watch now at 11 years old. In my DS's 6th grade class of 24 kids there is only 1 boy with an iPhone and 2 with apple watches for context... though I suspect after this Xmas that will change a little. In our experience, it seems like the kids that play these games very young and ask for iPhones and smart watches are the ones with older siblings that play the games/have the devices - so they are exposed to them much earlier. Don't give into pressure, or if you are - sit there and watch him play for a while so you can see what he's being exposed to. Then you can decide for yourself if you think it's appropriate and your child is mature enough for them. |
| Lots of paedos love Roblox |
| Do not let your 7year old play Roblox unsupervised. There are tons of predators on that community. Most parents don’t play videos games so don’t know that Roblox isn’t a game but a bunch of mini games. Some are very inappropriate such as tweaking games for kids, bathroom simulators, death run simulators. Parents again don’t know that there are ways around parental controls such as writing using spray paint in game or simulated sex acts. Look at the article on the Wall Street journal on Roblox. I tested it out and it’s a big nope for my kid until Roblox does better at policing the platform. |
Haha so true I bet anyone that send a request to their kid will be accepted. |