Can anyone tell me about their adult DC with neurotypical-passing ASD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our dc has audhd and is 11. He seems mostly like a regular kid but he doesn't quite connect deeply like a 'typical' kid so his friendships are still surface level. He understands irony and sarcasm and can use it so isn't a 'target', but can be annoying (sometimes hard to tell if the annoyingness is adhd or asd) but quite self focused and like 'i am the victim' (we work on this). Does anyone have a kid like this who is now an adult? I worry that he will struggle to have a relationship, although he is very loving and willing to be active and proactive and we work really hard on all the skills that go with a relationship.

just fyi when you're talking to people in real life i wouldn't use the phrase 'regular kid' as if our asd kids aren't also regular kids.

also I'm willing to bet he isn't neurotypical passing.

Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed

I have a similar kid who also tends to see himself as a victim. I think it’s part of the rsd profile, if you’ve heard of that

[Anonymous]

Experience in my extended family where we have many people that fit your kid's description is that holding a job, having pets, making some friends/having hobbies, and getting married generally happen. Driving is 50/50 but living in a city and having a spouse that drives makes it ok. Having kids is where shit gets real...most don't try but if they do, they tend not to be great to their kids or their spouse. Some manage but it's helpful for their kids to do day care, summer camp, and structured activities so the parents get a routine and breaks and the kids are exposed to adults with the skills their parents lack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical passing autism” isn’t actually a thing. Your kid sounds NT with some quirks.

It's called masking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our dc has audhd and is 11. He seems mostly like a regular kid but he doesn't quite connect deeply like a 'typical' kid so his friendships are still surface level. He understands irony and sarcasm and can use it so isn't a 'target', but can be annoying (sometimes hard to tell if the annoyingness is adhd or asd) but quite self focused and like 'i am the victim' (we work on this). Does anyone have a kid like this who is now an adult? I worry that he will struggle to have a relationship, although he is very loving and willing to be active and proactive and we work really hard on all the skills that go with a relationship.

I have a college-age daughter like this, same diagnosis and a bit of the "victim" mentality. She's honestly doing much better than I expected in college. She seems to have a group of friends. I don't know how close they are, but she's not sitting at home by herself every weekend. She lives off campus in an apartment with a friend and they get along well. I'm not sure how deep her friendships are, but I'm also not sure that she seeks deep connections with people. She met her friends through shared interests - video games and D and D - so I think there are probably a lot of people like her in those clubs. In high school she was often excluded, but to be honest, I think it bothered me more than it did her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical passing autism” isn’t actually a thing. Your kid sounds NT with some quirks.

It's called masking.

no one masks 100% of the time.